I CHOSE TO BLEED OFF AND ON FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE



a sad damp ball
wonder who loves u
even if u can see it/feel it on a daily basis
or a weekly basis
or a lifetime basis
i am sad at myself for being sad at myself
all the time is just a yesterday
this is a one off abt all the times i freakout
when u touch me
when u say give me
when kyle crawford and justin flowers
were nearly struck by lightning
but nobody cares because they are still alive
i guess lightning isn't that scary
because it is so far away
there is a boom in my blood too
the way you write: i am drunk mess
piss on me
write mean things on my skin
this is an awkward way to dream
but nobody touches me w/ inky fings
i am just a piece of the air passing
puzzle of who can fit me into their scenery
i am trying to take care of myself
i went to work today
and all i can think about it the last line
of the james wright poem
and how paul told jenny to put it at the end
of a poem she wrote
and i think that was a great idea
and i have been thinking abt ending
all these poems since then w/ the line
i have wasted my life
but it just isn't working