31 October 2013


look at me (irl)
             hello sidewalk hello jealousy face in the alley
           smoke joint and marlboro
   taste jameson w ice
 i am a nectar
grow beard back i shaved bc i loved you when it hurt me
   to feel so scared
on a branch on a faded light of deadness in dark places
   where do i put my hands
        yes yes i love
touching your body my hands hurricane across your
everglades better glacier eyes or what i can't see
behind  a stupid memory
 the hurt past of who we are is not who we are
    i love this now
        hold you in your car covered in red leaves
    fog the glassthat covers
  this silly planet we die on
i;m not ready still
    i need more time to be twisted root
   tree that lives for over a century
   i keep climbing myself
   hoping i can find your face in everything i see
diary poem

way to do w the weteyes
prepared all the tears my heart is half full and tired
moon knows who i am even if i don't look
at the sky an empty distance
me to you this a new night how i sleep
when warm body
a warning i would split my ribs for love
put a candle for you in lungs
to know which window i am
see through my weakness
surprise w the light behind yr eyes
i forget a healing pull of waves inside my ocean
show you what tide covers
small living stars pools of fish we catch w our hands
i don't know where i am going  to be
holding onto you and closing my mouth
around the salt and broken

30 October 2013


it turns black
almost draw bite deep in me
let it
i mean i was going to write abt blood
there ws  a stain of me
on the sidewalk for years
but they tore it up
i am not dead
i am going w/ elizabeth to a french restaurant
in chicago
i can taste it too
s'd i like red wine and i do
stomped on a broken bottle
the glas went thru my shoe and the doctor
s'd they didn't get it all out
i don't map
my lost blood
it doesn't taste like a raw steak
i'm just slowly vampirising myself
i used to be so proud
of no broken bones
like you ask paul what his favourite liquid is
or it's water
i mean blood is water
it's in my brain too
but i can't see it there

here i will keep you
pound grey until the bus crash
who hit me
i am sorry i pushed you in the street
i don't remember
i keep saying
i don't remember
please hold my head in your arms
i cry
how much farther can i fall
my feet are the great pyramids crumbling
you take too many pictures
of art
she can't keep going
like this with
flashing bulb
high beam against the fog
i can't see i mean
was i asleep
in your car
dreams abt a roll in a ditch
holler as you wish
but long like a prince
always confused
by the successful poor
my neck is leaking
let me go spit blood in the sink before
i mean i am
writing a poem abt my brain
maybe i do dream
maybe my dad is real
my wet face
is not a muddy river
i've never even been down the mississippi
she blues me
sing i can't sing underwater
in an airplane over
gets high
puts price on own head
i am a headhunter looking for skull poems
to shrink
wrap me in yr kisses
i want to say darling until yr ears umbrella my throat
look at me say
soft bruise
boy is an afterthought i forget to not worry so much
i feel alone even when i am not
i know
i remember what you s'dd
i am flying
get my license to do anything i can do w/ my busted winger
scars for fingers
when they mock a tree for losing it's leaves
i break foundation stone w my rumbling man voice
climb me and nest by my lopped head
guillotine'd or how i say
a hidden knife put my sleep away
don't sharpen
the body
i might cut myself down
sink to the bottom of the ocean holding my breath
it is a sea
i am a tiny blue whale she sings
don't dive so deep
and scoops the clouds away from my eyes
human poem

im eating almonds
imeatingalmonds im eatingalmonds
i ran into cole pfeiffer (sp) at barley st tavern
last night i didnt recognize him
and then i felt bad
i am an asshole
i am scared of other humans
i have a diet dr pepper bc my gf said
diet dr pepper has more caffei

29 October 2013

i am a stupid human

i cry
never forget buildings fall down
people hate
its monkey eat banana this way
i can climb trees
raptors open doors and they want to eat anything
that bleeds
who trusts a crazy void god
melt dumb gold
swallow poison bc we will die
happy thanksgiving
i am usually drunk  on holidays
im sad rn
and i dont really know why
there is hair on some of my body
i blame my asshole father for
a lot of things
fear is a weapon
i think
people are really fucked up
i think thinking is a

never is ago my mind travel
think time is a fucked up invention
for dead things (brain)
ever expanding skull she slips
hands thru my licked eyes
forehead kiss me into


hello, government plz
don't fucking tell me what to do
im sorry JOB
for all my POT SMOKING
im a scared monkey crawling on space rock
thinking what the fuck can i do
to avoid JAIL TIME
TIME IS A PRISON isabox i can make believe
you are an airplane
these are statues of capitalism that wants the poor
to stay that way
insane is just
a crime
Barack Obama can't stop racism
killing every white mother fucker wont end racism
changing the washington redskins to some dumb animal
that we are going to kill anyway wont end racism
i just wanna sleep until i cant sleep
and then sleep forever - kurt cobain
didn't say that he shot his face off
and i am in love so shout at the god damn weather
why dont you open up wide
let the sky rain firey rocks into our brains
dumb monkey
here isa  poem for me i am in the dark
i am afraid afraid afraid of why i can't deal w/ how it hurts me

28 October 2013

no sleep poem

here is my love letter
i'd say
justy does it i mean work
or this is death as a feeling
not the end
of earth if i were god
and so what
here i am the god of this dweam
stay awake until i die
she says
is a way
i will never ride a roller coaster i tell you
w/ my mouth nibbling at your ear
in morse code
this is my secret
the dumb egg didn't even need his shell
i want to kiss you
in front of people traveling thru germany
say it in german
like i learn
it's so garble rubbing rams horns against
my favourite tree
showing fresh rings
i didn't even know i could grow fruit
these berries just  popped up
staining my hands
looking at you down a long well lit hallway

blueberryredbull is bla bla i am so above the dusty mirror
yes the sleep is my heart always killing itself until kyle does
or my dad tries again bc i
murdered him
i am a buddhist
built into a field of windmills sucking energy from movement
the suck of gravity
the suck of my flaccid stupid
in a comfortable bed i didnt write that drake did but i am
the fucking god of my silly broosed brain
she seas in sane weather few miles up beach from miami
welcome to my dollface
chewing marbles of pain w/ my childhoood
i don't talk to the dead
i can't kiss kyle on the forehead since he has grown like a short tree
he has fruit and their is so much music in blood
that we can see the colors of love
as if it was sweating globs of a smiling moon from our dialated eyes
please i am pills for breakfast this is so used i am bending
in what they call wind
i guess the earth is moving but i can't seem to find the edge
the iced white walls decorated w shoe smashed spiders
you save me even w/ my useless body open w/ wounds and love
for you as much as my human body can do this
chemicals and i see you it is a pretend
to say i am not afraid of dying
i say i am not a buddhist
i am a buddhist
gods blasted away my ovaries before i was born
this is a story of who my lost family
this is not a secret

talk to me abt the dark place
where it is before i know i wont sleep again
i am you and taking these pills
drinking flavored energy drinks
i am so at home running my hands over your head
i miss you as soon as you step away
and i know i disappeared
it was selfish of me to hide
because i felt unwanted
i can't say the bruises on my brain
cause me to act this way
my eyes are dragons having conversations with themselves
you know??
i want to see your face right now
i want to kiss your hip
twisting our bodies
until rock is nothing
the air we used to breathe is all gone

sometimes i hold my breath to change the reactions inside
a lung a pink think getting pinker as the setting curve
of your body pressed up against my face i want to kiss your hips
until there is nothing but our tangled bodies
floating through what we perceive as time our skin turns
moon to new pull away my expanding heart for you
taking in what air is closest to your skin my love for you
is a spacesuit as i

23 October 2013

zoo bar w liz wednesday october 11pm

spending my bank account on moderate pours of jameson
lets go to europ i yell over the dj spins
you kiss me and it is all i want but everywhere
going to copenhagen by the mountain goats
was going to snort blow w john darnyelle what ever his name is
name this
moment im sorry i didnt come
over and eat all your ice cream why didnt you
just kiss me
i am loud whispering w my wide mouth
i love you lets sleep in
lets go to chicago and rub our feet up each others legs
i am drunk and stoned
i love you

22 October 2013

it could be done better

death before
*loud harmonica*
 i am aware of the time i see future in my sweating
whats the sun then so chill i shiver
skinfur she slices thru a smoothness
princess nightfox or does the tip toe thru midnights
clutter speck eye where the twitching
is only for a few lifetimes
i can spell the credits i mean spill enuf water
over blood that it is just water now
create something better for my lovers lifetime
when money is worthless
and the smoke goes out winters window
i can be a better nothing
see the wilderness in my thrust
shape the bed where i'm gone
each moment is new here
where my eyes find you
finding my lost face
in the tall grass

maw watch my teeth saw
rubber udder a me does good bounce
evil fume off back back smokebomb
tank track soft sand watch washed stone
fall land take a bath in a gooey of loose
jellies zap my kiddy limbs
clean in the gold i stay paralyzed
in sunshine

21 October 2013


who hasn't collected shark teeth on the beaches of den--
mark my skinmap a whiplash scar is scratch
on ecstasy party in the "bad part of town" shits so safe
i could spend a million dollars on illicit drugs
pop the pockets off w/ pants nobody wears them
here we can be a relationship earlier than we planned
im time traveling to new new me future you and we
are sleeping on trains swallowing valium or whatever
its like we ghost thru ghostland auf deutch bahn-
bon voyoyovyvanse in my get up and carry you like
fire fire a fainted painted pretty mountain dangling in the lake
where we saw a moose or we talk in wyomingese abt the
meese we see them all rubbing neck manes and knocking
their headgear like east going west going zax trains on
trickle down effect of my get here to there im in
denmark for a few days i night myself way down the
rivers w beautiful names i was born and asleep in the
mississippi when you came to take me away from blister
of egypt winter im naked kissing away from the sun
caught red burned no thats clay pigment dusty ocean
justy owes the government his goverment jokes like
whoa where did all this schooling take me a wave
a new space age where i bleed for trains to take me
to prague but i mean it was prague i cant say how they
say it in nebraska thats where im from oh ask me ask me
to show you where my houses were i said i moved 22 times
by 29 but my life is lies within lies i am lying in a bed
w/ you the only blonde i dew on grassy plain a figure
ate the shadow i left burned into sandy beaches where
was i i said if we were in florida rn it would be beautiful
weather i just rememeber the drive thru pines w my grand-
pa when he took his grandkids to the circus and we could
have anything my mind was so small and poor and easily
thrilled w gifts or love or whatever attention i could store
in my memory schmemory shes a god-- shes a kyle craw
shes paul reading poems alone to his phone and sending them
to me i listen while taking a shit at this house i am staying in
so roam me so hold me on the train from where omg i rem--bleh
i tweeted somethin soemthin brain to copenhagen i was
just saying i love you and this is what i am excited for? i mean
yes but its w/ you a darling a denmark my neck a neck
for you tattoo the outline of some mapped area i' been in
for awhile a wander a found treasure she kisses my face
til i feel underseas its a gulf i mean the pelicanish brown
wavy texas mouth says stay away from the south of here
these american cities can smell your fear they thick w
it rains so rarely but in florida it rained every day i dream
my grandfather was still alive for some time he said
i could get anything i wanted so i chose a plastic sword
not bc i liked killing or even the sight of blood tho its something
i spot the earth w on a daily i just always pretended i
was some value i was the hero this was my story to be told
to someone who cared enough to listen to my timid whisper
you say i will be the support beam me up to new starship
exploration of the homeland the home of a home i never had
a whole mess of old crumbles and rich baubles its a world
we live on and i want to see it w/ you elizabeth

18 October 2013


make a fit
 twisted body
 i want to (  ...  ) trust ju-- ;(
mmff a stomach sound
  a tickle me a please i "am here"
to be
a waermrr she calls me "nothin' deer"
 or i am forest of tall reeds
weeds for chill me
calm the {   whispers something   }
bc i don't have enuf time to think i mean
i want to write poems for u el.
would blast thru glass w my mind
to kiss u i kissu i kissu i
said watching dark city
living in
space?? create a beach.......
hold me until i am holding me too
  w/ a rib heal a long dock to hold and catch wave
after wave
put fracture and cough cough in my biggest toe
 i will waltz thru heck
in a solar power suit
to see u


i mean it's mostly lil b

17 October 2013


where dey??
 all these feet prints paw me give me some paw
 i saw 70 sets of tracks all going north
  *wonder if dogs go north
     naw naw the birds shouut from sandhills i never
stop here i never see the rosies
falling down w/ 9-5 disease
 hello fam
 hello i love my kids i whisper into the darkness of my future
  and a nothing echoes laff laff blaze a path
have to live alone
to take a bath
trust me here my hand floats thru a few poisonous leafy plants
this is where the mushrooms grow i mean
this is where i take my team
of two dogs
loose logs for me to rest my bigger than a wine bottle buttocks
who says change fell out of my pockets
    somewhere off a walk
     please find my face coined in the forest floor
      the desert of where aral sea was was
  we can't follow iceburg tracks down the great plains
i mean what makes them so great??
 the millions of buffla??
or the trains.


ya i know a few ppl who have smoked meth
i bet u do 2
that's dad's belt
who called the firemarshall
why is he checking my ass cheeks for bruises
where will we put the christmas tree

whats poem???

read pussy in sand
tell villager who knows who the sungod

break sticks break the weakest mans bones
over yr knee and eat the brains off him

call yr mother
say mother i forgive you for bringing me here

the world is a crust
filled w/ hot magma

she says love like it is a bird abt to fly
into the window of a strip mall

i make money
so i can live in my money castle

there are more dogs than  humans or maybe
there are too many humans
to make sense of what words are

words are just trees tht cant grow
because we kill them

we take our axes out of the shed
we tell our sons to go back inside

a wave is a wave isa  wave is a wave is a wave is a wave
at hello neighbor hello golden rule

i will kiss the fence
your ass rests on

tell me dear professor of death
when will i publish the inside of my skin

i have mapped out
heaven w a needle and

16 October 2013


what is a dark place
what is wrong w/ the sugar
where can you get enuf energy to split a tree w yr bear hands
call cleave me my lip spread
the smell of meat ground to an equal ammt of meat
but it seems so chewed
spit down the throat by the world
im like in my office chair thinking abt how much jerkey
mtn men ate
50 lbs a day or some shit??
*drinks diet coke
come on am i a vegetable/? looking at faces of humans alive
wwalking thru like they aren't scared of deth
kid cudi quit smoking marijuana
method man too
gza rza
i took a quiz to see which member of the wutang i would be
but i don't (smiles)
look in the mirror say you ugly genius
slide on jjeans get skinny super skinny feet my bones
i need to bea  pretty awful hider
i need to kiss yr nipples
take my shirt off bc i dont care what a cover is for
i am just old book smell
i want to stand under an umbrella w you
neck and neck and jawline too
pills online dinner parties thinking abt the soviet union
look up abandoned resorts i can become a pirate
if i have enough gold and a boat and a thirst for what ever pirates do these days
lounge a lot i think and talk to monkeys
sippin coconut liquor
its 88 degrees in november
swimm in a half full pool
we let the leaves float
move to a new paradise when we're done

15 October 2013


ate a scone
drank a latte
not sure how i feel i feel like i ate
a scone and drank a latte
pete rose said he would
i am listening to bright eyes sing a happyish song
it is cold it is nebraska it is october
people talk abt sky in october
or when its not october they talk abt the sky in october
and idk i think i love nebraska
i think nebraska is all there is and
everything is the movies or a beautiful memory of some world
me as a boy thought existed
i miss ditches and big sky when im away for awhile
my beard is growing back just in time
i think
to myself
and this is the first time in awhile i have had a girlfriend
its going great
i write home to nobody
theres nobody there or what i mean is i have lived in so many places
all over nebraska
some girl said she moved 6 times and it was crazy
i hate moving but i cant stop
i dated a girl once who said she was part gypsy or something
i think she lives in washington
i gave her my gold volvo and she ruined the engine
i only saw her a few times after that
i miss her cat
i dont even know what im saying now
i guess what i mean is i wouldn't walk thru hell in a gasoline suit
to do anything really
my life seems like fall and october skies and smells like burning wood
burning fuel burning pete rose flesh
why baseball even i mean why basebal i mean y bbal base
bllue eyes radio head smart phone
where was i when i first heard a modest mouse song oh i remember
the street in a town i lived in
talking to this guy i havent seen since high school
one time he and i snuck into the art room after school was out for summer
and took all the pottery students left behind
and went out to a cornfield to hit everything with baseball bats
it hurt my hands pretty bad
feeling the vibrations thru the metal bat as it destroyed art
but i am wondering with nearly 30 years under my belt
why am i still
thinking abt
being in love
with my past
or something
im at a movie with my girlfriend and we are holding hands and its clammy and we duck down in our chairs and we kiss and its usesless to follow plots
our bodies are hollow when we dont have guts
and muscles and all that shit
important stuff really
when you think a body is what you need
or a friend or a bison who is your friend or all animals are your friend
ride across the great american desert they say it
is beautiful on the great plains
and it is

14 October 2013


    who is my god???
  i will jizz into his ear w/ the force of a million earths oceans
   DIE WHALEGOD i spit on gods
 i spit on my dog one time
 i think abt that every time i think abt how my dad killed my dog
i loved that dog so much and i am so sorry i spit on you
 i am afraid of being hurt and i dislike rage but i feel rage
   say i am a pacifist like idk i hate violence but i feel violent

sometimes i feel a monster
    i think a poem for my dead uncle
    i said the bear i knows name was rick
i dont know a bear
  sometimes i am the insane-o
 the last hammock i swung in laying still
  listening to whatever music i was listening to
   at that time i really have no memory
   probably neil young
   the last hammock i tripped balls in
      my first acid trip
    from /whatwas his name/ the kid
 who loved our poetry
 gave me a hit of acid in the old wateringhole bathroom
 he said hey FYFE come here
 i have something for you
 aand of course i took it

11 October 2013


i think im going to drink tonight

grow dolph
in my surf space wave outttter
otters, sea
where are all the animals at the henry do--
its loose, its pain spelled in symbols
are me a poetry
lol 420
i was gassy in front of my girlfriend??
i am human :/
i see humans sometimes and my brain becomes
an ugly grey
say everything is grey until
you crash
write poems abt every car that hits you
every time your father hit you
every time he used sounds to scare
his children
all off being humans
going to die someday
this is the end of my lunch break
i went to sp ce
and sat there trying to get my MIND ok
texted elizabeth
back, thought abt her face
cant wait to see that again
read a poem
abt my mouth to carl
and texted him the audio file
im listening to tupac
have to work
its friday

10 October 2013


need someone to be in a gasoline horse costume
to gallup thru hell w/ me
not for money this is a love of the burn
 wince when we spit down our own throats


09 October 2013


  from me
  the glass i dance my head thru a rolling ton of steel
        me anothr crumbling story of boy meets
somethin somethin a canal a one seventy five skol
i am a sugar      drum thudding thru  tall    nebraska grass
c ornfed falling   in my   dreams
overly sensitive bc  i was a hidden hand in the type type
  tippy tap  a shout  thru walls
 a  house   is
a  house   is    a moving frame
 i am windows i am made of nothing but windows
bang on the glass
w ake me up from my    steps  away
         who a worthless sing
who a hands       stretch to hold small bird
back bridges to my standing in a quiet
  i am nest
   oh and wings and sky is so beautiful beautiful
    i keep looking

my new home will have nothing but bear rugs
bare floors i mean skinned knees in streets
is it raining??
i want to keep this motion until we can't can't stop
not walk into painting of place to go
side of mtn.
my eyes up and down the facade of tunnel me more
into new china, new girl
i love
good abt the way i climb trees it'sa breeze
and say here i am in this place w/ these ppl and you
and i think to tweet something
or i want music in my ears
i want to feel pills and booze numb my body downinto
a windy chair a sleepy bird  take me over the trees
in a catbus a lunch trip a hallucination of you holding my body
up against redwoods and shit
i want to be in fog
i want to vote for someone i love
i want to talk into the night abt watching your mouth move
text me and i break into smiles
rt me and i break into smiles
come closer and closer until your as close as i can say
to perfect lips are on me
i said maybe play kendrick lamar
in this voice like i was being sarcastic i am so dumb sometimes
i have been listening to nothing but kendrick
since we had him on and on in the car in omaha
so drunk so many bottles of jameson
is what im saying is a catch you a feet on the dash i
know we aren't lost
where we at
the streets keep changing
is it raining?
i whisper at oleavers and i mean it i want to be invited to a place
where i can dance w/ you
where can i see you hold you kiss you be closer be closer until nothing
be nothing be nothing be nothing
i am a sitting boy on a sitting branch
i am the bird i named and the other bird who died
shortly after the first one died it was so sad
she kept flying out the door but she always came back
i wanted to kill my dad for so long
but just the idea just the idea of he as a me in my life
so i did or i am in some new universe of my body
morphed by wind and drug and boose and so much sitting
in a chair all day making CA$H for some people i don't know
where my new house at
where my new cave
where my babesquad
where my lover
where pauls voice
where my dinner
where my liver
where my knee like my moms knee like my moms birthday
take her out for dinner tell her i love her
cry every time i think about how the world ends when we end
when we end
its a bad movie
nobody stays for you know
im weepy and listening to kanye sing about gold digging women
want to get back to liquor pool swimming
want to put the potions in my blood
follow a road of me to the beginning
i mean the zero
where it isn't all we know and see and feel and chew
our brains are mountains of dirt
just moved earth
justy moved the earth off his shoulders
shit doesn't float or he cant swim he just lays there with his arms
against his side little red chest lizards run around on stone
waiting for a hand to pluck me from the teardrop
and toss me as far as i can fly w/o the help of machine
or hallow bones

08 October 2013


03 October 2013


I buzz Chicago belt tension the belt and the fantasy of forced over naked children pollution, settled in the circle of death and appetizers are a lot of courage and faith. Many tears continued Whispering Bamboo Bracelet fox Busiris some Russians have thousands of snow Great Western Palm Hotel, and moved sweat. I want sexy Christ as the world, has died. Quickly. These are the last words of my wardrobe. Oh domoranzhevy baby. I write crap. Black and white. I do not mind. So you do not need, do not think a lot of steam still in the air a little blue in the comic, I returned

02 October 2013


bury cooler of busch light
and southern comfort ice cubes
in the loup sandbar
say near the black bridge where u swim
scared or lay inches from the sky
im no angel i think abt texting my dad(dy)
i am a naked tarp over rain damaged car
i am hurricane andrew
the money we have now is worth almost nothing
because we have dreams in American clothes
i can/t name or dive my blood through Carl Aa--
it is raining poets arms and legs
pounding dry brown stubs into the strings and humming
something sad and stupid apes in the space program
drool a little bc i almost fell asleep waiting
for you to come back inside after the cigarette
counting each sheep backwards only shouting words
instead of numbers like i need you closer to my neck
elizabeth or we could all be in some foggy valley
when the leaves are almost a carpet for our
baby toes testing the earth for warmth
good night! chicago swigs of zzzquil
where can we start drinking
the most iriish whiskey our blood of course
a homeland for tipsy kiddos sneaking in the streets
yelling HAPPY HALLOWEEN when it's weeks away
who cares when we eat the candy
who cares when we bleed into the sewers the raccoons
masking themselves to rob our settled corpses
dressed in my very best debt suit
here take my love
take my hope
i don't need them now i have friends and i am going
to stay up w/ them until the sun gets lazy or dies

01 October 2013


spill pressure on the carpet stain
my endless makeout while we
chair thru inception projection
of my i need yous to be heres to
save me from my run away and hide
on the internet we knew a hang out
stair same direction where faces
cant say hello mirror me forever me
new drizzy drake me w the floor
to the now here we at shramp'd
for the weekend or who cares what
day it is im drunk im fun im alive
is one for the knowme and RT
i can just human here on a stoop
rollinup and down i80 in a coop'd
/focus flail for the fear of how yolo
we are finding each other say he dat
she dat we dat crushin' on couches
fight for dance floor sp ce more
sing me your feelings i will feel more
dream outloud we can all find out
what we here for the sound of
laugh laugh this is my hugging body
this is yr party this where i started
showing up on drugs thinking

vyvanse is super adderal, blueberry redbull is blueberry flavored redbull

and a pizza i think in my brain
after i say “”you naked in a bed of so many pillows
how could i go quickly in any other direction
and you naked i am so buzzed a thought
remember my cheek rest on hipbone
stop for a drink i will race home to my nothings
my life is a together mess i musss
-t gather my unfurled tongue
bring over a toothbrush
kiss you awake