23 October 2012


i will never be
the storm howling from infinity
directions to a home
i am not here
like zen
half a poet
or half a mouth of teeth
but what if i
am shark
am shark
am shark etc...

but i just got a flat skull
my brain is worthless
i mean it is worth
nothing to me
bc i do not believe in the god of my parents
who borrowed their god from other people
they are dead
i do not believe in alice notley
for completely different reasons

but lets wake up
& uneven
& what liquid is this
we are just lightbulbs too
put in by ourselves
i love
& hate how
& time
we are drinking our drippy
like i am
holding on

but the moon has sex
& hope
& thinks its nice
to be around all of us
i guess
her belly is growing
there is a dust ring around her head
i think
she says
i am drunk
& i will do these things to hurt you

but it makes waves
& i was built to surf
& fall apart
at the cock
rusting knuckles
my spit fly
what do i own
why did i just
buy this

but text
is my lightning storm i lied
i am a liar
among other things
a monster
wanting to slow cook
fuck poems
fuck poets
i mean
you know
like stick my blood packed dong
into the new yorkers whatever
i mean
& forgotten that i was once plugged in

but you don't sniff
coke off
the trunk of a dirty car
farm boys car
i dunno
he was a teacher or something
it's strange being this old
it's strange not giving a fuck

but laughter
plays off the changes in my brain
chemicals say
hey i LOVERS too
lets walk
lets take a break from this mechanical bull
there are real people
in this machine
i am
making out
w/ real human beings

but i am
kind of fat
& ded
& i feel famous in the backseat of taxis
when my taxi driver is hauling ass
i wish i could write the way
greenpaul writes
or other
beautiful poets
who invented all these gorgeous girls
who put
my job on me
i want to work on this poem for eight hours
i want to have sex w/ this poem

but i am alive
i wished i wasn't a few times
like when i was living in the duplex on 18th ave
& i started turning into a physical adult
& my dad treated me pretty badly
or idk
i guess i have nothing to compare it to

but i just want to write poetry
& about the puncture
in my swollen noggin
walking fast
slow waaaaay down
i am ded

but barely a breath bomb
alice notleys tomb
or words
or who forgot alice notleys name
was all over these poems
this fancy wall
w/ fancy paint
& i too am just a copymachine
or i too am JUSTIN RYAN FYFE

but you forgot me tomorrow
bc it's nice not being around
it's just great to feel hip bones
it's just great to keep my pants on
i am wearing tightish pants
i get swollen
i will vote for obama
i will dunk on obama
a trampoline in the white house
is the first porn site
i searched for
on my high school computer
when i was a freshman

but the river
debbie & i reading some play
maybe before christmas
i think we hung out on christmas eve
i was drunk
i was at duffys tavern
drinking in the snow or something
i can never remember
if their was any snow

but i am awkward
around beautiful women
& i think most women
make me awkward
it really sucks
i mean it really really sucks

but hey
what if i wasn't a rotting walkatron
watching tron
every night getting high
or always flying
time fries
i read that poem as time frying
i think this girl
i only know as someone on twitter
wrote this poem
abt time frying

but that isn't even what it said
i wish yoga moved me
or i wish soap moved me
or i wish wind blew me
i mean i wish i was
a toothy shark
a remodeled park
& happy 

but this night never happened
as far as i can remember

i guess i have been doing this wrong
w/ the gaps
w/ the hiding in the garage
when i fucked up my face
i mean it wasn't my fault
i am just so ugly
so gully alley gulls trash
i mean
to stretch the neck
& sniff
my scratched arm
my unpeeled sticker
lost it's stick

or i have been listening to maybe
too much pink floyd
& i read this alice notley poem
bc paul talks abt alice notley always
& i say man i sure do dig
paul's poem but who is this alice notley
& then i see brick
& was going to talk abt pink floyd
or i mean my similar thoughts
to pink floyd lyrics
but i will just type
or as if the bricks & concrete were enough themselves
but wall & wall & wall & wall
where is my home
where is my glass home
where is my weed pipe
where did you put all my treatments
i write poems abt everything
didn't you know
that this was going to happen

but nobody listens
to poetry
but kyle crawford doesn't dive
in the ocean
& i could write more
something long
like my hair
my dangling face
it is so soaked in drool every morning
i say it's a good thing
i am so alone

22 October 2012


i am not fucking w/ it enough
darktime eye bruise
sea of slimy grey see fight words written on
basement wall
who spray painted this on my body
perk yr red ears or i mean bluh eyes i mean who died
in here
cover nose
it smells like smashed fruit
echo my complaints against the basement wall
feel the mask rub against my nature face

she is an exotic type of apple or plum
my fingers are sticky
i cannot explain
why i am in love with this plant
or how do i look so naked
next to you 

time is frying by
my woods voice lodged between the heroin forest
& wrenching gut rot from the weeping tree
whipping post-modern-modern-all organic
poetry i don't get

& i am stuck here
in shut doors
where is my own earth to build
is anyone on the other side of this basement wall
am i pretty
can i still turn myself into a turned corner

most of the people i know are most of the people i know
i know
why my mad is getting stronger in the darkest water
they say murky
but i can't hear blurburburbs
but brrr it's moisture i can't complain abt
what i can't control

madness snaking through some fakesoul machine
gurgling up black paint
or something equally harmful
i eat rocks
i live in cave
i was in the marines i mean when i was in the marines
we tied snakes around our heads
& danced on top of a hill
singing abt pure despair

i am not a liar
i will not tell you fantasy numbers
like i was once two billion
who the fuck
says their own name at the basement wall
it is not so cold outside
i can't complain

it's almost a dark
it's not painful
there is no need to be a sweating somebody
on firebirds w/ capes of falling climbers
mad mad mad
in the summer
w/ the natural shape & length & where the light
makes my head look like nothing else
in the universe

i too can climb out of my tireless fear
the fucking world
is an ego
my buzzing bee-brain chases god shadows
through basement walls
my face equals concrete
or i can't afford to quit smoking cigarettes

counting toes or dead feet or the strength
in your ankles is because of stupid movements
that you don't think about
don't think about it
don't think
the way of a wave is an endless energy
trying to pull everything you need to survive
away from the only place you can survive
a fucking moon does this
or i dunno what magic exists
in space

god bless mud indeed
tall earth to push hella much
i can drink
mountain air
out of buxom cleaved rockies
stretch the spine out
into two billion gaps of look
i am a small silly ape
or some jacking-off selfmonster
going from star to dead star
my circumstance
of filling a life w/ several things

& the death of the self
& natural shapes still burning under weight
packing heat in layers of dark then light then darker
sucking out all the filler in my blood & other worthless things

the center of the solar system
the center of my solar system
the moon hangs like words
like worms
i am shit
i sleep slow
this poem is shit
i have to go somewhere at some point
pretty pretty fucking pretty things are in my eyes

19 October 2012

i am drinking water
but this is not a poem about water
now the water is gone
there is no water
& i drank all of the poem
before i could even
on top of the mountain
or no mountain is easy
when the ground is just tall
& the size of anything
is meaningless

the water is going
over a border of me to no me
& water is me or i am not made
there is no inside of me just unmapped
feel the grooves in the tongue on me
swim in the lakes of my body
my body
the water stays
& rises
& combines w/ me in me
small clouds
& rain
& rivers
all of this

what is blue is blue is not blue or my eyes
because only i ocean
or only i wash
these things that create a world
& are made to flood
or the air is drinking
the dry earth calls out
to my wetness
i mean a sea that surrounds me
i mean who can save you
from drowning
if you are

what did i do
for the all nothing
to wish me a definite
the endless everything
my wax
my form
willing to use up
what is already gone

i am thirsty
i can see nothing
or my eyes are watching my eyes
are not seeing
or every drip
i am taking
from one ocean
to put into another ocean
it is moving
or it is still
& it is still

16 October 2012


mossy ox
nudge on my branches
she's so flying
away she's
waiting for my 'nother

what is wrong w/ wanting lungthings
to unmelt
or the sparkling vis--
of stillburns in my see
from childing
at the confused eclipse
i guess

fell down a staircase in Prague
running from the tornado
caught my body on a nail
& my father watched the storm

my hush
lady or spider or godesssss
eat my soft
each nip
earlobes between yr pinched lip
i call you a trumpet

my ruca
she brass at the neck
a million
giraffes standing tall
top on skull of the other
& then i say something
about my beard
& your bed
& wasting away light

at my body
we go naked spit
seed into the ground
in the spring through late summer
the way i know there is nothing
a window
a watch

sting in the lungs
standing somewhere in the Rockies
think end of the world
is a healthy way to dull what we made

my mouth hangs
spell grey cloud as hair & home
forget to connect things
say how can i
be a poet w/ stamina
how can i exist
w/ the daytime

speak what mind thinks
about decay or setting
about loneliness in a galaxy
as memory of lost dogs
& names fade

there are millions of thems
& waterfalls on prairie
kiss the top of your head
bottom of your feet
i dunno what could
be better
than always

asked my grandpa the difference
between fir & pine & spruce
(to last is just a ghost)
& remember walking
w/ him & wanting so much

i don't die is something
so why am i
understand & unlimited & a tiny leather pouch
beautiful people 
or it gets dark early in october
every year

it still feels like five years ago or a million
it still tastes like bamboo
or spices from my birthplace
i can make dinner
i can make famous statues

i know which rock was used to stone
my fruit cage
was what i sang in the car at AM
because i was high on cocaine
or talk to you when works
are working
flood of my engine

you don't get the blood
you don't finish the drink
you don't pass
you don't hope for falling

i mean there are so many human beings
i can walk on shoulders
of demi-gods
& be no closer to the sunny-ist

two monks dance on the mountain
listen to the earth move beneath their feet
save nature
someone is talking
symbols & gutteral groans spew
who is telling this
who is writing all of this down
it is nonsense to think we can be fire

i am waving in the breeze
or i am animal now
prance gazelle & train my hawk to come back
to my outstretched bonemeat
about the humans

we look lazy as just blubber
shaking gold petals our our ears
& less swearing
& less i swear i am only drunk
off my own zerobeams

& enlightenment or glowy ass
all over money
or over everything
my mind is a time traveling monster

& the best is
we grow
& the best is
we grow taller & shrink & care & don't
& the best is i know how to surf
& the best is i am water

or ice
or we all are
or my buffalo cloak
& breakfast
& yr lean to pick pinecones from my face
sharkteeth dangle from my throat

15 October 2012


wash off
slow me
where the push
& prick
& cloud of blood
i does
for the lick muscle
we are infant deserts
my side
i too am afraid
of killing myself
of where i
the keys
to another hour
i do work
i do
you make
& then what
& then where
do your children's
it's crazy
it's a
new goner
load blow
put my lips
on ice
yr lake
a neck
peel bark
feel muscle
or is dying
i breathe
for them
a universe
in my skinny
pray on
loose hope
for she
& she & she
or life is just
so meaning

i wish i was born in Los Angeles
& only lived in Laos Angele's
& died in Leos angel es
& was resurrected in Lois Angles
& lived forever in Los Angeles

12 October 2012


sometimes you forget to eat
you wait for the feeling to pass
& go days before you see hunger
laying in it's own waste
curled fetal in the gutter

i don't know how many times
my brain has told me
"i like this"

& you know you are soon
an ink blot
in the corner
of some unread
stone art

at least have the
human decency
to be what everyone
wants from you
w/ your long spotty neck
stowed away
w/ all that falls

eventually nobody
will remember anything
we won't have a chance
to say what if
you didn't love cocaine

11 October 2012


would you travel through time if you could never actually interact with anyone ever again & time travel was real but you are like this time traveling ghost & basically dead.

if i had a ghost dad
if i had a ghost dad
he said he was the devil or something crazy

i used to sit in my room & listen to this tape where i recorded the long & winding road on repeat on side A & let it be on repeat on side B

i would sit in my room crying swaying back & forth like some wacko kid
i still do this
i think
in my head i still write little 4th grade poems

maybe i am a ghost
i would say
i haven't spoke to bottomless want
in awhile

pick me up
pull me from the ground please
carry me away to where birds go

the clouds they say
you can walk on them
but how

10 October 2012


& to write for strangers
the mask of word
left in split eye photos
back & forth to my i can fall for anything
you might not know
it says a warmth
to want something from someone other than yourself
i mean this poem
could be any poem
could be for anyone
but i wrote it for you & nothing
the source of glow
that exists on your face
i dont know
if a map would be useful

09 October 2012


& i am a godless
& i am animal now
running around w/ my hands in the pockets
of Holy Russia
on her mission
to milk color out of globeless eyesockets
i am lost
from the neck down
i am no demi-Buddha
i am no worthless roach
chill about your iceberg identity
we all ice
is errthang
errbody in the Motherland getting tipsy-
turvy i saw you swerve
w/ my life in yr hands
i guess
yr curvy words stabbing new planets
against the blackness of my infinity
i am so angry
about death
i am a shucked gem saver
bauble locker
i am one step slower
than my younger self
i will backpedal
into a sucking sand lagoon
everlasting poem-void
how can i exist
as a fucking star
if i can't write for you
my true words
racket under the exoskelly
of my chestbrain
has never even seen the sun
or i am lacking tanned insides
i lost myself
saying storms over & again
the day is forever
i am breathing
& stopped thinking about oxygen
so many mouths to fill
blind of the color of gasses freezing in the sky
of course i know what outter space is made of
my best friend is a burning demi-god
i choke down precious water
just so i can piss it into the ground
that will cover me
i grow
cherries again & over
a life or what is ahead
a whole new life
the shedding of my one second ago
dead memory of something that was only happy
in moments
where did this come from
why are there baby Buddhas growing out of my ears
my grandma used to bathe me
when i was very little
& then she died of cancer
i remember seeing my dad cry
at her funeral
god how many passions do i have
to have in one lifetime
like i am so excited
to barely hear your voice down my spine
wring the salty sweat from my marrow sun
core a trillion times hotter
than the surface of my blushed coat
they say you are crazy
why are you say crazy
is this my house w/ the pillowed walls
to protect my brain when i am
do not call me the past or the future
call me Tiger
run your fingers through my beard
i have been afraid
of drowning
for a long time now
i was born in the EIGHTIES
but i do not remember the EIGHTIES
i was in an egg
w/ so many small cracks
i could see the rest of the world
in small slivers
silver strands of dying parents head warmth
i could have gone too
so many times
i am a flame inside a greater flame
but only in size
or the wordburn from my sungod
she dances over me
i can hear the brown grass crackle
from down deep
in my midwest cave
in my job
in my terrible limitations of mortal form
look at my hands dance
from electro zaps
in a cushy sponge of forget its
what does GOMWYF stand for
what does I LOVE YOU stand for
what does NYC stand for
what does SMOKE EM IF YOU GOTTEM stand for
what does BARACK OBAMA stand for
what does GAR stand for
i am hardly making sense
i am hiding on one or the other side of a mirror
i am sorry i said i hate Mikey
i do not hate Mikey
i mean i am sorry i texted i hate Mikey
i do not hate Mikey
not even when he thinks he can beat Moss & I at FIFA forever
or i don't even remember the beerpong teams
if there were teams
i know
i can't keep going on & over about a single hidden Pearl
tucked away somewhere deep in the world wide web
where is my wife
or why do i have one
or when did the world become a TV show
i don't think anyone is watching
such a small fizzle
cheap firework
newborn infant galaxy bomb
truth bombs
where i relax my throat & wipe the cold sweat off my hands
just humming
some song i made up
about our whole lives in each moment of time
i don't think
i will ever be able to explain
unless i am doing it
just do it
& maybe everything ends
& maybe the average human is infinitely beautiful
& every second of our life is equal to a zillion dog lives
lets talk
lets wake up before anything warms
& me
& me & me
& i guess the world would be nicer still
if it was a blasted moon
if i was a busted boy floating for always
in my own wasteland
my sooncorpse growing out of your garden
shy & pink
slathered in the sweet soil of my return
no god
i will want to burn
i will want to be dust on the unused furniture
the voiceless artifacts
of lost time
& money
& everything
slowly cooking in the freezing artic waters
what about that
what about your gorgeous planet
what about the other gases in our air
that we never think are essential
my beard w/ no fingers through it
no running
straight into oblivian
like 16 year old Paul Hanson Clark
jizzing in his pants
because the world is his oyster
or some other sexy
godspray of shimmering nothings
that we can only see
when it is cold as hell
shrinking our baller brains
into unreadable names on rice
i have never put my hands in wet cement
but i am pretty sure
my hands have always been this small
wrapped around my fathers head
who is not yet dead
carrying me around like a giant child
knowing that i will never die

08 October 2012

the bloodmilk fat because where high & rising

05 October 2012


in my next life
my voice will be an elefant
i will remember
to make my heart strong
before i poison it
who ordered the loud drink
i am in danger
my naked body
is falling into disrepair
if i were a beautiful corvette

03 October 2012


pure money
assloads of cash
words out of my mouth
after you hate me
after i fucked up
i fucked
there is a big zero on my dick
i mean head
i mean the thing that makes me think
my chest is also an oven
enlarged heart
pictures of peoples organs
after they fucked up too
i wish i still had a car
i feel like Heath Ledger on his deathbed maybe
but i mean i dunno what it's like to be so sad
i never get massages
i hope i don't win any awards after i die
if i do
& what i mean is
on the inside i am just crystal
on the inside i have one climate
on the inside i am an endless meatball sub
on the inside there is a white hole from a universe of infinite poetry
wouldn't that be

do you care about the other side of a wall
or in SP CE at the same time
but unable
to gravity

i remember yr legs were lost
s'd chopped off
so the goverment
would stop their expirments

i have a lot of time on my hands
to wander
like a wobbly toy boy
drunk off his own infinity

will you wait for me in the desert
while i blast my brain w/ crystalized air
hogging the oasis
for all of your children's children

02 October 2012


i didn't do that
to yr hands

can you pass me
the bottle

i don't use
my body anymore

i am retarded

i don't puton make-up

when i say retarded
i mean like

no, i don't head a helmet

yes, all my grandparents are in ground

kiss my eyes

i am damp & illness

your definition of worthless

i have friends in places

height & depth varies only slightly

bottom of ocean

cost my life

because the human isn't built for so much pressure

i have lost a billion fish

a small number of socks in the platte river

maybe just a pair to grow

there are more

i don't know how the moon works

quit moon's day job

does a floaty death dance w/ knee jerks
that you don't notice
bc it doesn't have legs

used to take walks w/ the sun tho

likes long beaches

my technology things are afraid of me

when i am drunk

beached whale w/ man inside

i want to hold  you on a wave

i want to keep a picture of you

from the year 2000

do you remember any poem i wrote

before i stopped talking to you

& what now
& why all the decay

i cannot continue to measure my selfworth
by how long people can stand
to be in love w/ me

my aura

you don't look at one star
& say it is ugly

if i weigh more than ocean
can it still crush me

does it want to?