MY FACE



i will never be
the storm howling from infinity
directions to a home
i am not here
like zen
half a poet
or half a mouth of teeth
but what if i
am shark
am shark
am shark etc...

but i just got a flat skull
my brain is worthless
i mean it is worth
nothing to me
bc i do not believe in the god of my parents
who borrowed their god from other people
they are dead
i do not believe in alice notley
for completely different reasons

but lets wake up
naked
& uneven
& what liquid is this
we are just lightbulbs too
put in by ourselves
i love
& hate how
& time
we are drinking our drippy
hands
like i am
holding on

but the moon has sex
& hope
& thinks its nice
to be around all of us
i guess
her belly is growing
there is a dust ring around her head
i think
she says
i am drunk
& i will do these things to hurt you

but it makes waves
& i was built to surf
& fall apart
at the cock
elbow
rusting knuckles
my spit fly
what do i own
why did i just
buy this
body

but text
is my lightning storm i lied
i am a liar
among other things
a monster
mocker
wanting to slow cook
fuck poems
fuck poets
i mean
you know
like stick my blood packed dong
into the new yorkers whatever
i mean
mouth
& forgotten that i was once plugged in

but you don't sniff
coke off
the trunk of a dirty car
farm boys car
i dunno
he was a teacher or something
it's strange being this old
kid
it's strange not giving a fuck
about

but laughter
plays off the changes in my brain
chemicals say
hey i LOVERS too
idk
lets walk
lets take a break from this mechanical bull
there are real people
in this machine
i am
making out
w/ real human beings

but i am
kind of fat
& ded
& i feel famous in the backseat of taxis
when my taxi driver is hauling ass
i wish i could write the way
greenpaul writes
or other
beautiful poets
who invented all these gorgeous girls
who put
my job on me
i want to work on this poem for eight hours
i want to have sex w/ this poem

but i am alive
i wished i wasn't a few times
like when i was living in the duplex on 18th ave
& i started turning into a physical adult
& my dad treated me pretty badly
or idk
i guess i have nothing to compare it to

but i just want to write poetry
& about the puncture
in my swollen noggin
joggin
walking fast
slow waaaaay down
i am ded

but barely a breath bomb
alice notleys tomb
or words
or who forgot alice notleys name
was all over these poems
this fancy wall
w/ fancy paint
& i too am just a copymachine
or i too am JUSTIN RYAN FYFE

but you forgot me tomorrow
bc it's nice not being around
me
idk
it's just great to feel hip bones
it's just great to keep my pants on
i am wearing tightish pants
i get swollen
i will vote for obama
i will dunk on obama
w/
a trampoline in the white house
whitehouse.com
is the first porn site
i searched for
on my high school computer
when i was a freshman

but the river
laughter
debbie & i reading some play
maybe before christmas
i think we hung out on christmas eve
i was drunk
i was at duffys tavern
drinking in the snow or something
i can never remember
if their was any snow

but i am awkward
around beautiful women
& i think most women
make me awkward
it really sucks
i mean it really really sucks

but hey
what if i wasn't a rotting walkatron
watching tron
every night getting high
or always flying
time fries
i read that poem as time frying
i think this girl
i only know as someone on twitter
wrote this poem
abt time frying

but that isn't even what it said
i wish yoga moved me
or i wish soap moved me
or i wish wind blew me
i mean i wish i was
a toothy shark
a remodeled park
& happy 

but this night never happened
as far as i can remember

i guess i have been doing this wrong
w/ the gaps
w/ the hiding in the garage
when i fucked up my face
i mean it wasn't my fault
i am just so ugly
so gully alley gulls trash
i mean
to stretch the neck
& sniff
my scratched arm
my unpeeled sticker
lost it's stick

or i have been listening to maybe
too much pink floyd
& i read this alice notley poem
bc paul talks abt alice notley always
& i say man i sure do dig
paul's poem but who is this alice notley
babe
& then i see brick
& was going to talk abt pink floyd
or i mean my similar thoughts
to pink floyd lyrics
but i will just type
or as if the bricks & concrete were enough themselves
but wall & wall & wall & wall
where is my home
where is my glass home
where is my weed pipe
where did you put all my treatments
i write poems abt everything
didn't you know
that this was going to happen

but nobody listens
to poetry
but kyle crawford doesn't dive
in the ocean
& i could write more
something long
like my hair
my dangling face
it is so soaked in drool every morning
i say it's a good thing
i am so alone