BEAR DATE



deflated honey luggage
words to say
when bymyself names the doubtcub
hi how are u
lady
i'm a scurried brown bear
buried in his winter bundle
can i take u
for a candle dinner
i caught these trout
in the river

LUNCH


rub diced red onions on my lips
i believe i am a slime perfect
drink water off yr body
from yr wrung hair
i am the dirt
i am crazy the way a wild goat is crazy
if it had a human brain
that has been punched
as much as mine
munching white rice
i was drunk
& shocked
by the billion bubbles between us
nothings there
now air is my distance
what can i tell you
that isn't already on my tongue
i crumble easy
a magnet to blue mountains
what do i have to do
to again to again to again you
anything
& i am ok w/ that

MY THIRD CHIPOTLE POEM



i am making inkblots
in this chipotle napkin w/ my tears
i went to chipotle for lunch
on my lunch break
a cop held the door for me
& i was high
& i said thank you so much

SELF PORTRAIT



i


suck

HUMPDAY




thankyou thankyou thankyou
i want to smell yr hair
thankyou for coming
i wish i was as gorgeous as everyone i see
thankyou for these faces
I SEE I SEE I SEE
thankyou for that
it is hard to honestly puke
i am puking
thankyou
i feel so intense right now in my vibrating brain
keep punching me
bust up my broosed lunaticky tack complainathon
why i am so sad
thankyou for almost staying
bc i drink & drink & do things in songs say
feel me this way
smoke yr dope this way
goodmorning myself my lazy fuck up
thankyou for keeping me alive
hold on to the wall w suction of my concave chest
my naked dick in the mirror
thankyou
i am always stupid
i am animal
plantain paid
shot to the moon as a test of some rich fuck
give me all the bananas
watch me peel the entire earths supply of bananas
& stuff them into my mouth
as many as i can fit at one time
& eventually i will die
here or in some other place
thankyou for the bananas
thankyou for holding my hand for an extended period of time
thankyou for making eyecontact
thankyou for planting my guts in the soil like a seed
of some beautiful banana forest
what is left of me is for you & for everyone

hold my hand for an extended period of time
pull my arm through cell gaps of your frame
so my beard hangs down your shoulders

i am afraid of being here
a pile of leaves left all winter
under the sog shit snow

i am drunk here for you to obliterate

MY FALL BACK FROM CRAZY LAND IS THE PURE VOID




somebody stop me
i'm doing it for booty
for yellow zoot slop hand
scribble book sliding off mattress
so i can get back to this hogpen
of my real life job crap
grabbed by the money sack
for lucky charms sogged in milk
dangle sugar spunk on my neck
like glistening pearls
like the part of the baby
that was once inside of yr body
yr duplicated brain
chugs the pump
saying nice tits to every girl you touch
bc yr mother died or idk what crimes
yr life has bludgeoned yr skull w/
i want bukowski to poem into bed w/ me
& read me his poetry
& mind to mind to crazy
i am unused adderal crushed on a glass surface
take my face off
shining
wave the flag of my ugly at nations
washed off turds
munch my mushed fruit juice for hours
my teeth flying parade candy haphazardly
into rosy slime paws of tiny adults
in jets kamikazed towards the himalayas
the closest star reflected off cold water
wrong words drip paste rolling from my globes
everyone in my family is blind
even paul's eyes are tired of working on light
& the bitter end of seeing the foul pole
wave in the wind blowing
i tried to destroy my vision
specks of grass & squinting 
because i felt weird being able to see
i am a dripping blur
a fuzzy whimperballoon boy
the lacking focus of tom cruise snowboarding in his nearly dead dreams
& he jumps off that building &
i guess you wake up
in yr second life
so happy birthday to my friends who don't miss me
who kiss the good side of my face
in the club
yr boyfriend is drunk
& stumbling into the wall
i mean i am drunk hanging from the ceiling fan
at this house party
screaming oh darling
when we are strays in foggy chicago
moaning underwater
like horny whales
like peanut teachers
wah wah
just do it
getting things done in the morning
my nibble sews a line of you
yr bacon sizzling my skilletted fatshine
haze of blue dust between sunny & night & idk
what the hell time is
i am a simpled man
i am a golden squid too or a stupid caught killer whale
dancing for ocean treats
collecting shark teeth
or i am the least of all things
grazing
a moment
kissing the cool wall of morning
love you for breakfast
my clenched gap puffing a forget
a drool of swimming leaks
all over & my beard is growing while i sleep
& while i am awake
from falling on smell of yr tired laying there
in last nights dress
in a future where penelope cruz
has been dead for over a century
& paul went to sleep or something
& it's so early in the morning
good gravy
i am an empty well of sunshine lady
a nearly 29 year old goo guy 
weeping on his friends couch
because mega rich tom cruise
is acting like a mega rich guy
who just found out his heart is broken
but at least he bought his own heaven
& send me gifts of good things in my brain
when i started poems
when i decided i liked monet for some reason
the way it seemed real when i touched a million hands
w/ my tongue lapping cool magma
out of my smouldering husk of a past life
my whole life is ahead of me
inched over my bronze shoudlers
i lava i errupt demigod to the touch i am shaking boulders
jiggling tips of my piano fingers over yr nerves
text me
just say you aren't showering
just tell me the nicest nothing for nobody
tug on my beard
slug in my drums so yr sound plants symphonies in my blood
i will hold things for you while you chop yr knives
i will wrap around your whole body in winter
take off your shoes
put yr overworked feet in my mouth
i am starving

i wonder if i like the ironman movies more bc they come out the same weekend as my birthday

i think yes

they became cowboys & left you
i barely slept
maybe 2 hours at most
in a daze
jealous of yr nap
everyone should try to be crazy
fuck i bear slept
all through the sunless winter
i sd i wanted to go to the cave
i sd i didn't want to go to the rave
as it plays at my friends house
sorry iam losing focus
i am a sleepy bear & paul went to sleep
right before things get real in vanilla sky
& i shit poets out of my eyes
like you for breakfast

story


man has unspecified terminal illness/unspecified painful condition


takes many pills


experiences life in dream state


takes train

EARLY

PULP

i am a measley mump
a chump
a thudding convulsive muscle mag 
mayne u rust the grille of ol st louis
who got shot
who sings parot seed chuck crack
why do the bartenders tend to hate my
sleazy tooth tips through soft fruit flesh
hi i am drunk at krug
hi i am looking for cocaine
hi i am in washed laundry
where did my friends turn into friendships
boatbuds slowdown chug
the cup
my buttery toast
my toady chest buldge
i breathe crazy
huff dust of goldy haha
lockjaw to jaw for bigger boatshoe sock date
sorry i am so sloppy
i dream stupid abt yr dying and my dying
i am so moist 
i am so choose yr own slobber dodger
i em electro nude
glued to my teeth w teeth and fake me
i am faking this cum of me
my pefect baby in me
my me me me
i love it when you stab my lungs
w yr spear
ur an olympian
ur breaking records in my brainstem
i tree you
i am growing fruit
i am turning yr poisonous mouth into
something useful

i am not sure
why you call me
to say things we both know
general praise of past
weak from tequila drinks
the common things we remember
when we're naked
or getting there
because we know we're getting there

SNOWPOCALYPSE



what if it snows too much
what if i don't go to omaha
what if i don't read poems w/ paul & alisa
weather is a pain & also it is sad
that weather pains me
because it affects things
like how much it sucks
going to work in a blizzard
when i don't have a car
because i drove drunk
a lot
but got caught once & then i fell
in love w/ this mean girl
& gave her my gold volvo
& she ruined it & moved to pennsylvania
snow is pretty
i like snow when it is dying
in puddles of its self melting
everything is snow
it is paul's birthday today
happy valentines day
i hate winter
i sit inside & miss the sun
& i drink & i grow my beard
this winter has lasted two years
i am melting
i am something that farmers are happy to see
i grew up in nebraska
i am a farmer
i have tractors where most humans have biceps
or i have soft hands
i write poetry abt how difficult my life is when it snows
i have a sore ankle
i am overweight
i am the future
in the future there is a lot of snow
in the future the snow will melt
in the future i will read this poem
in the future this poem will melt
in the future i will melt
in the future you will melt
in the future we all melt
& we are all a melty goop

A MAD FUCKING PANIC


always spin tongue spit
give you anything
in my hands
loogie of a sticky shoe squawk
i am walker too long trip
waxed woodwork sugar grip
of cliff face skydunk
my hanging by necksway til liquid is me
& all ice my friends glisten like fresh kindey
& all my ankles buckled in the greenery
in shift of breeze & rainrip
a gentle mountain push
grow my milky danders & daisy mudword
water slosh when i slop on you
w/ my falling torsowave
& sift through my twisted stand here
mirror the moon to swim dry crickbed
there is no gold for me here
or i am a fool w/ exaggerated ocean teeth
locked in saltrock for part of always
until i am crushed by crushing
weight of where my warm gushes
a forehead a knuckle & other useful bludgeons
to take a crack at crumbling distance
or the sun isn't the only star in the sky
but she is & my thinking turns ray into lava
like this buzzing dandy of bees-knee's
coats my talkabout w/ drizzled honey
i can smell patchouli betwixt my ears
a vacuum of you & youth & always leaping
i know i am no man
but my hands are still unshaken ice
mound movers or i am a shoulder for earth's lover
away from throat nifty knockout
my slow & crossed brain
by events of wall to my skully block chip
break in blood aged natural frozen
chambers pumping w/o my thudder knows
how she crawls inside of my constantly
disappearing cells & then new me is magic me
or call me tiger & listen to purring
thunder of my finely tuned dagger drags
the plow of tilly grown crater throws a fit
a dart across the galaxy w/ boulder brow
curled over my head leather
i can only see you glowing curve
my body is as warm as most bodies
but i guess i will go into wander night
be cold & breathing deviltail boy
growing long face w/o the help of shining

the mississippi river

i don't normal bleed
more easy
feel hollow stomach pinch
while body groans exaggerated
noises i don't listen
echo between the marrow & saltrock
that you put inside me
to fill w/ sediment & faceless prey
an odor mellows my void
wades kneedeep in my own fluid
stand still for you
to slide your hand inside of me
& remove what you left
as it grows
i want to hold it close
to the machines that make me work
let it boom into a new thing

LOOSER

get over me
monica lewjetski
i am a horse of a different oo lala
yr marketing my research
i lost my business in the wash
again
i'm so gravy
pushing inside-out body
onto the beach
we go sand walking
we sink to our ankles
this is a whirrl
i have tattoos to show you
i tell my coworkers
this burn will become
a luxurious tan

LOOSER

POEM


give me all yr $$$

LEAKY TEETH



we used to hold needles
against us &
again i am a liar who won't say
my mouth is glass
i have grown in directions
my feeble fir mind
ringed w/ disease & cauliflowered lips
won't kiss the air
quiet murm buzz off dangled chin
cope w/ not knowing sky
laws of prelumbering life
alien through crater moss
to neck yr nest carry
branched arms & pierced sun reachers
loosen grin under hill shadow
of mice & cone & chisled jaw

BLUEBERRY

i am something stranger
ashamed of my razor dulled over
wave surfed against whaled beaches
in silly storm i watch
the arms of my childhood
break against rock & my sloppy talk
i want to be worth a look
each piece of my listed problems
glued by my language of zero
ran out of this bullshit time
my awkward squawk rings futile
buried by thunder of moved air

MILK

i am full of fake sugar

i have the longest neck

but i am not crying abt it

there are so many silly words

on my mindtongue right now

i finger space or whimper

in the mirror abt my falling

apart body that has punched

me & punched me & punched

me & me & me

i am working on my body

i fell in love at chipotle again

but this time she works there

& this time she jumped into

my arms or idk where i am

right now i guess i am full

of fake sugar to make my

body do work the way

kobe does work or i mean

nobody will ever be michael

jordan but i wanna be like

mike i wanna play horse

against larry bird & hope

the moon is as exciting

as i want it to be a room

w/ no air or an enormous

closet that i hide in when

silly words dance in my brain

i am busted my neck is

stretched longer than giraffe

girl or giraffe boy i gotta

think of a better way to get

that high hanging fruit out

out of this goddamn tree

WHAT'S GOOSE?

how is yr neck so in love w my eyes
do you walk backwards into bus traffic
can i smell yr hat
when will i be able to hover over the indian ocean
in an alien made craft
how well do you know me by reading poetry
what was that beat that shook the soup out of my lungs
did you forget to dance my spine
will you watch my bare shoulders while i
put dust back on them

RE:

know ankle damage
of running & make
excuses out of snow piss language
my name 
my name
my name
my name
i doubt
i can handle being in my brain
don't memory me
the time i have is covered in faces
i go
run wall off dock wave naked wind
the nothing can't come
in weeks or paychecks
feel dowsed
but i took off my gasoline suit
to feel Kurt Cobain's skullsound
fill the pores of body
i sponge against searock
cold of deep 
somebody shotgunned my land
floating bits of all swimmers
you don't know what box fits me
or who walks in my shoes
a quitter
a crying dog
i smell alive today 

wall punch bruises
on piano slenders for hammer
feel warmth of my body
through anger
& liquor in my body
my brain is on fire
it screams at me