i
think
about
shooting
my brains
out
every
day
30 December 2011
24 December 2011
22 December 2011
19 December 2011
Kim Jong-Il is dead
aka RIP KIM
for kim jong-il
wait i
wasn't done yet i
wanted to paint a picture
of my
explosive chestbrain
all my
smarts in my
tingling toes and fingers
they called me
the great white palm reader
i could
write a novel with my eyes closed
but please
don't forgive a goddamn word
forget me
no, please
forget me
project some shadow chaos in my
wake, unnamed ghost
with no
voice
only the winking sounds
of dice clattering in my
skull
my friends
keep warm in the coming winter
stay closest to fresh water
and always
question the aching void
i have left you
aka RIP KIM
for kim jong-il
wait i
wasn't done yet i
wanted to paint a picture
of my
explosive chestbrain
all my
smarts in my
tingling toes and fingers
they called me
the great white palm reader
i could
write a novel with my eyes closed
but please
don't forgive a goddamn word
forget me
no, please
forget me
project some shadow chaos in my
wake, unnamed ghost
with no
voice
only the winking sounds
of dice clattering in my
skull
my friends
keep warm in the coming winter
stay closest to fresh water
and always
question the aching void
i have left you
16 December 2011
love poem
flex your eye muscles
stretching the pale parts of your body
around the receding view
of things like light
and all matter
my heart thing
all of my ideas are being pulled out of my brain
like dimes clanking up the metal tube of a vacuum
machine
chattering my teeth together in the cold
shaking so violently you can hear my skin
ruffle
until my limbs react to the line of suns streaming past
and i break into some prehistoric space dance
until every part of my body
is a billion miles away from you
flex your eye muscles
stretching the pale parts of your body
around the receding view
of things like light
and all matter
my heart thing
all of my ideas are being pulled out of my brain
like dimes clanking up the metal tube of a vacuum
machine
chattering my teeth together in the cold
shaking so violently you can hear my skin
ruffle
until my limbs react to the line of suns streaming past
and i break into some prehistoric space dance
until every part of my body
is a billion miles away from you
15 December 2011
antler
for the pity love
my short sight to the stubs of my hooves
grinded down from awkward pawing
limestone worn away from years of blasting sand
high winds over great plains
watching each and every one of you
drop like bison
don't even hear the train pass
speeding steel cock
put your head down on the endles line
away from here
expanding space will only stretch things
so the rearview mirror says
as long as you can see me
i will never leave you
to a semi or some cross country thing
thinks the greener must be here
or if i haven't found love
in the arms of these beasts
perhaps i should try another
so pick up my head from the buzzing rail
wait for the raging storm
wait for the horns of my metal death
so all the other deer
watch
for the pity love
my short sight to the stubs of my hooves
grinded down from awkward pawing
limestone worn away from years of blasting sand
high winds over great plains
watching each and every one of you
drop like bison
don't even hear the train pass
speeding steel cock
put your head down on the endles line
away from here
expanding space will only stretch things
so the rearview mirror says
as long as you can see me
i will never leave you
to a semi or some cross country thing
thinks the greener must be here
or if i haven't found love
in the arms of these beasts
perhaps i should try another
so pick up my head from the buzzing rail
wait for the raging storm
wait for the horns of my metal death
so all the other deer
watch
eat your heart out craig ehlo
i feel as if i am listening to thousands of drunk ohioans
screaming through four feet of water
your entire life is a road game that you need to win
the rest of your life is in front of you
they call it a playoff run
when you are the one leaping into the air after a buzzer beater
not scurrying back to lifes locker rooms
lonely stone pitty parties
make a million bucks and lose everything
in the face of so many famous halls
where are you today craig ehlo?
wondering how you can stop a madman
know that you will never love a human being
who can shoot over you
i feel as if i am listening to thousands of drunk ohioans
screaming through four feet of water
your entire life is a road game that you need to win
the rest of your life is in front of you
they call it a playoff run
when you are the one leaping into the air after a buzzer beater
not scurrying back to lifes locker rooms
lonely stone pitty parties
make a million bucks and lose everything
in the face of so many famous halls
where are you today craig ehlo?
wondering how you can stop a madman
know that you will never love a human being
who can shoot over you
14 December 2011
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW FOR ANNETTE
1. would you say writing poetry is more like shaking hands, dancing, or watching a movie?
2. what is the best movie you have ever seen in theater and why?
3. when you order coffee at a coffee joint what do you usually ask for?
4. what purpose does poetry have in your life?
5. do you feel that you are able to communciate creatively easier than through typical conversation?
6. what do you think about the phrase "poetry is not a weapon"?
7. how old were you when you started smoking?
8. what would you want people to know about you or your poetry?
9. have you ever been on a sail boat?
10. have you ever thought about changing the colors of your blog?
11. how many tattoos do you have and what will be the next one?
12. what are you going to school for?
13. how many q-tips do you use to clean out ear wax in one ear?
14. what or who first got you interested in poetry? what year was that approx?
15. how many dates have you gone on through internet dating sites and what was the worst/funniest date?
2. what is the best movie you have ever seen in theater and why?
3. when you order coffee at a coffee joint what do you usually ask for?
4. what purpose does poetry have in your life?
5. do you feel that you are able to communciate creatively easier than through typical conversation?
6. what do you think about the phrase "poetry is not a weapon"?
7. how old were you when you started smoking?
8. what would you want people to know about you or your poetry?
9. have you ever been on a sail boat?
10. have you ever thought about changing the colors of your blog?
11. how many tattoos do you have and what will be the next one?
12. what are you going to school for?
13. how many q-tips do you use to clean out ear wax in one ear?
14. what or who first got you interested in poetry? what year was that approx?
15. how many dates have you gone on through internet dating sites and what was the worst/funniest date?
10 December 2011
rain deaths
you are an animal
howling at a floating beach
while time traveling sci fi types surf galaxies
where do your solar systems fit in your skull
see all these sneaky cats screwing in the fog
while i am stuck in wicker park in the rain
bright lights of the saturday bars bleed together
or i am following you to my apartment
on our bikes down the path you take
i still can't get that rain off me
or the sight of moon waves and sun waves
sprawled onto the pillow next to me
out of my brain
i am sleeping in
i am soaked head to toe
don't tell me things can work out
people are dying from rain in south america
i am dying from rain on the great plains
or no rain and i am still dying
being crushed by larger and larger wallops
trying to keep me from all this laying in bed
eating krab and being drunk
reminds me
that i don't give a shit about getting wet
there are clouds and then there is moon
and then there is the rest of the galaxay etc.
i won't even shout this time
you are an animal
howling at a floating beach
while time traveling sci fi types surf galaxies
where do your solar systems fit in your skull
see all these sneaky cats screwing in the fog
while i am stuck in wicker park in the rain
bright lights of the saturday bars bleed together
or i am following you to my apartment
on our bikes down the path you take
i still can't get that rain off me
or the sight of moon waves and sun waves
sprawled onto the pillow next to me
out of my brain
i am sleeping in
i am soaked head to toe
don't tell me things can work out
people are dying from rain in south america
i am dying from rain on the great plains
or no rain and i am still dying
being crushed by larger and larger wallops
trying to keep me from all this laying in bed
eating krab and being drunk
reminds me
that i don't give a shit about getting wet
there are clouds and then there is moon
and then there is the rest of the galaxay etc.
i won't even shout this time
08 December 2011
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW FOR ANTHONY VANDENBERG
1. how do you think being an Eagle Scout has affected your life as an adult??
2. if you could be a character from any movie or video game who would you be and why?
3. what was your last vivid dream?
4. do your dreams make you think about your life, or do you conjure any creativity from them?
5. do you write? if so what? if not, what would you like to write about?
6. best place to eat in vermont and what to order.
7. list your top five favorite beers.
8. do you ever respond to things with creative expression? if not, how do you respond to things like strong emotions?
9. what was your fave halloween costume, and what ideas for future costumes do you have?
10. how do you think the time you have spent in vermont and south dakota has changed your view of the world?
11. what are your goals over the next five years?
12. if you were a super hero, where would you live and what would your super hero name be?
13. which character from heroes do you associate w the most?
14. how do you think your relationship with your father and brother had an impact on who you were as a younger anthony compared to who you are now that you live so far from them?
15. do people in vermont ask you to take off your shirt and show them your body?
2. if you could be a character from any movie or video game who would you be and why?
3. what was your last vivid dream?
4. do your dreams make you think about your life, or do you conjure any creativity from them?
5. do you write? if so what? if not, what would you like to write about?
6. best place to eat in vermont and what to order.
7. list your top five favorite beers.
8. do you ever respond to things with creative expression? if not, how do you respond to things like strong emotions?
9. what was your fave halloween costume, and what ideas for future costumes do you have?
10. how do you think the time you have spent in vermont and south dakota has changed your view of the world?
11. what are your goals over the next five years?
12. if you were a super hero, where would you live and what would your super hero name be?
13. which character from heroes do you associate w the most?
14. how do you think your relationship with your father and brother had an impact on who you were as a younger anthony compared to who you are now that you live so far from them?
15. do people in vermont ask you to take off your shirt and show them your body?
07 December 2011
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW THAT WAS GIVEN BY DEBBIE HU TO ME IE I ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS
1. how important do you think writer's group has been in keeping you committed to writing poetry?
i dont think that it is as important in that aspect as it is in keeping me committed to transitioning my writing and the learning process of discussion.
2. who do you most want to read your poems and like them?
human beings
3. do you feel like you have a good sense of what bad poetry is like?
no not really. i like to think that if one person in the world has a reaction from your poem then you have written a good poem. i dont really believe that but i would like to.
4. do you ever feel like you're "faking it" when you write? like e.g. a note or a birthday card, like it's so easy to write something that will delight the other person, there doesn't even have to be any feeling behind it.
no
5. what's the thing you worry about most when you write?
"can i keep this going"
6. do you have particular goals for yourself, writingwise, like either in terms of daily writing time or writing amount or longer term projects?
no, i never plan writing. usually something just starts going through my mind and eventually i start writing a poem in my head and then i pull out my iphone 4 and tap away.
7. what do you think about grad school?
i would love the oppurtunity to go to grad school to be in the academic scene again. i miss that. i also want to teach poetry so i guess i have to sorta.
8. would you rather be funny but not poignant or poignant but not funny (but not like in the "cute" slightly derisive way that poignant is said in "how poignant," just actually poignant)?
i would rather be funny
9. i heard your photograph was once in a book called "look at this fucking hipster." i think that's pretty sweet.
yeah...
10. who are your favorite poets?
raymond carver, william c williams, paul clark, jack spicer, gary snyder, franz wright, ernest hemingway, robert creeley, and reggie miller
11. have you ever written a "political poem?"
yes. i wrote a poem about a fictional brother of barack obama in 2k11
i dont think that it is as important in that aspect as it is in keeping me committed to transitioning my writing and the learning process of discussion.
2. who do you most want to read your poems and like them?
human beings
3. do you feel like you have a good sense of what bad poetry is like?
no not really. i like to think that if one person in the world has a reaction from your poem then you have written a good poem. i dont really believe that but i would like to.
4. do you ever feel like you're "faking it" when you write? like e.g. a note or a birthday card, like it's so easy to write something that will delight the other person, there doesn't even have to be any feeling behind it.
no
5. what's the thing you worry about most when you write?
"can i keep this going"
6. do you have particular goals for yourself, writingwise, like either in terms of daily writing time or writing amount or longer term projects?
no, i never plan writing. usually something just starts going through my mind and eventually i start writing a poem in my head and then i pull out my iphone 4 and tap away.
7. what do you think about grad school?
i would love the oppurtunity to go to grad school to be in the academic scene again. i miss that. i also want to teach poetry so i guess i have to sorta.
8. would you rather be funny but not poignant or poignant but not funny (but not like in the "cute" slightly derisive way that poignant is said in "how poignant," just actually poignant)?
i would rather be funny
9. i heard your photograph was once in a book called "look at this fucking hipster." i think that's pretty sweet.
yeah...
10. who are your favorite poets?
raymond carver, william c williams, paul clark, jack spicer, gary snyder, franz wright, ernest hemingway, robert creeley, and reggie miller
11. have you ever written a "political poem?"
yes. i wrote a poem about a fictional brother of barack obama in 2k11
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW FOR DEBBIE HU
1. how long have you considered yourself a writer, and do you think you will ever not be a writer?
2. did you watch a lot of cartoons growing up? which ones?
3. what do you want to be when you grow up?
4. do you think the movie wall-e provides a healthy view of love or the emotions related to the idea of love or an unhealthy view of how to devote yourself to something/someone to avoid loneliness?
5. if youc ould be any president of the united states past or pres who would it be and why?
6. list your favorite Beatles in order best to worst.
7. what do you think about having a conversation through art?
8 how do you think traveling affects your writing?
9. what is your favorite sport to play/watch?
10. have you ever thought about jumping from a moving car?
11. did you know that the owners of Little Debbie Snacks are 7th day adventists? and what is your favorite Little Debbie snack?
12. have you ever thrown up in public?
13. name as many bodies of water you have swam in that you can remember.
14. what is your favorite city on earth that you have been in.
15. in three sentences describe the role writing has in your life.
2. did you watch a lot of cartoons growing up? which ones?
3. what do you want to be when you grow up?
4. do you think the movie wall-e provides a healthy view of love or the emotions related to the idea of love or an unhealthy view of how to devote yourself to something/someone to avoid loneliness?
5. if youc ould be any president of the united states past or pres who would it be and why?
6. list your favorite Beatles in order best to worst.
7. what do you think about having a conversation through art?
8 how do you think traveling affects your writing?
9. what is your favorite sport to play/watch?
10. have you ever thought about jumping from a moving car?
11. did you know that the owners of Little Debbie Snacks are 7th day adventists? and what is your favorite Little Debbie snack?
12. have you ever thrown up in public?
13. name as many bodies of water you have swam in that you can remember.
14. what is your favorite city on earth that you have been in.
15. in three sentences describe the role writing has in your life.
06 December 2011
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW FOR PAUL CLARK
1. have your new hip specks lowered your desire to wear shades??
2. do you think pres Obama will be re-elected???
3. what was your last tweet?
4. in 140 char. or less plz describe your poetry writing process.
5. what sports figure has had the greatest impact on your writing?
6. would you switch lives with Tom Cruise starting now?
7. if there was only one word you could say for the rest of your life what would it be and would you ever use it in a poem?
8. on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you relate to Will Hunting from the hit comedy "Goodwill Hunting"?
9. what about Ben Aflacks brother Casey?
10. what about the T.A.?
11. what about Robin Williams painting of the man in the boat?
12. have you ever dunked on a short hoop?
13. how has your straight edge lifestyle affected your poetry?
14. do you usually write poems straight through or do you piece them together?
15. if you could bring back tupac or biggy who would it be and why?
2. do you think pres Obama will be re-elected???
3. what was your last tweet?
4. in 140 char. or less plz describe your poetry writing process.
5. what sports figure has had the greatest impact on your writing?
6. would you switch lives with Tom Cruise starting now?
7. if there was only one word you could say for the rest of your life what would it be and would you ever use it in a poem?
8. on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you relate to Will Hunting from the hit comedy "Goodwill Hunting"?
9. what about Ben Aflacks brother Casey?
10. what about the T.A.?
11. what about Robin Williams painting of the man in the boat?
12. have you ever dunked on a short hoop?
13. how has your straight edge lifestyle affected your poetry?
14. do you usually write poems straight through or do you piece them together?
15. if you could bring back tupac or biggy who would it be and why?
03 December 2011
skyrim
hey this is the first time you saw
ghost
the first time you cried
in front of someone
for hurting inside
baby hands
letting the plains dust
know how much you care
shout at moon
say MOON
FUCK YOU
and don't worry about saying fuck
like it's art on ferocity
like i can hear through the atmosphere
why all these painkillers won't chill me
do i still turn sunlight into energy
can i put my mind to work
sword is words
i fight with my chest brain
violently grinding against the bells of my soul
take down the second that i raised my voice
or mumbled smile this
or i will kiss you forever
hey this is the first time you saw
ghost
the first time you cried
in front of someone
for hurting inside
baby hands
letting the plains dust
know how much you care
shout at moon
say MOON
FUCK YOU
and don't worry about saying fuck
like it's art on ferocity
like i can hear through the atmosphere
why all these painkillers won't chill me
do i still turn sunlight into energy
can i put my mind to work
sword is words
i fight with my chest brain
violently grinding against the bells of my soul
take down the second that i raised my voice
or mumbled smile this
or i will kiss you forever
02 December 2011
house poem
i was thinking about the time when i found out
we had to sell our house
and that my dad bought another house that was being moved
from the block of my elementary school
to the edge of town on a truck or multiple trucks
i didn't actually see them move the house.
but there it was just sitting on the grass near train tracks
where trains would park late at night
assuming no drunk ass kid is going to want to drive down that road
to get home
at whenever
that first night when we went there before anything was moved in
and we watched FROM HELL and we kissed a little
but you left and i was alone and scared and i locked all the doors
i was thinking about the time when i found out
we had to sell our house
and that my dad bought another house that was being moved
from the block of my elementary school
to the edge of town on a truck or multiple trucks
i didn't actually see them move the house.
but there it was just sitting on the grass near train tracks
where trains would park late at night
assuming no drunk ass kid is going to want to drive down that road
to get home
at whenever
that first night when we went there before anything was moved in
and we watched FROM HELL and we kissed a little
but you left and i was alone and scared and i locked all the doors
creation
confused in the guessing of your mathwork
it's too late to be early saying words
then the eyes not windows to black space
tools for the moon to breathe your grin in my way
i need your name said a few times at night with the window
open cold or crisp or complete darkness around me
i question i answer i poem i nothing i fall through
because you are beautiful is not the meaning of air
to be this nothing is a far away floating grain
waiting to explode from dust to a billion human things
confused in the guessing of your mathwork
it's too late to be early saying words
then the eyes not windows to black space
tools for the moon to breathe your grin in my way
i need your name said a few times at night with the window
open cold or crisp or complete darkness around me
i question i answer i poem i nothing i fall through
because you are beautiful is not the meaning of air
to be this nothing is a far away floating grain
waiting to explode from dust to a billion human things
there is nothing to worry about
i am feeling train sick
on this fifteen minute train
ride
into downtown chicago
are you bald yet
is sprayed across everything
or someone says
do not go into the crypt
it is full of the undead
so you do
and you are excited
about the idea
of this
but maybe you picked a bad night
and you had a few drinks
and there is this nagging feeling
that you won't make it out
of this crypt
so you stop playing skyrim
put away
think
it has been nine months since i spoke to my
etc.
and i close your poems when people walk by
and i like to walk home
and i think i will quit smoking in 2k12
i am feeling train sick
on this fifteen minute train
ride
into downtown chicago
are you bald yet
is sprayed across everything
or someone says
do not go into the crypt
it is full of the undead
so you do
and you are excited
about the idea
of this
but maybe you picked a bad night
and you had a few drinks
and there is this nagging feeling
that you won't make it out
of this crypt
so you stop playing skyrim
put away
think
it has been nine months since i spoke to my
etc.
and i close your poems when people walk by
and i like to walk home
and i think i will quit smoking in 2k12
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