A HUNDRED THOUSAND SUCKERS


i want to terrorize the sun
lift you up on my shoulders so you can pluck
i am bored
i washed the word dad from my tongue
swim me in the seven seas
i want to put all of my poems into a spaceship
and send them to the nearest star
so my brain can start over as a cavepoem
a slimepoem
a single celled cilia muck swimming thoughtlesspoem
who the fuck cares
there is no more heroin for him to make teary rivers
i don't know why i enjoy finding out who lied to me as a child
the rivers length
our enemies strength
who the fuck cares abt the trees anymore
my brain is a ladder to new planets
sing to me i am asleep and i miss you
these dreams i am having lately
i keep hearing ppl talk abt meaning as if it has meaning
haha
"loving you is a complete fucking waste"
-the sun
black beard stole a french slaver ship
and turned it into a north carolina pirate ship
politicians are crooked and we should get rid of them
what a waste of time
think i never went to summer camp
just ran around w my hands in my pants
but i miss last day of school
the way time seemed to stretch itself
instead of stretching my wasted dreams into a deathpool
I USED TO BELIVE IN GOD
and then i didn't
i was watching science fiction and it made me think
abt how pointless existence is
like i forgot that i was human
i was this non human breastless alien
garbling abt peace
life is short
answers are like assholes
i mean i used to have these dreams abt being chased
and i had one the other night
we thrive on being scared
we are the dickless aliens
smudging our cum on the walls of our caveminds
this me
these my cells
new every 7-10 years
dead soon
kill buffalo
there is one specific piggy back ride i remember
there are one or two trees that i really loved climbing
i see cats and i am glad i am not one
i played catch w myself because of capitalism
or something??
can i forgive my father???
does the infinite dark space even know i exist?
memory is a prison and a prisoner
catches you in the shower
you can't just clean the gunpowder off your trigger finger
my blood was on that sidewalk for years
and then they built something new
who am i but a smear on the wall
my face leaving grease on a window
i was here etc.
freeze my naked body in an iceberg
or keep me in something that won't melt
like the nothing in-between my own ears
why am i here is an echo
i mean why am i still here is an echo
questions are like assholes
the sun is an asshole
i used to think that a god was something
that made me and then would save me
but whats that all about
my legacy is a pillar of dust
yesterday feels like now
20 years ago feels like now
100,000,000 years ago feels like now
swimming in warm seas
bury treasure in my teeth
i wonder if a young me
will find them
if i will love myself
comb the sand
put me on their shoulders
so i can leave