we have friends  and can finish
each others meals
what if i think about killing myself so often
but dont want to kill myself yet
what a gun tastes like
how to reach my kobain
though bubble - i want to jizz
i do whatifs like too much vodka
grab the steering wheel like a jerk
we take ditches
i try to finish fast am waiting for a real moon
to exist in my lifetime
i am high and checking facebook
my roommates are drinking in the kitchen
i think abt my life mirrored to my fathers
im wasting time have no money
i want to speak to people with a smile

TROUNCED


ive been makin these mistakes
since my nails got long
talk abt how many showers i see a month
it rarely rains in february here
now im an olive tree three thousand years old
or some such shit
its the cussing that keeps my fruit coming
i fuck for just a trickle in the early summer
 but im not a dog a dog a dog
 for the moon that barely exists
in my handwritten history books
i mean who won wars anyway
im not tall enough for the fair ride i say
but these little specks carry x times their own weight
im slow in the river w my raft
cross my fingers i wont die for awhile
its i miss you that brings birds back
and i guess i do talk to animals
but in a way thats more than human
i am in love w being unsure of
as i tunnel thru the canopy
wondering when the next tree break
will startle me into walking upright

IT'S JUST ME AGAINST THE WORLD


so the walls
      soda bottles
           translate for 
               a dead womans
                   poems.

she says mother
    is a mother
         or wonders o'
             why bother

sugar thighs
      syrup nights for swallow pain
            wishes where she was was here
               wishes to talk thru walls
                 says curse sun or me or i cant 
                     read what she wrote

it goes and i 
 am already a slant
    against solid wood
       undead spruce
            maybe walnut
                

A POEM


will i drink to deth
a light my dragonsfire 
kiss me
w/ the back of your throat
two by two
drown into each others clean dirt
open waterfall of
snake in parfuum feel away
skinny oak 
it crumbly shore loses even the ship
every beast couples
at darkness or soonershine
was lonely was in closed eyes
for my narrow wander
where i been before is travel
thru solid ground
follow trail of bloodguts
from tomb to milky master
no i law i in love w my home
is a glassy plank 
foggy bay an obscura metus down
the alley near mulberry tree
how tall is aging
you the measure of my fingers in cream
talk danger at unseen move
cheek against cold metal
it is shining the sun still when it dies
a groove in yr hand listens
it is future glows a tunnel a porous 
moon travel man 
what stars can you claim
from canine to void of voice
a naked whale sings land
ho!

$$$666


cries a cell
out my look 
globes a coin
roll papers
swell pink breath
mint the trees blood
i am god
cum stain in wake
hands on
the casket
where to work
what a peace
for??
ded is justice
my name colors
a father builds
a boat
for his family
touch sky
flood yr ass
imagine no clouds
it's easy
to be open
sleep under roof
guns guns guns
fuck the police
tat a symbol
cut away crust
co-caine
drink kool-aid
from a knifeblade
glass house
get stoned
lite a candle
torch the rich
feel yr own land
pulse behind glass
bullet proof tongue
talk cheap
milk cheap
ignite me cheap
violent water
baah baah baal 
naked on the beach
think smile
count muscles
squeeze "the juice"
racial smoke machine
sounds of clapper
sing /i killed it/
dream or have one
it is a river
of melty golden
flake the flesh
pour gasoline 
muss feathers
glue feet to space
cost to live
where food is
stored secrets
stare at the hills
green light means
meet dark tunnel
shoot skin first
silver medal
run circles round
square root of prison
cash cycle
money records
pray for war
drug masses
poison hydra
oily eagle
burn the flag
bring back to life
walk the plank 
in my vision
a trillion debts
deth decision

A HUNDRED THOUSAND SUCKERS


i want to terrorize the sun
lift you up on my shoulders so you can pluck
i am bored
i washed the word dad from my tongue
swim me in the seven seas
i want to put all of my poems into a spaceship
and send them to the nearest star
so my brain can start over as a cavepoem
a slimepoem
a single celled cilia muck swimming thoughtlesspoem
who the fuck cares
there is no more heroin for him to make teary rivers
i don't know why i enjoy finding out who lied to me as a child
the rivers length
our enemies strength
who the fuck cares abt the trees anymore
my brain is a ladder to new planets
sing to me i am asleep and i miss you
these dreams i am having lately
i keep hearing ppl talk abt meaning as if it has meaning
haha
"loving you is a complete fucking waste"
-the sun
black beard stole a french slaver ship
and turned it into a north carolina pirate ship
politicians are crooked and we should get rid of them
what a waste of time
think i never went to summer camp
just ran around w my hands in my pants
but i miss last day of school
the way time seemed to stretch itself
instead of stretching my wasted dreams into a deathpool
I USED TO BELIVE IN GOD
and then i didn't
i was watching science fiction and it made me think
abt how pointless existence is
like i forgot that i was human
i was this non human breastless alien
garbling abt peace
life is short
answers are like assholes
i mean i used to have these dreams abt being chased
and i had one the other night
we thrive on being scared
we are the dickless aliens
smudging our cum on the walls of our caveminds
this me
these my cells
new every 7-10 years
dead soon
kill buffalo
there is one specific piggy back ride i remember
there are one or two trees that i really loved climbing
i see cats and i am glad i am not one
i played catch w myself because of capitalism
or something??
can i forgive my father???
does the infinite dark space even know i exist?
memory is a prison and a prisoner
catches you in the shower
you can't just clean the gunpowder off your trigger finger
my blood was on that sidewalk for years
and then they built something new
who am i but a smear on the wall
my face leaving grease on a window
i was here etc.
freeze my naked body in an iceberg
or keep me in something that won't melt
like the nothing in-between my own ears
why am i here is an echo
i mean why am i still here is an echo
questions are like assholes
the sun is an asshole
i used to think that a god was something
that made me and then would save me
but whats that all about
my legacy is a pillar of dust
yesterday feels like now
20 years ago feels like now
100,000,000 years ago feels like now
swimming in warm seas
bury treasure in my teeth
i wonder if a young me
will find them
if i will love myself
comb the sand
put me on their shoulders
so i can leave

tree poem

a friend of mine bought a gun today
i asked him why
he said protection man
i was like protection from man man
man
he said protection from mans protection to man man
man man
man i said man
want to see me shoot stuff
i said no and turned around
he started shooting stuff
it was loud and went on for a bout five minutes

tree poem


i've always wanted
to write a play
where different people just stand there
talk talk
small talk we all know each other better
than we know ourselves
or thats probably not true
i just like to project myself
into every living thing i have come across
and we slowly die
idk it takes several years

breakfast

one hit
water out of reused jug
two eggs fried over ez
one cup coffee w/ 2% *milk and a healthy pour of fake sugar
margarine 
two slices of toast untoasted (one heel)
a poem
three hits
another hit
1 klonopin
one cup coffee w/ 2% *milk and a healthy pour of fake sugar
three hits

muddd

breakfast was easy
she told me tomorrow is february but that was 
last night
i was thinking maybe deth is ez
or where i am iz 
sailor my dolphin hands thru passenger air
i am a webby fantasy of fantastic suicides
saves the day today
hey, wash the dirt from my leather jacket
paint my hair imma monet
if u stare at my face long enough you will see that
it is made up of many smaller faces
numbering is worthless
unless you intend to eat the fruit
don't say that
the value of where my accent isn't
i craw craw bc i loved men in the absence 
of a father
or moving thru time
the way i see trees passing in a car
its try heroin when yr 5
it will never be there for youth
but i keep killing myself for it
say next year
i will dig a new well
10 years from now
i will be a new thing