gut rot

i am hardly bullying and
i am not a library
i spell things wrong a lot
i feel really terrible about it
i sing like a dumb dog
i am lazy in the morning
dislike tap water
but god i want water so bad
it's like i need
to be flooded
or when i used to drive cars
i used to think about driving
off into the ditch
and to me this always seemed
like a hillarious way to die
was so young back then i guess
death just seems funny
like once the movie is over
i will never win an oscar
won't even be around to see people
walk out and stand in front of the theater
wondering what the hell just happened