20 December 2013


it digs of deth when u say it
mash my wishes w a spoon into the bottom of a glass
they call that something when it is mint
like my riverdancing teeth
i jiggle in the winter
makes the whole avalanche seem like a baby
rolling down mtn
fax me the smell of pine lifted from a burning can
where my hands warm
your hips and closer
i want to kiss skin i am shouting my face in the snow
why is it so cold
blame the sun
my legs are made of peeled bark i stuck
together w sap
i want to kiss you i am so
sorry my brain
is a mess
run after  you in my socks
i am afraid of cancer
i dont expect much to change each year
i can dig a well
find nothing
put against me i say the whole bit all of it
and huge numbers that dont exist


how i feel
i was 25 a few years ago
was that when
i voted??
i say i am irish
i mean i am irish
my brothers name is jake
jacob william russel fyfe
i came next
im going to quit my job soon
i love you

whats ded is ded
my friends
a fire is nothing sun sun sun
who here
can hear
me die
i struggle towards light
pull my body from the buried ground
is rot
my feet and nothing
throw me in front of a train
the river
a poem

im sorry i haven't been writing poems for you lately
i didnt score high enough on my iowa basic test to get into the smart kid program
but my teacher said she would get me in and she did
i made some friends there
but it was pretty worthless just an excuse to get out of class for one day
in 6th grade my school sent p much everyone in busses to some wild life refuge
or something but it was closed because of a government strike
nobody at the school thought abt checking ahead
so we saw some imax movie in iowa abt flight or hot air balloons
and there was one scene where you could see older girls skinny dipping
there were hot air balloon rides in the mall parking lot one summer
my parents took us too look at it
the hot air balloon went up and then came back down
my dad buys lottery tickets every week in hopes to become a millionaire
one time i read through some of his notebooks
where he details everything he will do after he wins
become a better father etc.
it made me sad and scared
he told me one time that his dad had his toe cut off because he got too close to a train
he told me my dog was hit by a truck when i was at college
he told me his only friend was hit by a drunk driver
because i was 17 and got arrested for being drunk
when i graduated highschool my mother said i should consider working in a factory
i told her i would rather kill myself
sometimes i think i am unlucky
but i dont know
the teacher who got me into the smart kid class
was one of the few people who ever encouraged me to do anything
in my life
she gave us a poetry assignment
and i had never written poetry before
she said i was great at it and should keep doing it
so here i am

03 December 2013


who am i
but a timelord
of corpse to swim in warm oceans of this planet
too much sleepers under star roof
vacant caves for paint
by numbers
as if i will die if i will myself to deth
on a ledge
on a plain stretch toward the end of the world
is to me the ocean
where everything can roam until your enemey
sweeps through your ankles w an axe
or ends happy
w me kissing your wounds to say
there is magic in my spittly gape
a motion over skin
she waves from
over here
calls distance a jump
where my arms are waiting
i can catch cold
bc my socks are soaked as i walk to some home
empty eyes stare inside the skull
is also there
to find a nothing far
a robe to warmth
coated throat in something like honey
after bees go
and the seas take back the land of whales
songs score the air
w false teeth
made from the jewelry of gods/goddesses
that i have forgottten the names of
bc i do not hear the horns
over crumbling sandstone