19 July 2011
15 July 2011
14 July 2011
waffles
i inhale the sun and then sun and more
make my words syrup or melting sugar or tree poems
miss my friends
miss myself sometimes
forget to breathe and forget to eat and forget to sleep
air or anything was space and distance
let you know things, the worst things i've done
that i remember
what i'll eat in bed
what i buy at the store at 3am
who i'm talking to about who i want to talk to
not knowing what i'm saying when i sleep
some masculine energy or lady moon beam
shock therapy for my deluded-self
trying to pretend i am the happiest mortal alive
or that this moment
is all there is
i inhale the sun and then sun and more
make my words syrup or melting sugar or tree poems
miss my friends
miss myself sometimes
forget to breathe and forget to eat and forget to sleep
air or anything was space and distance
let you know things, the worst things i've done
that i remember
what i'll eat in bed
what i buy at the store at 3am
who i'm talking to about who i want to talk to
not knowing what i'm saying when i sleep
some masculine energy or lady moon beam
shock therapy for my deluded-self
trying to pretend i am the happiest mortal alive
or that this moment
is all there is
13 July 2011
ATL
my south speak got beat out by travel
hiding out in fielded corn crop
but i can still learn how to lie honestly
from civil war memorials
or battlefields or working in the sun
where your entire body hardens in bake
but my poet hands or boy touch
wont bruise any leg and elsewhere
and know the rain hasn't stopped falling
since the last time i saw you
my drawling walk and slow eyes
touching my fingers to your sleeping fingers
wanting to see you every morning
with your hair down and nothing else
my south speak got beat out by travel
hiding out in fielded corn crop
but i can still learn how to lie honestly
from civil war memorials
or battlefields or working in the sun
where your entire body hardens in bake
but my poet hands or boy touch
wont bruise any leg and elsewhere
and know the rain hasn't stopped falling
since the last time i saw you
my drawling walk and slow eyes
touching my fingers to your sleeping fingers
wanting to see you every morning
with your hair down and nothing else
12 July 2011
by normal i mean living
i meant to write something about honesty
like i honestly don't get it
like i'm always telling the truth
because i'm not
sometimes i say things to cover up what i meant to say
i think everyone does that
or i don't know what everyone does
i only know what i do
people won't tell me how to live
maybe they'll tell me when i'm older
like when i've been dead for a million years
someone might say to me out loud
what it really means to be me
because they will know
with all that time to think about it
i meant to write something about honesty
like i honestly don't get it
like i'm always telling the truth
because i'm not
sometimes i say things to cover up what i meant to say
i think everyone does that
or i don't know what everyone does
i only know what i do
people won't tell me how to live
maybe they'll tell me when i'm older
like when i've been dead for a million years
someone might say to me out loud
what it really means to be me
because they will know
with all that time to think about it
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
i can wait for this poem to be it's being
or i can write a poem every night in my void
but i have already become too meta, or become nothing
kyle asked me what i wanted to do, and i said be in love
which isn't really what i meant but im sure he understands
my words mean absolutely nothing
it's vomit, or if i said ralphing would you understand
i said hey i like jack spicer too
but then you murdered me with your car, just ran my ass over
lets start talking about my ass
i rarely want to have sex with anyone
i have never been realistic
i used to call it making love but that was before i ever fucked
like a break up fuck, like the goddamn Bering Strait
i walk across land bridges only
wouldn't trust a man made bridge if it was built by demigod men
one day there will be no sun
it will just keep getting bigger and bigger like the bones in my face
the sun is a hole in my chest
or my lungs are filling up with water
so i suck fire down my throat, i call these blow jobs
i will hire millionaires to clean out my throat
i will hire millionaires to walk my dog
i will hire millionares to listen to me tell them sad stories
that are really just poems about how i miss my dog
this poem is exactly the same length as a poem paul wrote
unless you measure the spaces between each sound
then mine might be empty as a galaxy
i can wait for this poem to be it's being
or i can write a poem every night in my void
but i have already become too meta, or become nothing
kyle asked me what i wanted to do, and i said be in love
which isn't really what i meant but im sure he understands
my words mean absolutely nothing
it's vomit, or if i said ralphing would you understand
i said hey i like jack spicer too
but then you murdered me with your car, just ran my ass over
lets start talking about my ass
i rarely want to have sex with anyone
i have never been realistic
i used to call it making love but that was before i ever fucked
like a break up fuck, like the goddamn Bering Strait
i walk across land bridges only
wouldn't trust a man made bridge if it was built by demigod men
one day there will be no sun
it will just keep getting bigger and bigger like the bones in my face
the sun is a hole in my chest
or my lungs are filling up with water
so i suck fire down my throat, i call these blow jobs
i will hire millionaires to clean out my throat
i will hire millionaires to walk my dog
i will hire millionares to listen to me tell them sad stories
that are really just poems about how i miss my dog
this poem is exactly the same length as a poem paul wrote
unless you measure the spaces between each sound
then mine might be empty as a galaxy
10 July 2011
bows and arrows
with american money i swing my candy filled pockets
at the horrible crying fits i make myself
eager for the excitement you bring to the table
ground water drowning
all the people who drown in drunk driving swims
or if i even feel anything when somebody dies
like when i day dream of my fathers dying
i could be honest or i am only truth things
but the worst thing i have ever done was staying
on the great plains
saying that i can heal my wandering chest brain
or im sorry i ever threatened to leave you
nebraska
where the goddamn dust makes people
shout at moon
wondering why their bodies are shifting
wondering where their parents went when they died
saying im sorry i cant stop the birds from flying
or i dont even know how to use my body
i dont know how to say things i think i mean
my timing is off
to a bad start
my knuckle gaps to knuckles and more gaps
can i say nothing
does the wind blowing and the wind and the wind
chasing my empty stomach
or my empty hands
or full of my shoulders tough meat
chewing it for months still wont break the skin
with american money i swing my candy filled pockets
at the horrible crying fits i make myself
eager for the excitement you bring to the table
ground water drowning
all the people who drown in drunk driving swims
or if i even feel anything when somebody dies
like when i day dream of my fathers dying
i could be honest or i am only truth things
but the worst thing i have ever done was staying
on the great plains
saying that i can heal my wandering chest brain
or im sorry i ever threatened to leave you
nebraska
where the goddamn dust makes people
shout at moon
wondering why their bodies are shifting
wondering where their parents went when they died
saying im sorry i cant stop the birds from flying
or i dont even know how to use my body
i dont know how to say things i think i mean
my timing is off
to a bad start
my knuckle gaps to knuckles and more gaps
can i say nothing
does the wind blowing and the wind and the wind
chasing my empty stomach
or my empty hands
or full of my shoulders tough meat
chewing it for months still wont break the skin
brooklyn poem
move my arm around your no waist
waste the breath of my kiss speak
speak at you like my inner you
she as an i thing
the fix of my longing
send nude pics of my clothed nakedness
flap my arms wild
like the cowboy me
or the time that im here like a new guy
or the 99 other guys who crush my crushing
say lady i build castles for your eye reading
write poems about what you want out of me
like this standing
like this walking through the worlds earth
taking apart my arm parts
to hold you longer than time goes
or kiss you like a love goes
or going away for the no shower
telling you i dont clean up after my dying
or dying like i can see you again
or seeing you
which makes me dream
dreaming about being something
like my eyes at your eyes
move my arm around your no waist
waste the breath of my kiss speak
speak at you like my inner you
she as an i thing
the fix of my longing
send nude pics of my clothed nakedness
flap my arms wild
like the cowboy me
or the time that im here like a new guy
or the 99 other guys who crush my crushing
say lady i build castles for your eye reading
write poems about what you want out of me
like this standing
like this walking through the worlds earth
taking apart my arm parts
to hold you longer than time goes
or kiss you like a love goes
or going away for the no shower
telling you i dont clean up after my dying
or dying like i can see you again
or seeing you
which makes me dream
dreaming about being something
like my eyes at your eyes
07 July 2011
like wilderness
jog long legs toward the sunned sky
follow deer thing with the most beautiful antlers
vanish into the cement by jaw to jaw
to see what i can find inside of your you
teach me how to skin a fish
teach me how to survive city winters
there is no stopping in my mind
steady breathing into the long distance
i can hide in a cave for months
surviving off the fat in my brain
jog long legs toward the sunned sky
follow deer thing with the most beautiful antlers
vanish into the cement by jaw to jaw
to see what i can find inside of your you
teach me how to skin a fish
teach me how to survive city winters
there is no stopping in my mind
steady breathing into the long distance
i can hide in a cave for months
surviving off the fat in my brain
bread
forget your bird feathers here flyer
fly me a moon landing, make beautiful bruises
or when idaho was the moon
new york the space ship city
i'm going to call you a darling
where the huge smiles you make can talk
looking for a hiding spot for my happy-scared eyes
to rest on any of you
challenge me to find what it takes
to scrape by for more time
like this me next to you time
like this awake and sleep time
i will tell you the worst things ive done
i will be the best idiot
i will walk face first into mountains
i will feel this way because i want to
i will kiss you again
forget your bird feathers here flyer
fly me a moon landing, make beautiful bruises
or when idaho was the moon
new york the space ship city
i'm going to call you a darling
where the huge smiles you make can talk
looking for a hiding spot for my happy-scared eyes
to rest on any of you
challenge me to find what it takes
to scrape by for more time
like this me next to you time
like this awake and sleep time
i will tell you the worst things ive done
i will be the best idiot
i will walk face first into mountains
i will feel this way because i want to
i will kiss you again
06 July 2011
GOLD VOLVO
my god is a demigod
a lukewarm piss i take out of my body
to wash off all the cold piss or hot piss
i got stuck on ground water
or trying to tell the entire state of Idaho
i am a fisherman from the great plains
the great fucking plains
flip the bird
at old ladies who cant drive
write a poem about perfect teeth
or fly like these gold teeth
or collect these shark teeth
sometimes i think about how im dying
and wonder how im dying like this
with my hand down my entire throat
massaging guts
with my soft hands
feeling the cement chips
embedded in my lovely wound
or my happy-scared grin the size of everything
my god is a demigod
a lukewarm piss i take out of my body
to wash off all the cold piss or hot piss
i got stuck on ground water
or trying to tell the entire state of Idaho
i am a fisherman from the great plains
the great fucking plains
flip the bird
at old ladies who cant drive
write a poem about perfect teeth
or fly like these gold teeth
or collect these shark teeth
sometimes i think about how im dying
and wonder how im dying like this
with my hand down my entire throat
massaging guts
with my soft hands
feeling the cement chips
embedded in my lovely wound
or my happy-scared grin the size of everything
04 July 2011
just so you know
i am a boring universe
i am the wind, wind, and the wind blowing
i am inside of myself
i am afraid of everyone
i am in love with storming
i walk away from pain
i am the epitome of dollface
i am the river receding
i am the dirt thirsting
i am the pit of my own pitness
i am watching fireworks
i love driving cars
i am the grass, grass, and the grass growing
i am afraid of the no you
i speak to my hearts health
i am the river flooding
i am the absorbing dirt
i keep quiet in poems
i am going to die
i am the no pain
i will tell you how your glow
makes my chest become a million things
that will never exist
i am a boring universe
i am the wind, wind, and the wind blowing
i am inside of myself
i am afraid of everyone
i am in love with storming
i walk away from pain
i am the epitome of dollface
i am the river receding
i am the dirt thirsting
i am the pit of my own pitness
i am watching fireworks
i love driving cars
i am the grass, grass, and the grass growing
i am afraid of the no you
i speak to my hearts health
i am the river flooding
i am the absorbing dirt
i keep quiet in poems
i am going to die
i am the no pain
i will tell you how your glow
makes my chest become a million things
that will never exist
01 July 2011
poem thing
i'm struggling to understand my own existence
in the poem, where there is no poem
metal wall, pressing my face against it
to feel the cold move from no skin to skin
teeth become magnetized to what should be said
in the poem, where there is no poem
and questions are mouth moves i don't understand
because my tongue parts won’t stop talking
things fall from things thinging, and scared me
in the poem, where there is no poem
then lightning, then thunder
wind, wind, and the storm forming
thoughts on the night when there is no storm
in the poem, where there is no poem
the three longest rivers on earth
the Mississippi river is long but very poor--
a road of mud that floods & worships Abraham’s god.
the Amazon river is long & full of sharp things--
spends half the year still while small birds walk across.
the Nile is a long river & goes past some pyramids
that were built by aliens several thousands of years ago.
mind poem
plummet comes to mind
or the inevitable rhyming of mind
my attempts to impress
with diving
and fine dining
or acting like I’m a brilliant actor
the time i said nothing instead of singing
for a king and i audition
when i could speak French in Mississippi
and beat my dad at chess
or jogging jog like a jogger does
at all hours of the night
hold me under a Canadian ocean
i will time a century by just walking it
slow like children can
because they can
with enough cat tranquilizers
to make ten cats sleep for awhile
utility
we take our flashlights with us
to the bathroom
when we pee
not because we’re scared—
are you
a question i should have asked
before blind walking into pitched squalor
bladder full
oh this madness
we being children
we being poor
house of, etc.
my range of movement is restricted
by your shoulder in my shoulder,
i am eating this formerly frozen food
that i have recently unfrozen to eat.
the temptations of being eager for this,
& then you avoid telling people things.
naked is not necessarily an advantage
with you smiling at me and my body.
you come to a room in your own house
that you don't remember being there,
& paint it w/ colors that already were.
sweater poem
i bought this sweater because i
am in love with you
it cost me 70$
& does not even keep me warm
unless i wear it
in the summer.
kind of pricey
did i tell you i haven't showered today
did i tell you how happy-scared i am
your face looking at my face
becoming a face of it
read you Christmas poems at the back bar
in one hundred degree heat
the liquor makes me sing more
makes me less of a secret
or maybe i'll chain smoke for breakfast
stand where ever you want to see me
heaven
for Iowa
a small box the size of Iowa
but let’s not mix the gods
w/ baseball
there is no gay marriage in heaven
because there is no heaven
there is only Iowa
Iowa
for heaven
stretch across a belly flat or
could i say it in a much more boring way
drive slow
so you don’t miss the largest truck stop in the world
with enough parking space for the entire state
to park
their semis
to Chicago
a whim & the fog
rolls, i can say what the fog is. where smart cats keep breeding
w/o consequence, & then the kissing words--
knew the sun would return even when there is no sun for miles
or if it took months of walking
so on & a great distance that i can push back
behind your ear
or do i dare city rain to touch us
with house taps--
scare the dog, drops
a letter
written with small bumps only on my arm
often confused with your arms
you will read to me words like hung, & hair lip, push me
back against the wall & i
watch your mouth
then know my hand is now your hand
lost in the land of your hand parts.
hidden by limited vision, & there
people are
& then a reality filled w/ real things such as
people eat, or
can i see pictures of your ugly foot before they changed it.
walking on
hand pads for the feet to rest, i could walk like this for days
w/ you telling me, don't be so silly
my boy hands. hold—soft
maybe more of a man w/ man hands than i want to be
measured by the silence
between the air-conditioning unit click ons and offs
but you don't look where you're going
& pass the nature walk, say blind spot
Iowa rest stops
greener as temporary, as green can be for the garden or
just a damn lucky guy going for the turn-around
& walk back towards the greenless things
that we can talk about
when we talk about
or do i know what i'm doing, with it
said
‘i know why fog is here.’
now, you're softest when the rain hasn't stopped
& a small line can be curved into something
like the dirt of me,
mud spittle
my mouth runs hungry over your collar bone
coffea
gone from where i saw you
or is where i saw you there.
staining things on my hands
now stain the pant legs of my pants.
shower when you might come by;
i do not shower often.
the rich wet dirt you want
is under the hard dry earth.
you put this seed over here, over here
& cherries grow out of me.
fresh fruit
gobble going gets tough
where i leave my skin to skin
in the sun's weather weathered,
leather under where i sun my shaded self
selfish to hide. breeze i can find
seldom despite a shiftless center--
horizon i noticed, the trees are no trees,
but the trees are still planted
i grab you by this neck & this neck
so they tell you the neck is detachable
pioneers
counting bruises oh, are we
apples
sail upon trampled fields
of water wheat
you grow gold w/ your soiled hands
she
drinks & i
drink redberry-wine cold
behind trails of bison bur & Indian grass,
smelling in barberry or
may-apple maybe, we
wait for it
to get dark for
our skin to hide
nest
wild horses draw the head off
you, razor-legs show me
skin of your bite bones
or where the fir trees grow
down to the night-time-water-body, so
i can be a romantic man
talk generic about the places of you:
the off-path covered wagon,
dirt boat
my beard dangling w/ twigs
& prairie flower.
arranged to remind you
visiting
scumming for a like soul
can i breathe your ocean air, Nebraska
cold is colder than your Nebraska.
your copper hair blondes me, gum
your plumb neck. plump my lips from the cement--
i can bite you, modern world, with my fakest face.
the slope of your back with the back hair
goads my hand to nick-it,
can you reach for me.
take away my cape.
fragile in the sense that a man is,
or why i get nerves in my belly when i see you,
a beauty.
call me for a second; call me while i am sleeping.
call me a word like darling
so my fur jumps
& the coats that warm my shaved shoulders
hide great plains from the belly i said.
more, there is an ocean under here,
you can listen
for the train coming. breathe
the air for me,
the jewel of cattle beds.
bone-chew
does your god know i
don't exist
the dollars of your can
feed it
who doesn't collect
shark teeth on the beaches of Florida
the flattest place
on earth
even the alligator in the canal wouldn’t
eat
my mother.
re-application
use the feet for function
all the ground being tight-rope
damp in romantic
because socks are for sandals
here, rotting wood pile
a poem about trees
tall living soulless, is
nose stubs, bent up branch
run my licked thumb over your eyebrow
girl thing
bite at the air passing between
your arm and ribcage, skinned
and jacketed
covered in water, can you
stop thinking
you are such a forest, moving
toward the moon
the top of your head breaking clouds
fish jaw
i will talk
under a mouth bone
artificial structure added
but unable to chew
through, thumbs for teeth
plucked at the joints or
cherry picker
will i talk
nice words about you and your
pretty bacteria
unseen on my swinging
knees bent in unmovable buck,
hip tall boots
grabbing at river darts
show me your true talk
over in the shallow
where the river moves slow
beard poem
the jaw angle hangs fat
do you still believe in ten
commandments?
were my hands any stronger
i could hurt you easy by saying it
look up words
to say
say, the part of me that hurts is
every part
so i eat less--
heroin is nothing to me, me.
unless i want to 'come in my pants'
and i told you about this
train, i said you took
but you took absolutely
nothing from me, the haves
my dirty underwear maybe
my loneliness
or the spit
on my hands
to grip the grip tighter
to nail it
to leave my face
at home.
station
so you faked the sad parts, my arms
cry big boat-
load the shoulder, making turn
after turn, after
you notice my lack of ampersands
and teeth
the venom kind, kind of like
poetry is not.
sand on the cement for slip
controlled behavior
in the lost pit of Midwest territories
cabin fever'd and
name yourself log-hands
cry, and cry until your brain fizz'z
interlock
knuckle bones
mention to me more about this secret
world you got
drive after we
your phone thing walk-
talkies to my phone thing,
using phone words
hey, and um
breathing, but the shoes don't get used
or the snow works like rain on them
finding plants with names
pretend we know
i wait for your pillow to say
face, you are lovely
or i just whisper this in a poem
about the interstate hours
be dead air for awhile
pretend we know that too
hear sounds others make
bathing and washing off travel
go home
maybe, for the speed in my ankle turn
let it be anywhere
back in a small room with a smaller bed
feel occupation
is what you said or to feel
as if its fur on me
and sounds like rain drops or
all these boys,
always a boy there
grabbing little marshmallow-hands
at a nip,
or things that sparkle,
singular as you
nest at the end of a bar, fully clothed
just
make it work,
the boy says sometime later on
as if words will do
on the slope of Nebraska
in me, Nebraska
shaped the way i see you
just waking on your front side
write you a letter
in my mind
say, i saw you once and remember it
cross the Missouri River again
i always look down
to see what is floating
every thought, you think
i could pretend
not to know what i knew of you
mist, over sand hills
where the cranes
make it back
all this silly travel,
talking about our day jobs
listening to the same sounds
your chin i think,
where the Indian caves are
there to go
i bought you a waterbed said
it was not an ocean
but i still surf
when i was naked
you smiled
i still am
laying naked on the driveway
i wished for a window to sneak away with my smoking
or all sky
for my space travel
find
moons everywhere
slow walk apocalypse
holding a body—
sometimes i am an asshole
the eye’s slits
cum in the clean jeans
trapped by environment
look like a baby
whole lives
ahead of us like ground water
drown your body rubbed soft
red at the nubs or trying lungs
even with a second body,
in case there is no one tomorrow
quiet you, quit--
squint at the sun. say sun.
i’m not dancing, i'm blind,
i’m not ready for the swing--
deck me,
break all my fine china
digging a hole through earth
to china, easy does
the other side, the other
Chinese lives, where.
so the body
keeps growing
does it shit,
we wait to see--
or ass, or bottom
of a beautiful barrel, apples
slice things with knives
ask why i always carry knives
“there are a lot of stabbings
in Grand Island.”
so scary, so wounds cut,
chop noise from cat alley
the sun is increasing in size
night slowly, paw.
am i right,
can you see the dust settle
watch the echo,
bouncing space debris off
past lovers, a fuck
reflections of people you think
talk to yourself
with this new body you found
looking alone with her
wrapped around you.
forgot the words, or
only remembered poems
about falling space dust
ricocheting off some body
turning over and over in your awake
sleep, pretty when you
no, snoring is love,
no this unattractive pile is love
my love, dark as space between
another sun
dust on emptiness, you
you, and the grass growing
under the snow
the beard with all twigs
being afraid of people leaving
or wanting to
lost in a world like china,
not unlike the attractive middle of Nebraska
the arms don’t know their chest
well, imploding
she thinks it’s useless to talk to them
but still talks to them.
nature poem
laugh at the thought of my voice being sunshine
or picture me gentle
holding baby animals in my uncoarse arm ends
wearing the darkest sunglasses ever made
wishing everyone was doing that
self medicate
this isn't easy
the constant shock of shock therapy
your lake face
bright rash red scale
the picture still smiles when you go crazy
it's the water watering
the grass, grass, and the grass growing
take a look at my hands they aren't melting
they aren't fake
you can sell me your happy waves
your moon
controlling my ocean
damn tide even shaping my eyes, which way
i never knew the wind
would carry the clippings
turning brown quickly without water
hiding the lights from dimming
electrocution is not an idea forming.
Spicer
that marvelous finger
he gave it
after being asked to take back comments made
on ted Williams’ contribution to the bosox
i was there he said
i was there when he gave it
but it wasn't worth a goddamn thing
if you want to win the pennant
and my poetry does
i'm struggling to understand my own existence
in the poem, where there is no poem
metal wall, pressing my face against it
to feel the cold move from no skin to skin
teeth become magnetized to what should be said
in the poem, where there is no poem
and questions are mouth moves i don't understand
because my tongue parts won’t stop talking
things fall from things thinging, and scared me
in the poem, where there is no poem
then lightning, then thunder
wind, wind, and the storm forming
thoughts on the night when there is no storm
in the poem, where there is no poem
the three longest rivers on earth
the Mississippi river is long but very poor--
a road of mud that floods & worships Abraham’s god.
the Amazon river is long & full of sharp things--
spends half the year still while small birds walk across.
the Nile is a long river & goes past some pyramids
that were built by aliens several thousands of years ago.
mind poem
plummet comes to mind
or the inevitable rhyming of mind
my attempts to impress
with diving
and fine dining
or acting like I’m a brilliant actor
the time i said nothing instead of singing
for a king and i audition
when i could speak French in Mississippi
and beat my dad at chess
or jogging jog like a jogger does
at all hours of the night
hold me under a Canadian ocean
i will time a century by just walking it
slow like children can
because they can
with enough cat tranquilizers
to make ten cats sleep for awhile
utility
we take our flashlights with us
to the bathroom
when we pee
not because we’re scared—
are you
a question i should have asked
before blind walking into pitched squalor
bladder full
oh this madness
we being children
we being poor
house of, etc.
my range of movement is restricted
by your shoulder in my shoulder,
i am eating this formerly frozen food
that i have recently unfrozen to eat.
the temptations of being eager for this,
& then you avoid telling people things.
naked is not necessarily an advantage
with you smiling at me and my body.
you come to a room in your own house
that you don't remember being there,
& paint it w/ colors that already were.
sweater poem
i bought this sweater because i
am in love with you
it cost me 70$
& does not even keep me warm
unless i wear it
in the summer.
kind of pricey
did i tell you i haven't showered today
did i tell you how happy-scared i am
your face looking at my face
becoming a face of it
read you Christmas poems at the back bar
in one hundred degree heat
the liquor makes me sing more
makes me less of a secret
or maybe i'll chain smoke for breakfast
stand where ever you want to see me
heaven
for Iowa
a small box the size of Iowa
but let’s not mix the gods
w/ baseball
there is no gay marriage in heaven
because there is no heaven
there is only Iowa
Iowa
for heaven
stretch across a belly flat or
could i say it in a much more boring way
drive slow
so you don’t miss the largest truck stop in the world
with enough parking space for the entire state
to park
their semis
to Chicago
a whim & the fog
rolls, i can say what the fog is. where smart cats keep breeding
w/o consequence, & then the kissing words--
knew the sun would return even when there is no sun for miles
or if it took months of walking
so on & a great distance that i can push back
behind your ear
or do i dare city rain to touch us
with house taps--
scare the dog, drops
a letter
written with small bumps only on my arm
often confused with your arms
you will read to me words like hung, & hair lip, push me
back against the wall & i
watch your mouth
then know my hand is now your hand
lost in the land of your hand parts.
hidden by limited vision, & there
people are
& then a reality filled w/ real things such as
people eat, or
can i see pictures of your ugly foot before they changed it.
walking on
hand pads for the feet to rest, i could walk like this for days
w/ you telling me, don't be so silly
my boy hands. hold—soft
maybe more of a man w/ man hands than i want to be
measured by the silence
between the air-conditioning unit click ons and offs
but you don't look where you're going
& pass the nature walk, say blind spot
Iowa rest stops
greener as temporary, as green can be for the garden or
just a damn lucky guy going for the turn-around
& walk back towards the greenless things
that we can talk about
when we talk about
or do i know what i'm doing, with it
said
‘i know why fog is here.’
now, you're softest when the rain hasn't stopped
& a small line can be curved into something
like the dirt of me,
mud spittle
my mouth runs hungry over your collar bone
coffea
gone from where i saw you
or is where i saw you there.
staining things on my hands
now stain the pant legs of my pants.
shower when you might come by;
i do not shower often.
the rich wet dirt you want
is under the hard dry earth.
you put this seed over here, over here
& cherries grow out of me.
fresh fruit
gobble going gets tough
where i leave my skin to skin
in the sun's weather weathered,
leather under where i sun my shaded self
selfish to hide. breeze i can find
seldom despite a shiftless center--
horizon i noticed, the trees are no trees,
but the trees are still planted
i grab you by this neck & this neck
so they tell you the neck is detachable
pioneers
counting bruises oh, are we
apples
sail upon trampled fields
of water wheat
you grow gold w/ your soiled hands
she
drinks & i
drink redberry-wine cold
behind trails of bison bur & Indian grass,
smelling in barberry or
may-apple maybe, we
wait for it
to get dark for
our skin to hide
nest
wild horses draw the head off
you, razor-legs show me
skin of your bite bones
or where the fir trees grow
down to the night-time-water-body, so
i can be a romantic man
talk generic about the places of you:
the off-path covered wagon,
dirt boat
my beard dangling w/ twigs
& prairie flower.
arranged to remind you
visiting
scumming for a like soul
can i breathe your ocean air, Nebraska
cold is colder than your Nebraska.
your copper hair blondes me, gum
your plumb neck. plump my lips from the cement--
i can bite you, modern world, with my fakest face.
the slope of your back with the back hair
goads my hand to nick-it,
can you reach for me.
take away my cape.
fragile in the sense that a man is,
or why i get nerves in my belly when i see you,
a beauty.
call me for a second; call me while i am sleeping.
call me a word like darling
so my fur jumps
& the coats that warm my shaved shoulders
hide great plains from the belly i said.
more, there is an ocean under here,
you can listen
for the train coming. breathe
the air for me,
the jewel of cattle beds.
bone-chew
does your god know i
don't exist
the dollars of your can
feed it
who doesn't collect
shark teeth on the beaches of Florida
the flattest place
on earth
even the alligator in the canal wouldn’t
eat
my mother.
re-application
use the feet for function
all the ground being tight-rope
damp in romantic
because socks are for sandals
here, rotting wood pile
a poem about trees
tall living soulless, is
nose stubs, bent up branch
run my licked thumb over your eyebrow
girl thing
bite at the air passing between
your arm and ribcage, skinned
and jacketed
covered in water, can you
stop thinking
you are such a forest, moving
toward the moon
the top of your head breaking clouds
fish jaw
i will talk
under a mouth bone
artificial structure added
but unable to chew
through, thumbs for teeth
plucked at the joints or
cherry picker
will i talk
nice words about you and your
pretty bacteria
unseen on my swinging
knees bent in unmovable buck,
hip tall boots
grabbing at river darts
show me your true talk
over in the shallow
where the river moves slow
beard poem
the jaw angle hangs fat
do you still believe in ten
commandments?
were my hands any stronger
i could hurt you easy by saying it
look up words
to say
say, the part of me that hurts is
every part
so i eat less--
heroin is nothing to me, me.
unless i want to 'come in my pants'
and i told you about this
train, i said you took
but you took absolutely
nothing from me, the haves
my dirty underwear maybe
my loneliness
or the spit
on my hands
to grip the grip tighter
to nail it
to leave my face
at home.
station
so you faked the sad parts, my arms
cry big boat-
load the shoulder, making turn
after turn, after
you notice my lack of ampersands
and teeth
the venom kind, kind of like
poetry is not.
sand on the cement for slip
controlled behavior
in the lost pit of Midwest territories
cabin fever'd and
name yourself log-hands
cry, and cry until your brain fizz'z
interlock
knuckle bones
mention to me more about this secret
world you got
drive after we
your phone thing walk-
talkies to my phone thing,
using phone words
hey, and um
breathing, but the shoes don't get used
or the snow works like rain on them
finding plants with names
pretend we know
i wait for your pillow to say
face, you are lovely
or i just whisper this in a poem
about the interstate hours
be dead air for awhile
pretend we know that too
hear sounds others make
bathing and washing off travel
go home
maybe, for the speed in my ankle turn
let it be anywhere
back in a small room with a smaller bed
feel occupation
is what you said or to feel
as if its fur on me
and sounds like rain drops or
all these boys,
always a boy there
grabbing little marshmallow-hands
at a nip,
or things that sparkle,
singular as you
nest at the end of a bar, fully clothed
just
make it work,
the boy says sometime later on
as if words will do
on the slope of Nebraska
in me, Nebraska
shaped the way i see you
just waking on your front side
write you a letter
in my mind
say, i saw you once and remember it
cross the Missouri River again
i always look down
to see what is floating
every thought, you think
i could pretend
not to know what i knew of you
mist, over sand hills
where the cranes
make it back
all this silly travel,
talking about our day jobs
listening to the same sounds
your chin i think,
where the Indian caves are
there to go
i bought you a waterbed said
it was not an ocean
but i still surf
when i was naked
you smiled
i still am
laying naked on the driveway
i wished for a window to sneak away with my smoking
or all sky
for my space travel
find
moons everywhere
slow walk apocalypse
holding a body—
sometimes i am an asshole
the eye’s slits
cum in the clean jeans
trapped by environment
look like a baby
whole lives
ahead of us like ground water
drown your body rubbed soft
red at the nubs or trying lungs
even with a second body,
in case there is no one tomorrow
quiet you, quit--
squint at the sun. say sun.
i’m not dancing, i'm blind,
i’m not ready for the swing--
deck me,
break all my fine china
digging a hole through earth
to china, easy does
the other side, the other
Chinese lives, where.
so the body
keeps growing
does it shit,
we wait to see--
or ass, or bottom
of a beautiful barrel, apples
slice things with knives
ask why i always carry knives
“there are a lot of stabbings
in Grand Island.”
so scary, so wounds cut,
chop noise from cat alley
the sun is increasing in size
night slowly, paw.
am i right,
can you see the dust settle
watch the echo,
bouncing space debris off
past lovers, a fuck
reflections of people you think
talk to yourself
with this new body you found
looking alone with her
wrapped around you.
forgot the words, or
only remembered poems
about falling space dust
ricocheting off some body
turning over and over in your awake
sleep, pretty when you
no, snoring is love,
no this unattractive pile is love
my love, dark as space between
another sun
dust on emptiness, you
you, and the grass growing
under the snow
the beard with all twigs
being afraid of people leaving
or wanting to
lost in a world like china,
not unlike the attractive middle of Nebraska
the arms don’t know their chest
well, imploding
she thinks it’s useless to talk to them
but still talks to them.
nature poem
laugh at the thought of my voice being sunshine
or picture me gentle
holding baby animals in my uncoarse arm ends
wearing the darkest sunglasses ever made
wishing everyone was doing that
self medicate
this isn't easy
the constant shock of shock therapy
your lake face
bright rash red scale
the picture still smiles when you go crazy
it's the water watering
the grass, grass, and the grass growing
take a look at my hands they aren't melting
they aren't fake
you can sell me your happy waves
your moon
controlling my ocean
damn tide even shaping my eyes, which way
i never knew the wind
would carry the clippings
turning brown quickly without water
hiding the lights from dimming
electrocution is not an idea forming.
Spicer
that marvelous finger
he gave it
after being asked to take back comments made
on ted Williams’ contribution to the bosox
i was there he said
i was there when he gave it
but it wasn't worth a goddamn thing
if you want to win the pennant
and my poetry does
mind poem
plummet comes to mind
or the inevitable rhyming of mind
my attempts to impress
with diving
and fine dining
or acting like im a brilliant actor
the time i said nothing instead of singing
for a king and i audition
when i could speak french in mississippi
and beat my dad at chess
or jogging jog like a jogger does
at all hours of the night
hold me under a Canadian ocean
i will time a century by just walking it
slow like children can
because they can
with enough cat tranquilizers
to make ten cats sleep for awhile
plummet comes to mind
or the inevitable rhyming of mind
my attempts to impress
with diving
and fine dining
or acting like im a brilliant actor
the time i said nothing instead of singing
for a king and i audition
when i could speak french in mississippi
and beat my dad at chess
or jogging jog like a jogger does
at all hours of the night
hold me under a Canadian ocean
i will time a century by just walking it
slow like children can
because they can
with enough cat tranquilizers
to make ten cats sleep for awhile
30 June 2011
kind of pricey
did i tell you i haven't showered today
did i tell you how happy-scared i am
your face looking at my face
becoming a face of it
read you christmas poems at the back bar
in one hundred degree heat
the liquor makes me sing more
makes me less of a secret
or maybe i'll chain smoke for breakfast
stand where ever you want to see me
did i tell you i haven't showered today
did i tell you how happy-scared i am
your face looking at my face
becoming a face of it
read you christmas poems at the back bar
in one hundred degree heat
the liquor makes me sing more
makes me less of a secret
or maybe i'll chain smoke for breakfast
stand where ever you want to see me
28 June 2011
26 June 2011
my new father
hold your breath like trees from south of iowa
my arms are huggers
the way i can river it out of you
killing a family of european drunks
you cant survive the great plains without work ethic
or a grain of drive
a sin of loving more than whats in front of you
your fat or your son who doesnt know who you are
as if love was something worth pain
or my no breathing was a prayer
that the obese ghosts
could hold me down in the flooding missouri
and my skin tastes new in their teeth
hold your breath like trees from south of iowa
my arms are huggers
the way i can river it out of you
killing a family of european drunks
you cant survive the great plains without work ethic
or a grain of drive
a sin of loving more than whats in front of you
your fat or your son who doesnt know who you are
as if love was something worth pain
or my no breathing was a prayer
that the obese ghosts
could hold me down in the flooding missouri
and my skin tastes new in their teeth
24 June 2011
23 June 2011
22 June 2011
water displacement 40th attempt
melt my face to the ocean floor
with ocean lava, tell them
my father is dead almost
i love everyone who touches me
get the fucking axe for these tree poems
cut the jokes from my chop
i can zen in my pants while you grind me
meat from my knees
but i want you to know
my arms are your arms
knuckles to where there are no knuckles
or this stupid water displacement
that i keep trying
melt my face to the ocean floor
with ocean lava, tell them
my father is dead almost
i love everyone who touches me
get the fucking axe for these tree poems
cut the jokes from my chop
i can zen in my pants while you grind me
meat from my knees
but i want you to know
my arms are your arms
knuckles to where there are no knuckles
or this stupid water displacement
that i keep trying
water displacement 40th attempt
my quack won't echo no matter how many times i quack
or i'm crying like a baby boy, do you see my wet face
rigid cheeks of me making a new me
trying to get rid of the person everyone sees
i swallow gum
one day my stomach will stretch into it's own baby
or i spit down my throat to dilute the blood draining
not quite a pint daily
filter the water through napkins
that i grab handfulls of at local restaurants
so i can hydrate without the fear
of what ever i should be afraid of in old pipes
i am a small thing and only getting smaller
if you can see past the dying body filling itself with insulation
and realize that the words i say
mean nothing other than what i have failed to do
my quack won't echo no matter how many times i quack
or i'm crying like a baby boy, do you see my wet face
rigid cheeks of me making a new me
trying to get rid of the person everyone sees
i swallow gum
one day my stomach will stretch into it's own baby
or i spit down my throat to dilute the blood draining
not quite a pint daily
filter the water through napkins
that i grab handfulls of at local restaurants
so i can hydrate without the fear
of what ever i should be afraid of in old pipes
i am a small thing and only getting smaller
if you can see past the dying body filling itself with insulation
and realize that the words i say
mean nothing other than what i have failed to do
18 June 2011
17 June 2011
15 June 2011
krzyzewski
i fall in love with everyone who touches me
yes i just had a baby
but these are my babies
what i don't say is understanding
or just the lack of interest in actually having something
unless you have recently touched me
my skin remembers the body inside of it
the lonely part
or the part that notices things that cake
because the weight of living
really is just the vapor of dying
letting go of your self by cell slough
kind of like this baby
or this hot lady
or my sun burn from being lazy
the cream won't always smooth you
tongue pulled through the hole in your throat
talking into a microphone
i fall in love with everyone who touches me
yes i just had a baby
but these are my babies
what i don't say is understanding
or just the lack of interest in actually having something
unless you have recently touched me
my skin remembers the body inside of it
the lonely part
or the part that notices things that cake
because the weight of living
really is just the vapor of dying
letting go of your self by cell slough
kind of like this baby
or this hot lady
or my sun burn from being lazy
the cream won't always smooth you
tongue pulled through the hole in your throat
talking into a microphone
13 June 2011
10 June 2011
black hole
controls out of my factor
pen and paper haves
my wrists are horse knees too
i love you times infinity
clay nipples for the shaping
the way you mountain over pacific
and ocean
and i wish my legs were arms
and i cant see you with my hands
pinching at sex like a chore
my sweeping or hiding everything under a bed
where gods cannot see
a lead mattress with stains from a body
from when the roof leaked or the cat died
or when i swam into you etc.
controls out of my factor
pen and paper haves
my wrists are horse knees too
i love you times infinity
clay nipples for the shaping
the way you mountain over pacific
and ocean
and i wish my legs were arms
and i cant see you with my hands
pinching at sex like a chore
my sweeping or hiding everything under a bed
where gods cannot see
a lead mattress with stains from a body
from when the roof leaked or the cat died
or when i swam into you etc.
07 June 2011
age of aging
i don't know who speaks in a mouthing
a minor radiation storm
the heat reaching three thousand degrees on my face
and hands
shhh
there is hidden water under the earth
or in camels, which are amazing
i cannot fly up
feel the sun expanding, does it
scar my pale neckline,
can i even forget that i am baking
or see the person
that has been here for over a number of years
and counting
you say we are normal
that the flames on our faces are normal
my lips and muscles and sex drive decay in front of me
in a normal way
damned if i'm damned
if i don't, still damned i guess
feel myself trying to hold onto my self as if i can die
before im thirty
or if this death of mine would really matter to me
the frightening thought of who i am losing who i am
tells god to die
am i
going to test my own nothing.
i don't know who speaks in a mouthing
a minor radiation storm
the heat reaching three thousand degrees on my face
and hands
shhh
there is hidden water under the earth
or in camels, which are amazing
i cannot fly up
feel the sun expanding, does it
scar my pale neckline,
can i even forget that i am baking
or see the person
that has been here for over a number of years
and counting
you say we are normal
that the flames on our faces are normal
my lips and muscles and sex drive decay in front of me
in a normal way
damned if i'm damned
if i don't, still damned i guess
feel myself trying to hold onto my self as if i can die
before im thirty
or if this death of mine would really matter to me
the frightening thought of who i am losing who i am
tells god to die
am i
going to test my own nothing.
06 June 2011
baby cat
its hard to trick yourself or to quit smoking
down in the death of my own ass
the pits all deep
im like haha
i killed him
dropping my draws in front of myself
a mirror after showers after we wash off my stink
you say lets fuck
or can i even be a baby boy
i cried the other night because i changed
so much that i miss what you miss of me
screaming drunk at hell
with garbage dangling around my neck
my ass
hanging out of my mouth
its hard to trick yourself or to quit smoking
down in the death of my own ass
the pits all deep
im like haha
i killed him
dropping my draws in front of myself
a mirror after showers after we wash off my stink
you say lets fuck
or can i even be a baby boy
i cried the other night because i changed
so much that i miss what you miss of me
screaming drunk at hell
with garbage dangling around my neck
my ass
hanging out of my mouth
04 June 2011
feel small
take a page out of perfect murders
guess you could make 20k a head
like that
i think im going to buy a pair of tennisshoes
man
i have to live like im poor like
god will fuck me
or i will be too spaced out and afraid
to see all this shit
peoples feelings are always a severed head
please do not shake
look away from the crying man
take a page out of perfect murders
guess you could make 20k a head
like that
i think im going to buy a pair of tennisshoes
man
i have to live like im poor like
god will fuck me
or i will be too spaced out and afraid
to see all this shit
peoples feelings are always a severed head
please do not shake
look away from the crying man
03 June 2011
02 June 2011
01 June 2011
beginings of things
i will let you go
to start
say what weapons you are, tongue
deliver the bulb from your colorless chop
let it ooze from an opening
the more i make sex sounds
i laugh at the smell of suction
why dont i just go where ever
propose to anyone i love
some sad one
why not slide out the bathroom window
get the fuck away
start smoking
i will let you go
to start
say what weapons you are, tongue
deliver the bulb from your colorless chop
let it ooze from an opening
the more i make sex sounds
i laugh at the smell of suction
why dont i just go where ever
propose to anyone i love
some sad one
why not slide out the bathroom window
get the fuck away
start smoking
gaps
there is so much time to be june as a porch-swing
leave the days where the days go
where there was water
sunk the egyptians or swallowed the earth
but my mouth is wide open with words
to buzz away with its' bits
confronted by what i say i see
or the eyes, where they were forgetting space
vague shadows from sun behind moon
when your finger points to a godless sea
or a line from each knuckle
lining somewhere with no knuckles
there is so much time to be june as a porch-swing
leave the days where the days go
where there was water
sunk the egyptians or swallowed the earth
but my mouth is wide open with words
to buzz away with its' bits
confronted by what i say i see
or the eyes, where they were forgetting space
vague shadows from sun behind moon
when your finger points to a godless sea
or a line from each knuckle
lining somewhere with no knuckles
31 May 2011
Yamalok
the sirens that wake me up or keep me up, slowing
are for you
no matter where they are heading
haunt me longer than any city you stay in
remember new york is also a city
or hearding buffalo
without effort you may rope me or
tangle your own toes
looking calf
how is the swimming around your island
did you collect shark teeth
the way i used to collect shark teeth
the sirens that wake me up or keep me up, slowing
are for you
no matter where they are heading
haunt me longer than any city you stay in
remember new york is also a city
or hearding buffalo
without effort you may rope me or
tangle your own toes
looking calf
how is the swimming around your island
did you collect shark teeth
the way i used to collect shark teeth
sore throat
tired of the telling me
my fear of cold water
a snake
let me leap
legs unbreakable
from chugging the tit
mark my oval pucker
around something more giving
stand out on the edge of a tall thing
there are no bridges worth that life of yours
calm the hungry birds
maybe they will share
my jaws stretched swollen
from bone forming
wake up spitting blood for a few minutes
I'm going to need that hand
your promises
make me laugh out loud at tornadoes
can the wind, wind, and the wind
hear me
over all this expensive wind
tired of the telling me
my fear of cold water
a snake
let me leap
legs unbreakable
from chugging the tit
mark my oval pucker
around something more giving
stand out on the edge of a tall thing
there are no bridges worth that life of yours
calm the hungry birds
maybe they will share
my jaws stretched swollen
from bone forming
wake up spitting blood for a few minutes
I'm going to need that hand
your promises
make me laugh out loud at tornadoes
can the wind, wind, and the wind
hear me
over all this expensive wind
30 May 2011
cabbage
im designating you as my ulcer
no I don't know what you
is
my gun is never loaded
dont let my enemies know
the earth isnt dying right
it should be wild
full of crazy shit
the gods haven't sprung on us yet
like thinking crazy
imaging my voice as strong enough
my actions
could save someone
like the pain as a person
hole in my gut
i'm leaking all over you
my stupid drooling
name calling it sugar pie
or how else am i supposed to remember
im designating you as my ulcer
no I don't know what you
is
my gun is never loaded
dont let my enemies know
the earth isnt dying right
it should be wild
full of crazy shit
the gods haven't sprung on us yet
like thinking crazy
imaging my voice as strong enough
my actions
could save someone
like the pain as a person
hole in my gut
i'm leaking all over you
my stupid drooling
name calling it sugar pie
or how else am i supposed to remember
28 May 2011
27 May 2011
parrot squawk
you forgot how poisonous you are
skag, feeding off my pit
my pitness
call the head a seperate neck top
falling off at the skull bone
shake your hair from the scalping
sharp knife fit hand glide
scrape, or gum the brain skin
with your soft mouth
of no fangs,
mouth words at me with sound
as if i give a damn
what i hear
you forgot how poisonous you are
skag, feeding off my pit
my pitness
call the head a seperate neck top
falling off at the skull bone
shake your hair from the scalping
sharp knife fit hand glide
scrape, or gum the brain skin
with your soft mouth
of no fangs,
mouth words at me with sound
as if i give a damn
what i hear
26 May 2011
mathematics
shaking in your no boots
carry water to the ocean
increase the size of the air
ask paul how tall a celebrity is
like i wonder how tall nick cage is
or i wonder how tall yao ming is
or i wonder
why
she ran away
to the ocean
with all these buckets of water
and i wonder
where she gets all of this water
polluting the salt soup
killing all the fish with purity
or whatever you call it,
go tell it
on the mountain
where there are no mountains
like nebraska
or like anything in my mind
shut-up-i'm-talking
about romance, about it being all quiet
about my nerves fucking up everything i do
about hating the sex of it
thats the truth
i'm going to white out my back brain
places where i remember places
like going there
like a car crash that i remember
because i told the story so many fucking times
i'm bored of that story
and the mountains i tell it on
but here i can see
taking water from one ocean
to fill up another ocean
is stupid.
shaking in your no boots
carry water to the ocean
increase the size of the air
ask paul how tall a celebrity is
like i wonder how tall nick cage is
or i wonder how tall yao ming is
or i wonder
why
she ran away
to the ocean
with all these buckets of water
and i wonder
where she gets all of this water
polluting the salt soup
killing all the fish with purity
or whatever you call it,
go tell it
on the mountain
where there are no mountains
like nebraska
or like anything in my mind
shut-up-i'm-talking
about romance, about it being all quiet
about my nerves fucking up everything i do
about hating the sex of it
thats the truth
i'm going to white out my back brain
places where i remember places
like going there
like a car crash that i remember
because i told the story so many fucking times
i'm bored of that story
and the mountains i tell it on
but here i can see
taking water from one ocean
to fill up another ocean
is stupid.
24 May 2011
neurolux
talk zombie at me ahyaya, cut the shit out of this
tooth melon. i'm going to eliminate the gods of us
banging fist face against table mirrors
as if you couldn't see the fuck you give
pray i don't eat the whole arm and shoulder
chuck your chuck up, tall boy
how tall is anyone with their eyes up
at the rim
where your gums are bleeding
and your jaw hangs by the last of your skin
talk zombie at me ahyaya, cut the shit out of this
tooth melon. i'm going to eliminate the gods of us
banging fist face against table mirrors
as if you couldn't see the fuck you give
pray i don't eat the whole arm and shoulder
chuck your chuck up, tall boy
how tall is anyone with their eyes up
at the rim
where your gums are bleeding
and your jaw hangs by the last of your skin
numb
for mikey
feel the weight of your self on yourself
seriousness of limb loss
your milk is feeding every body
regrow
your accent
hair falling from ground to head
deeper than your the point
making a birth seem more important
than the fuck
that created you
beam for me with your light
take your tongue out of your mouth
leave your home at home
listen with your no ears
for mikey
feel the weight of your self on yourself
seriousness of limb loss
your milk is feeding every body
regrow
your accent
hair falling from ground to head
deeper than your the point
making a birth seem more important
than the fuck
that created you
beam for me with your light
take your tongue out of your mouth
leave your home at home
listen with your no ears
23 May 2011
20 May 2011
craig t. nelson
the weekend counts as one night,
sometimes
this dumb guy forgets what he eats, or is
late for work is always the end
some other guy gets the promotion
gets to be president
or god
i like the way you think in the underbelly
kicking the walls
of your mother
hey lets not get ahead of ourselves
wading in the kiddie pool
years ago
the weekend counts as one night,
sometimes
this dumb guy forgets what he eats, or is
late for work is always the end
some other guy gets the promotion
gets to be president
or god
i like the way you think in the underbelly
kicking the walls
of your mother
hey lets not get ahead of ourselves
wading in the kiddie pool
years ago
18 May 2011
moon
brought into this world to be a boring
venom is the hawks case
and there will be no sign of her here
which the spot has passed
the attention placed on your moon finger
am i lost
again staring at star skies
the same way anyone would in the galaxy
being scared
being tired
being dead
is the pit of my pitness
pressed up against the inside of your metal you
cold shaded body
leaning toward warmth
brought into this world to be a boring
venom is the hawks case
and there will be no sign of her here
which the spot has passed
the attention placed on your moon finger
am i lost
again staring at star skies
the same way anyone would in the galaxy
being scared
being tired
being dead
is the pit of my pitness
pressed up against the inside of your metal you
cold shaded body
leaning toward warmth
16 May 2011
poem thing
i'm struggling to understand my own existence
in the poem, where there is no poem
a wall there, pressing my face against it
to feel the cold move from metal into skin,
teeth become magnatized to what should be said
in the poem, where there is no poem
and questions are just words i don't understand
because my mouth parts wont stop talking--
things fall from things thinging, and scared me
in the poem, where there is no poem
then lightning, then thunder
wind, wind, and the storm forming
thoughts on the night when there is no storm
in the poem, where there is no poem
i'm struggling to understand my own existence
in the poem, where there is no poem
a wall there, pressing my face against it
to feel the cold move from metal into skin,
teeth become magnatized to what should be said
in the poem, where there is no poem
and questions are just words i don't understand
because my mouth parts wont stop talking--
things fall from things thinging, and scared me
in the poem, where there is no poem
then lightning, then thunder
wind, wind, and the storm forming
thoughts on the night when there is no storm
in the poem, where there is no poem
14 May 2011
2k11
for 2k10
this isn't your big feet
this isn't you running
this isn't your wet hair
this isn't about your feelings
this isn't about how fat i feel
this isn't me talking to my dad
this isn't ready for that
this isn't going to be deleted
this isn't going to win
this isn't stacks of green backs
this isn't nap time
this isn't your ears when i kiss them
this isn't you punching me in the mouth
this isn't leaving a message
this isn't cool anymore
this isn't commentary on your old underwear
this isn't a disease
this isn't your bedroom body
this isn't the blood in my mouth
this isn't a fuck up
this isn't clean cut or business casual
this isn't the rest of my life
this isn't your neurosis
this isn't the neurolux
this isn't Hemingways grave
this isn't me crying at thanksgiving
this isn't funny
this isn't another acid trip
this isn't going to change without effort
this isn't zen
this isn't Sway with MTV news
this isn't going anywhere
this isn't San Francisco
this isn't a big deal to you
this isn't even a poem
for 2k10
this isn't your big feet
this isn't you running
this isn't your wet hair
this isn't about your feelings
this isn't about how fat i feel
this isn't me talking to my dad
this isn't ready for that
this isn't going to be deleted
this isn't going to win
this isn't stacks of green backs
this isn't nap time
this isn't your ears when i kiss them
this isn't you punching me in the mouth
this isn't leaving a message
this isn't cool anymore
this isn't commentary on your old underwear
this isn't a disease
this isn't your bedroom body
this isn't the blood in my mouth
this isn't a fuck up
this isn't clean cut or business casual
this isn't the rest of my life
this isn't your neurosis
this isn't the neurolux
this isn't Hemingways grave
this isn't me crying at thanksgiving
this isn't funny
this isn't another acid trip
this isn't going to change without effort
this isn't zen
this isn't Sway with MTV news
this isn't going anywhere
this isn't San Francisco
this isn't a big deal to you
this isn't even a poem
13 May 2011
killebrew
hammerin' at yer throat
call bull
pin ears back at the dirt
your about to tear up,
wind, wind, and the wind blowing
eases the exit
i like to do dishes, i guess
for fun
and pound rocks over walls with a stick
with those arms
you stole from your grandad
the strongest man in the union army
way back when
you stood on deck
with your whole life ahead of you
hammerin' at yer throat
call bull
pin ears back at the dirt
your about to tear up,
wind, wind, and the wind blowing
eases the exit
i like to do dishes, i guess
for fun
and pound rocks over walls with a stick
with those arms
you stole from your grandad
the strongest man in the union army
way back when
you stood on deck
with your whole life ahead of you
car smoke
for paul
and when i say punch it
punch it,
make me push the damn thing up a mountain,
say anything is a mountain.
i'm not heavy but i'm sinking into solid
rocks.
toss me another cigarette so i can quit that too.
i didn't even mark up my arms with all the glass shards
from the windshield.
then i forgot you didn't actually run me over.
forgot that i'm alive,
and can tell you stories about the times
when i needed just one punch to keep me in line,
nothing too serious.
for paul
and when i say punch it
punch it,
make me push the damn thing up a mountain,
say anything is a mountain.
i'm not heavy but i'm sinking into solid
rocks.
toss me another cigarette so i can quit that too.
i didn't even mark up my arms with all the glass shards
from the windshield.
then i forgot you didn't actually run me over.
forgot that i'm alive,
and can tell you stories about the times
when i needed just one punch to keep me in line,
nothing too serious.
11 May 2011
self medicate
this isn't easy
the constant shock of shock therapy
your lake face
bright rash red scale
the picture still smiles when you go crazy
it's the water watering
the grass, grass, and the grass growing
take a look at my hands they aren't melting
they aren't fake
you can sell me your happy waves
your moon
controling my ocean
damn tide even shaping my eyes, which way
i never knew the wind
would carry the clippings
turning brown quickly without water
hiding the lights from dimming
electrocution is not an idea forming.
this isn't easy
the constant shock of shock therapy
your lake face
bright rash red scale
the picture still smiles when you go crazy
it's the water watering
the grass, grass, and the grass growing
take a look at my hands they aren't melting
they aren't fake
you can sell me your happy waves
your moon
controling my ocean
damn tide even shaping my eyes, which way
i never knew the wind
would carry the clippings
turning brown quickly without water
hiding the lights from dimming
electrocution is not an idea forming.
10 May 2011
spit tar
smile when i am naked
i cannot stand all your drooling
you and your control
of the ocean
though it is only wet space
liquified by my constant pummelling
skin surfing on sweat
that chokes out light from hot gas,
your pain in the ass
is not what im looking for
i tried to find the access of grinning
teeth are something i can say
feel the bones grinding
feel my spray on your face.
smile when i am naked
i cannot stand all your drooling
you and your control
of the ocean
though it is only wet space
liquified by my constant pummelling
skin surfing on sweat
that chokes out light from hot gas,
your pain in the ass
is not what im looking for
i tried to find the access of grinning
teeth are something i can say
feel the bones grinding
feel my spray on your face.
09 May 2011
nectar
i forget to drink water,
you scoot, take your little wagon,
sometimes in the desert
shouting the dirty mouth,
bats fly over cactus to cactus
with these death parts between,
lucid dreams, or am i see-ing this for real.
i am a sucker,
blood honey, the whole nine,
bathe in stretched out rays
black spots left after scrubbing
decay is a tooth, tooth, tooth
smile.
i forget to drink water,
you scoot, take your little wagon,
sometimes in the desert
shouting the dirty mouth,
bats fly over cactus to cactus
with these death parts between,
lucid dreams, or am i see-ing this for real.
i am a sucker,
blood honey, the whole nine,
bathe in stretched out rays
black spots left after scrubbing
decay is a tooth, tooth, tooth
smile.
05 May 2011
scab
just notice with your thumbs
the tightest muscle
the blood rimming your tongue
how strong a womans back is
your job
is to anticipate
bought the plot
ready to say
ready
asking a man how you lost all that weight
eating
him
carve the dried part away
from something healthy
watch the puss milk
hearing the wobble in your voice
makes me
forget what you look like.
just notice with your thumbs
the tightest muscle
the blood rimming your tongue
how strong a womans back is
your job
is to anticipate
bought the plot
ready to say
ready
asking a man how you lost all that weight
eating
him
carve the dried part away
from something healthy
watch the puss milk
hearing the wobble in your voice
makes me
forget what you look like.
04 May 2011
beard poem
walked past this blind girl
into the street
saw her once at the coffee shop in my office building
she turned and said
you have a beard
it was true, but i really didn't know what to say back
so i just smiled
but didn't know if she saw that too.
theres blood in my mouth a lot these days.
stars say im going to be dead soon.
i might shave tomorrow.
actually i will,
flower arrangement on my jaw--
drunk guys always yell at me
they see my beard too,
it reminds them of other people who have beards.
i told you the time my face was ripped off
you didn't know what to say either
so i just
walked past this blind girl
into the street
saw her once at the coffee shop in my office building
she turned and said
you have a beard
it was true, but i really didn't know what to say back
so i just smiled
but didn't know if she saw that too.
theres blood in my mouth a lot these days.
stars say im going to be dead soon.
i might shave tomorrow.
actually i will,
flower arrangement on my jaw--
drunk guys always yell at me
they see my beard too,
it reminds them of other people who have beards.
i told you the time my face was ripped off
you didn't know what to say either
so i just
02 May 2011
politics
the name change confused me
she spells it like,
my president. or like,
the earthly image of venus as a woman
as a star
when my birth is closer to other stars
or why they tell me things are looking up--
gonna make more money this month.
she said
she was hurt,
long before the first Bush adminstration
as a joke.
my life
is in sequence by decades
out of line on the 4th year.
where was i
when i had my whole life ahead of me,
on my death bed,
in my dreams. even dying now.
the name change confused me
she spells it like,
my president. or like,
the earthly image of venus as a woman
as a star
when my birth is closer to other stars
or why they tell me things are looking up--
gonna make more money this month.
she said
she was hurt,
long before the first Bush adminstration
as a joke.
my life
is in sequence by decades
out of line on the 4th year.
where was i
when i had my whole life ahead of me,
on my death bed,
in my dreams. even dying now.
28 April 2011
26 April 2011
22 April 2011
19 April 2011
your dad dies too
nothing strange happens
just laying there naked in the lawn
where the dog burries its shit.
come to conclusions.
think how normal it might be
to never speak to him again.
maybe still love him.
not sure.
you write a poem about it.
you call it a poem for your father,
remind yourself when he told you
the dog was hit by a truck
because maybe
he thought you would hate him
for telling the truth.
nothing strange happens
just laying there naked in the lawn
where the dog burries its shit.
come to conclusions.
think how normal it might be
to never speak to him again.
maybe still love him.
not sure.
you write a poem about it.
you call it a poem for your father,
remind yourself when he told you
the dog was hit by a truck
because maybe
he thought you would hate him
for telling the truth.
18 April 2011
for ACK
a beaten filthy golve
flexes best around a pop-fly
swinging branches
pointing them out to distance
these are the jokes
call the sun big sun
call a girl anything
holding cigarettes in our left hand
waiting for the next sizzle
not at all like love, Jack
unless you know where it comes
from.
and noses to water
the motion of moon waves.
why would you scream at me
pain vomit,
why is the death of us so important
a beaten filthy golve
flexes best around a pop-fly
swinging branches
pointing them out to distance
these are the jokes
call the sun big sun
call a girl anything
holding cigarettes in our left hand
waiting for the next sizzle
not at all like love, Jack
unless you know where it comes
from.
and noses to water
the motion of moon waves.
why would you scream at me
pain vomit,
why is the death of us so important
14 April 2011
11 April 2011
april
trim my nails for me, the toes
i'm moving to get away from you
all to silence myself.
i told you the sun would expand
came out of nowhere, there was nothing
hanging heat in the sky,
not enough water in the ocean
to put out a star,
too much chaos banging
from beneath us.
i told you i wouldn't bake,
told you i would save someone.
but there are too many, too many
ways to save myself.
my love will hold me accountable for hate
or the violence inside of me
that i cannot show.
blasting drums beneath the face of earth
you do not have to hate me
to hate me.
my smile does not mean i am alive.
trim my nails for me, the toes
i'm moving to get away from you
all to silence myself.
i told you the sun would expand
came out of nowhere, there was nothing
hanging heat in the sky,
not enough water in the ocean
to put out a star,
too much chaos banging
from beneath us.
i told you i wouldn't bake,
told you i would save someone.
but there are too many, too many
ways to save myself.
my love will hold me accountable for hate
or the violence inside of me
that i cannot show.
blasting drums beneath the face of earth
you do not have to hate me
to hate me.
my smile does not mean i am alive.
06 April 2011
breakfast
feelings of top heavy-ness, i steal
the chill bending over for spring
and isn't it odd?
monotony of mortal feeling
it was my love, my love, burning
centered around your form
there is always a shadow there is always
the face side.
throw yourself at someone who shows no interest
isn't it odd?
the difference is what we don't remember.
difference in monotony
this is your brain on mortality
this is your brain
livin'
feelings of top heavy-ness, i steal
the chill bending over for spring
and isn't it odd?
monotony of mortal feeling
it was my love, my love, burning
centered around your form
there is always a shadow there is always
the face side.
throw yourself at someone who shows no interest
isn't it odd?
the difference is what we don't remember.
difference in monotony
this is your brain on mortality
this is your brain
livin'
05 April 2011
end of the world
ambling, river walk hey lady
does the angelic flutter into dark
and rainbow trout
hides the hook hooked under a roundish face
ray of light, oh god
the gays!
ambling lazy street walk
the weather makes you
talk, a life like tornado
i am the moon ripping the waves of pain in your metal jaws
i am a songbird singing
i am the wind and the wind and the wind blowing
storms of jupiter into your mouth
Woman
sideways eyes on a snake gargling hiss at the black spots on its face,
the inevitable swollen sun
you are the watered lawn
you are the grass growing
Woman fosil, sinner of freedom
pressing the green against me
moon never sways
the lonely endless midwest
surfing to galaxies.
ambling, river walk hey lady
does the angelic flutter into dark
and rainbow trout
hides the hook hooked under a roundish face
ray of light, oh god
the gays!
ambling lazy street walk
the weather makes you
talk, a life like tornado
i am the moon ripping the waves of pain in your metal jaws
i am a songbird singing
i am the wind and the wind and the wind blowing
storms of jupiter into your mouth
Woman
sideways eyes on a snake gargling hiss at the black spots on its face,
the inevitable swollen sun
you are the watered lawn
you are the grass growing
Woman fosil, sinner of freedom
pressing the green against me
moon never sways
the lonely endless midwest
surfing to galaxies.
04 April 2011
autobiography
wants to be
brutal too,
hammerhead shark-like
where the eyes are at,
burried under ocean.
doesn't remember the great compromise
ing it, make the sounds
leap off a do, or i
movement brush
forget what is covered up.
brutally
wises you over
with the glance of unshaded eye
sockets,
owl turning neck of her.
expanding sun, roast
makes the conscious beat
of what we can live,
ing it,
again, and then some.
wants to be
brutal too,
hammerhead shark-like
where the eyes are at,
burried under ocean.
doesn't remember the great compromise
ing it, make the sounds
leap off a do, or i
movement brush
forget what is covered up.
brutally
wises you over
with the glance of unshaded eye
sockets,
owl turning neck of her.
expanding sun, roast
makes the conscious beat
of what we can live,
ing it,
again, and then some.
25 March 2011
slow walk apocalypse
holding a body—
sometimes i am an asshole
the eye’s slits
cum in the clean jeans
trapped by environment
look like a baby
whole lives
ahead of us--
your body rubbed soft
red at the nubs,
even with a second body,
in case there is no one tomorrow
quiet you, quit--
squint at the sun. say sun.
i’m not dancing, i'm blind,
i’m not ready for the swing--
deck me,
break all my fine china
digging a hole through earth
to china, easy does
the other side, the other
chinese lives, where.
so the body
keeps growing
does it shit,
we wait to see--
or ass, or bottom
of a beautiful barrel, apples
slice things with knives
ask why i always carry knives
“there are a lot of stabbings
in Grand Island.”
so scary, so wounds cut,
chop noise from cat alley
the sun is increasing in size
night slowly, paw.
am i right,
can you see the dust settle
watch the echo,
bouncing space debris off
past lovers, a fuck
reflections of people you think
talk to yourself
with this new body you found
looking alone with her
wrapped around you.
forgot the words, or
only remembered poems
about falling space dust
ricocheting off some body
turning over and over in your awake
sleep, pretty when you
no, snoring is love,
no this unattractive pile is love
my love, dark as space between
another sun
dust on emptiness, you
you, and the grass growing
under the snow
the beard with all twigs
being afraid of people leaving
or wanting to
lost in a world like china,
not unlike the attractive middle of nebraska
the arms don’t know their chest
well, imploding
she thinks it’s useless to talk to them
but still talks to them.
holding a body—
sometimes i am an asshole
the eye’s slits
cum in the clean jeans
trapped by environment
look like a baby
whole lives
ahead of us--
your body rubbed soft
red at the nubs,
even with a second body,
in case there is no one tomorrow
quiet you, quit--
squint at the sun. say sun.
i’m not dancing, i'm blind,
i’m not ready for the swing--
deck me,
break all my fine china
digging a hole through earth
to china, easy does
the other side, the other
chinese lives, where.
so the body
keeps growing
does it shit,
we wait to see--
or ass, or bottom
of a beautiful barrel, apples
slice things with knives
ask why i always carry knives
“there are a lot of stabbings
in Grand Island.”
so scary, so wounds cut,
chop noise from cat alley
the sun is increasing in size
night slowly, paw.
am i right,
can you see the dust settle
watch the echo,
bouncing space debris off
past lovers, a fuck
reflections of people you think
talk to yourself
with this new body you found
looking alone with her
wrapped around you.
forgot the words, or
only remembered poems
about falling space dust
ricocheting off some body
turning over and over in your awake
sleep, pretty when you
no, snoring is love,
no this unattractive pile is love
my love, dark as space between
another sun
dust on emptiness, you
you, and the grass growing
under the snow
the beard with all twigs
being afraid of people leaving
or wanting to
lost in a world like china,
not unlike the attractive middle of nebraska
the arms don’t know their chest
well, imploding
she thinks it’s useless to talk to them
but still talks to them.
22 March 2011
21 March 2011
15 March 2011
banana poem
so i was walking with this banana in my pocket that i was going to eat for lunch
and i kept wondering if people would say hey
is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me
you know, as it goes
and i wouldn't know what to say if i WAS happy to see them
the either or, black or white
as if this banana in my pocket
causes me to hate everyone.
so i was walking with this banana in my pocket that i was going to eat for lunch
and i kept wondering if people would say hey
is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me
you know, as it goes
and i wouldn't know what to say if i WAS happy to see them
the either or, black or white
as if this banana in my pocket
causes me to hate everyone.
14 March 2011
11 March 2011
where we
i was never more separate
than free, zone
off what i want to need
who i am, roll
down the window a crack
wind says whistle
jump while running
jump while standing
stand still
when the shit is scared out of,
i am sorry i loved you
i am sorry i lied
i am sure
about something,
my heart
never caught up with my aging.
i was never more separate
than free, zone
off what i want to need
who i am, roll
down the window a crack
wind says whistle
jump while running
jump while standing
stand still
when the shit is scared out of,
i am sorry i loved you
i am sorry i lied
i am sure
about something,
my heart
never caught up with my aging.
09 March 2011
08 March 2011
07 March 2011
brass tacks
showing you/ your best hands
look like a mirror or all your hands
trophy wife gets old
legs fall off at my bites.
buy shoes again, waste of it
all the walking,
a room carpeted in greenbacks,
sweat your chops for midwest summer
job,
feed off/ the dying
you laugh at me when i come in fear
say, how are you.
answers fall from outterspace.
showing you/ your best hands
look like a mirror or all your hands
trophy wife gets old
legs fall off at my bites.
buy shoes again, waste of it
all the walking,
a room carpeted in greenbacks,
sweat your chops for midwest summer
job,
feed off/ the dying
you laugh at me when i come in fear
say, how are you.
answers fall from outterspace.
03 March 2011
jesus
make me feel august as a car drives
get it just standing next to the bus
by all the other busses
i used to say that i have read
all the lord of the rings
but i never have.
there is only one city named Iowa City,
where i am from.
people say, jesus a lot. here.
kyle, i know, is out west where he's from.
i have no patience to head west. jesus.
he said, girls are a headache for sure.
i drink normal coffee drinks
and name them things.
like god would if he drank normal coffee.
when i wake up,
or i said the only things that get me going
are women and coffee.
she takes too
long.
over here under the colored light,
we pretend things are always.
i speak about drugs,
or tell people my father almost died.
inside i am almost me,
and growing some.
make me feel august as a car drives
get it just standing next to the bus
by all the other busses
i used to say that i have read
all the lord of the rings
but i never have.
there is only one city named Iowa City,
where i am from.
people say, jesus a lot. here.
kyle, i know, is out west where he's from.
i have no patience to head west. jesus.
he said, girls are a headache for sure.
i drink normal coffee drinks
and name them things.
like god would if he drank normal coffee.
when i wake up,
or i said the only things that get me going
are women and coffee.
she takes too
long.
over here under the colored light,
we pretend things are always.
i speak about drugs,
or tell people my father almost died.
inside i am almost me,
and growing some.
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