21 November 2013

HEARD BEFORE


got fired for writing poetry
dangle off the cliff its the grand canyone
again and again it is saying jump
the bridge is popular
a choice many make to get further from the asking river
it calls out like mirah singing in yr car
spring some year before you ever met the girl
you are in love w/ right now
where are the fireworks
i can see a summer almost every turn
it goes w/o saying i need an escape
from this brain
i remembered walking on a railroad track
w/ my family when i was young
it was strange bc we rarely did things as a family
picking up small animal bones
and discarded iron spikes
i kept one for a few years
before leaving it somewhere

20 November 2013

A NOVEL


i was laying on my side
not far from the ocean
it was june

where does the wave go then
i take a few drugs
or something

here we are on a world
going to
the next
POEM


i cant just say
i love you
in a poem
6' AND LETS CALL IT AN INCH


well aware
dig dig dug dug get out the bug
sing song in a closet
imma bad monster
brain goes
say rude, say baby
comes back to today today
it's where i am at
in a class room 1994
walking down a train track 1992
stung by jellyfish or something 1990
i think i am just thoughts
tho
whisper i love you too
drink from the same water glass for years
i wrote on the back of a piece of paper
something abt running away
something abt killing my father no
i never could i drove around north of columbus
christmas day
it was a sunday
in the 2000s i dont remember exactly
i dont remember
 
today


thought, i have such a small brain
in my huge human skull
i am crazy
i mean i haven't slept in awhile
or didn't last night
did

19 November 2013

BLOB DYLAN

what do i have left
and debt
he goes to 0 as
a climb
she says i sound
how mtns became mtns
im twirling my thumbs
to say something
standing outside
thinking abt how
we know it will snow
later this week
sometimes i want to scream
but i dont know how
i will move my body
i will shake my ass
at the windy nothing
the pushing of rock against more rock
i mean cold magma
i saw the sun today
im going to go outside
and look for the moon

EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED


i feel sick and i have to pee
but i dont get off work for the next
17 minutes i asked off work
christmas eve and also the day after
christmas but i have to work
or i will probably have to work
i have no idea and i want to quit my job
what would travdogg do?? i told paul
i wanted to write like a novel or something
maybe 3k poems and i want to go to europe
and i want to do other things w savings
and shit that i cant get right now but will
and maybe i will get a drivers license
and and and i used to always use amersands in
my poems or only ampersands &
i dont do that much anymore
but im not really into following rules
and i like changing like i feel bad but i
started smoking again in chi
i was alone and i
dont think anyone was awake

13 November 2013

I DREAM IN PAINTING


never say no time delay heaven is words
to be solid i am holding your hand 
as i dangle my body
off a windy cliff in idk germany
what is this building you grab me in the morning
say NO WE DON'T but you asleep
i am washing the darkness off my teeth
it goes gusty for the gulls from the west
called me to listen to their trashy diet
the thud of my down a small rock from space
billowing dust of all these things here
i am on a swing or you are swinging
my hands on your back
how do you know i am not a tiger
the size of pleasure on rained skin
warm me
in my water home a float master
calm as an arrow
they say??
i am dancing
watch my blood jiggle
find sleepy blond messages
slipped into my beard
i believe in you in the desert
thrashing in your sleep
call me darling
pull me into the brush of color
adding me and me and me is here
for you to grasp in a fever
whisper from an inch away
i have reached my limit
for being so far from you
and move closer
breathing heavy not because i will
eat you whole
i mean i wont
but call me tiger
as i sprint thru some bavarian valley
collecting every flower i can find
sleep in a hotel bed
or the ground
there is snow high up where we won't go
or are going
tell me what is flooding you
i will love every moment
your mouth moves over
my body a disaster a toothless smile
pressed against glass
counting the price of death and loneliness
as if i have it near me
swallow each globe as we surf the universe
on our backs or curled and twisted
to one body under a car roof
fucking and whiskey and my first
cigarette is a poem for you you you
i am writing home is a monster
i want to know where
the line washes away
stand on mountain i mean
i am a stand on the mountain top and yell
jeg elsker dig!!!!!!!!
out the bones of what i can shout until my
lungs flatten out against you
tears all over my face
because this is so beautiful
the destruction of storms w. i would
stand anywhere under an umbrella
press face into face
until they call us a laughter
NBCSMS


walk funny
mixing blood w. the aerth
she wishs there were no atomic bombs dropped
i put a hat on
call strangers say to them i want to see
live here w. me
you are a sunrise
i want to kiss your eyes until you are looking
so far into my body
i dont even know whats down there
tell her how i am feeling
hold me
sometimes i wash what i dont need to clean
lay still in a pool in the early 90s
thinking abt one day
when i will kiss you after the bars
i am wearing layers
you smelled like green peppers
or they were there
there was just us in a room
and you looking into me
like a wanted thing
alive in a world
i am living on a world w. all of these reasons
stand in rain
i put on my best shoes to eat dinner
w. your parents
i want to be hugged until the end of time
where are you where are you
my brain is a canyon
i learned to swim
swam to the bottom of all of it
to touch your hand
save you anywhere
even if i cant
there is ice


i crash
started smoking in winter
bc i don;t know how to stop sliding
watch you in my brain
in the outside of me
i am wasting wine
there is a sink in every room
i swallowed so many pills in pilsen
my father used to mock me
for mumbling
until i would cry in publick

12 November 2013

SHAVED 



naked
pound of rib hums precious wax
mind out of me nuzzle vegetable
grow i am a rainy day
leap from swing unconcious
push me drunk into sky
never come down
are you waiting on an island
draw my face in the beach
with a stick
dream of turtle eggs
times


thought i would start smoking
cigarettes in the morning
by the cold window
in chicago
you wrote
close
w red lipstick again again
i saw it closed once
before i smoked one
 you were asleep and i felt
 like i was falling down
stairs or wondered
what was down there

11 November 2013

LINGER ON YR



tell her
she is beautiful and i cant keep looking
for long periods of time
(?)

i want to drown in yr
body
make it a home

eat the entire forest
stuff me w
magic sticks you find

if i could kiss you
instead of breathing

tell her i love you
in a poem and read
the poem to her
and say i love you
and then write her
a poem and do other things
to make her happy
idk

i am looking at yr lips
and thinking abt
other planets
and places
w/o light
if you see her

tell her her winter touch
i am all rite
and i go the sno melt o!
say i love her
100x
 and my eyes are near days
of years of time whatever
exists between
she touches
my skin
my mouth wide as any ocean
that could swallow armies
  and bring me to my wandered
  bay
DOUBLE VISION

im not scared of
i wish
i was beautiful i can be vowel
oh
tell me
how water falls are worth
standing under
be cold w me
wear my coat
i am an escape to other
need to see
where i am going
not in a hammock feeling wine drunk
smoking 2 year old weed
in your childhood treehouse
i mean i am
teleporting thru my blood
to be in my dreams of you always
a painting of the way
and i can go thru any tunnel
i slap onto the side of mountains
with magical paint
THE GENIE OF ROCK FALLS


i am asleep my body i dont know
who it is
i wish i could get away fr
ummm
my ankles itch i have been waering the same socks
all weekend
i acted like a child i guess im still young
i wished too at the toys r us on n 27th
before both my grand parents died
and i got like 6 grand and bought a gold volvo
and several bottles of nice whiskey
i drove drunk a lot
i really thought that my life was improving


HOLD ME 


i am awake
smoking a cigarette by the window
listening to rain and city
thinking i need more
and it makes me weak
i am curled in a bathtub w the water slowly filling
i am a memory of fireworks
the feeling after when you wonder
how excited you were for a brief
moment when there were bright lights
and the explosion
i am a secret because i feel pain inside me
that nobody understands
like im just you
like i can be healed by pills
or a come back to me in my cave
w a glowing stone
say there is sunshine somewhere for me
but i look out over foggy chicago
crying in my brain
think maybe if i am a dead walker
fill my lungs w poison water
i will cough until you wake up
and bite through my bones
i say stop
but you dont stop
and now i am nothing but food
for dogs and dead rats buried in the backyard
i want to be on a plane to space
i want to jump out the window 
w a parachute and float there until
i see what im really living in
before my blood boils 
or whatever happens to you
out there

10 November 2013

MDMA



PILSEN

walk up red letter day unlocked
white man ran mexican
know the bus so the park in another
system doesnt take an hour if sober
me w ultimatums 
i am abandoned entertaiemt system
in the alley sure
someone will snatch
me up in minutes
but ok
i regret eating a few hundred mg of
all those pills on the table
i want to take a picture of you smiling
next to me
but tou fighting a memory i  making
turns me into slime
i am radioactive ooze
your parents pet turtle will skateboard
out of his aquarium 
and rip out the necks of any passing stranger

dumbass

walk two to 3'blocks here 
we are leggs pump

08 November 2013

iowa 2013

blasting drake in elizabeths car so 
loud she turned it down
the traffic is garbage
i travel back to the 90s you
s'd it was 1999
but i don't remember you then
early 80s and well into my adult boyhood
or so i called it
i mean i was a very small river
some would refuse my 
name it is so stupid you saw
the hole in my shorts
im just an excuse
to see tears for
some of these fake moose sculptures
i yell stoned from the passenger seat
dolphin sounds
i mean i am actually cliking like
a dolphin or 
i fell in love w a color tv when i found
scrambled porn in 5th grade
cried in the closet holding on to the cat
my parents made us give away
he used to lay on my face when i was sleeping
and i loved him too

05 November 2013

TREE POEM

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ALONE
I AM AFRAID OF FIRE
EVEN MORE THAN ANIMALS WHO CAN RUN AWAY FROM IT
 
MOONPIX

her magic hand lungs my key
ripcage opens to lock
a silly soulguy im just feeling blu
here in my shining
moonbase i can see earthjobs
i miss kissing you on the mouth
while im getting paid to deth
feeling darkness hug me no this is dark
place around my asleep body
is next 2 u
in the water we can't see showering
after allnight against me
it's so weird what we think is sexy
the smell of you unwashed
long into the day after day after
i want to dance w you
let you know where my hips are
when there is no light
nibble on yr ear from behind
say i love you
but you don't hear me
so i say it again
we are mntns
climbing each other
we go shoop
into the sky like flying humans
 

01 November 2013

OWN THAT SHIT

jung pup howl at  a moon is
like she can hear my arf
the dogging ear
barking up wrong   who is a tree

these days
i stand w/ a wait for my life
to be touched     my mossy over
side or climb and   cut me down

whet my worst dullblade
ouch in the shed of ancient weapon
it tickles

call out
TOUCH ME

I KNOW YOU LOVE ME

we
but, whatever... and time.... cash
out selling my sellout life trail of
weepy alone in the solo apt drinking
a nice midshelf whiskey and tap
craft beer for company
please keep me

cold in the icebox singing
blue weezer

my slow simmmer she says a sun must
be near but i know
who is glowing inside this globe of bone blue
kept at a distance bc
bc
bc
bc
and then what
swallow
an ocean???