30 August 2013


If you want to die
after fire
But in modern whales, blue sanctions
Song of Death
                          all deaths
death, life, illness, and always
               The development of the disease. God only knows
                   we are   learning
I want to eat
           it is too late    
Dead fish in the sea
bone polish


29 August 2013

for bob fyfe

i can barely remember
telling me and my brother
a story about a giant
who took care
of two boys
it made me so happy
what happened
to you?

to be honest
to say i am not afraid of being locked up for the rest of my life
wheni am drunk and cruising in a metal killing box
a monster truck destroying
classic automobiles
make my arms dance like windy blow things grass bits
i am a fresh mow i am a folky bluesy lemon giving god
hear my whimper from the dark
and ask for me to come inside
i can not survive
outhere in the cold
my mouth around my thumb
this is sucha  stupid state for me to stay in
eat my hope of a future i can just be around all these families
i dont need my own
i have never had a home it just blows its just a muddy pile
of my own mistakes one after another
i get stuck at the bottom of a hill
so i will just stay here
on a lake
the sun is setting
i feel safe all the time and thats what i need to get away from
poem for kurt vonnegut

i have never read your novels
but i have read welcome to the monkey house
a few times
i love it
i was going to buy the audio book
so i could listen to it at work while i do this mundane
data entry type shit
but it is 21 dollars
plus change
that is insane
since you are dead
i wish you were not dead tho
i wish you were here next to me telling me
whatever you wanted to say
just keep talking
keep pushing air out of your lungs
poem for my father

i wrote at the top of a piece of computer paper
that i would run away
from home
when i filled the page
w/ checks
every time i wanted to kill you
i filled up the front
and the back
and i stayed anyway
you kicked me
in the ribs
you made me cry and feel weak
bc it was a way for you
to have control
over something in your life

28 August 2013


midnight in california
stop at every deny's
order the same thing
maybe get toast tho

this time
we can shift
it is jelly it is an apple jelly
or mixed berry

i didn't mean to die in a desert
i was hoping
for much more water
 on my last day

when i am awake and dream
or my remembering dreams i know im dreaming
or am already in a dream we sleep and sleep
sometimes i am already asleep when i fall
from the memory of me falling 
or father or is a face in the dark or a swung door
i love u
they say w their foot on yr ribs
the crack of leather your father is a terror
he haunts you awake when he is not evendead
i sleep and most things die from my mind
but these fuxking dreams
fevered by delirium by drug
by my here asleep here awake
my throat is sore were you poisoing me i ask me
of course of course of course

27 August 2013


Where can I get a new brain
How can I get long hair
I do not care
I do not care
Suicide every other day
I swallowed every day or time
I feel that many people
I fear for the day
I missed my life, as
On the slopes, and
My arms are thick or thin, I do not know how to measure
My blood islands
I know I'm fat.
I hope everything is taken
I'm hungry for joy, because I sometimes eat
To cover salt and neck juice
Dr. traders
Dr. traders
I have a good feeling dependent
This world is so bad
a crystal mouth

i translated
yr poem until it was nothing
i was born
and am a different child
of earth
she warms me
this is a warning of hot iron
names me a need for water
i am obsessing
w the eraser
mindwipe wash my knees
to the feet
w what is dyed
my hands blue from berries

fat lip
 keep at a damn
gnaw my
to a grain
of nothing
 is kept

26 August 2013


had this dream after u left
this morning sometime after 4am
i woke up in my bed in a dark field
that i thought i remembered tho
definitely was nothing i had seen
just some mush of images from a car
speeding down nebraska highways
i used to always imagine myself riding
thru the ditches on some motorcycle
i would always crash and die
i could never make it very far
it was comforting


whats ok whats my body smell
like my flavor
 taste my take me away from here
    whisper a funny word tell me a love me
        a door a floor a me
   a roof party is for the shiny night time
      glow is just reflection of a past light
        i am looking a the ground below
i am racing home on my bike
      its 3am i must be
                          where are these hot days from
                      you must be a 90s baby to not sweat
the small stuffed into my smaller eyeballs
      i can see where you are because the internet
 was invented
      but it is just my hand on your back and a wiggle
a chill from what time it is now
        i am forgetting to be able to talk normal
      i mean i can't stop making
out of this world a box in a box in a creativity of a child
thinking i dont need to be gifted
           to have what i already need
           a brain is an easy thing
             to waste
               because we think
 and i can't see past what is touching me
        wind on my cheeks
            my shaggy face dancing
              my bottom lip dragged on the ground
               i am all knuckles from the tongue
                 in tongue in
       who is vibrating their throat at me?
who is calling me
their baby
vyvanse is like super adderall. blueberry red bull is blueberry flavored red bull..

the raw lip talks a soul mouth
a sofftner is pulpl is evander holyfields of wake up in a nightmare
where u
girl this is getting invasive this is getting excited
high all the time i cant get high bc i am high all the time
chewing my face-off
i am a peach eat me for hours i don't remember
waking up for work in the a/m
this is sundertay? this is frizzleday??
who mundanes me
who calls out to the moon asking for sunshine and says
this glow will satisfy me
until the spring comes
or the children of capitalism screaming in my ears
wake up and make us our coffins
stand in the light of money i will bury you
in your own sweat
or something i am being a dramalamadingdong
over here thinking how can i even speak abt you
my cauliflowered tongue dry from a touching
these are nightmares i have of swimmiing
in dark fields when you are gone
and i am in a home that was never mine
blueberry redbull is blueberry flavored redbull

24 August 2013

vyvanse is like super adderall. blueberry red bull is blueberry flavored red bull

who am i
my heart hurts
diet coke fried food booze
these blonde girls
my stupid mouth
i am
brains for a weekend
i am experiencing missing you and you 
and think oh this one girl
or think oh i will text shannon
bc i didnt really
delete anything
but i just
want to go swim in the ocean
at night last july
in north carolina
before i even had half
of these feelings
thought i
would be out of this
but i miss 
nothing its just future i want
i am a gross thing
i am draining the blood out of my bruise
it is a mystery
where these feelings come from


poor boy
pour poem i am
RT sad thoughts
delete all my tweets
swim against a river
 of salmon?
who am i
covered in slime
 in my throat
wish to unremember
 my scared eyes

23 August 2013


trying to be a new machine

wet, wet, wet, wet,

im like, craving favs

im up in arms missing lips

fall down stairs


where the floors at

wehre u

im always like, in these situations where i start to feel really great
and someone says HEY JUSTIN
and idk man

im a kid im a kid here in a world i have only had like 3-4 really good chances
to make a decent sand castle

a tree house

a path to new something not there yet not seen yet a falling tree
so quiet

where to say i sasasasad     here i put away
      my shit
 i have a lot of
weighty wearing......        hi my laundry
  take me in a warming gaze
     i speak stupid
 cuz i drank jameson
 i drip
 into the street gutter
         slide into raccoon land
                  become their pirate leader
           im forgetting something tho......
        my imma human being
         imma marshamarshamarsha
          imma so slimy im a slimer im slmmmm
  mushy toe
its a yawning yard
  its a waste of land
its forgetting whats a toaster
 where my bloood should be
         who uses these cells anyway??

22 August 2013

haiku AA

i am obsessive
ing ing for my body dis
olv i vanished
eastern colorado

remember i said idk what i said abt breakfast
i don't read the poems i wrote for you
i never even look at them

i went to colorado the next day
i was feeling ugly
i was feeling in love w/ you

i remember thinking it seems as if there is no air here
i am barely breathing
i smoked cigarettes then and continued for some time

sometimes i think abt your insane cat
how he clawed my dick while i sat in your chair
after we had sex

i thought taking a bath w/ you was awkward
but i would have done anything
to be naked w/ you
for T.B.

i started to think time isa lie
my bodies rate of accidental deths compared
to how much i write, the poison

the form can be slow or hell, has a name &
recalls the words before the bell,
"it is time to order"!

or did the beast say my time was over??
i am fading
my earliest memories of a happy predator

shadows are windows too
i see nothings tip across a home
glass slipper powerless colors shatter shatter scatter
arose fine lady with her naked creamfeet in my mouth
it is a game with no rules am i drooling

from my hallelujah blow
during years of being here in a world
i am losing wrapped in a simple smile

an opening a sound of wounds plays my strings
she sings life is a gulf where we
spend money, win, learn to dance, neglect
my blood was taken from my body, and i verbalized space
. to where the hell New York, association

New York: friend will wig, hide, make up stories
--out of nowhere
or simply inspire other unfortunately dead
old and new ones, like i did. i
around 29 years, often muddy for
reification we is a ship sunk, or thinking shit luck

why do i own all these names in my head??
there are new words, almost more than i love you
paul has the honor of digging for me

but i'd rather not be
the only entrance to. blah i am heavenly
love & work
you will die, & so on

here is a stone for me to roll away
but there is nothing inside
so many good songs for me, my sons, and sorrows

my time---- all gone
i grew up in a bullseye & i will bury
the severed head in my heart. it is damned, my last poem
came faster than heavyair of a quiet night
letters of the word chosen at random, fires my brain

at work & in bed & in arms around a barrel fire
but she is my love is my last poem 
postdeth in silly im sorry, i too am drunk for nothing

 it is useful & necessary--

i'm sorry for my friends who called me,
i am sorry
So far, started his life than I thought. Under the name of the form you can see the author and my first ring. "This is the time for an order: "My memories of the meat dishes. pink and blue Glass Slipper about my ups and downs has greatly increased. It forces within the game is a simple packaging. I've missed running a silver medal I learned my blood

rats tied together makes one rat
paul is tired
of writing / we are on separate
desert islands
 staring at all these empty bottles
    we can flop around
       w/ boozey blood
 i am slowly emptying all of mine
      tryna get somewhere they say
mwen pa ka domi
 but who needs
   a way to forget
each nanoflood of my being
is transported
thru a dam

scrub my gums off
 peel me pummmmice my baby soft
  my brainhole
    my fuck me fuck me fuck me
    i ama chest of death
      monster thru the underbelly
        look out to pond for whales
         manage to move my lips
sleeping giant

i am fine
w/ disease in my face
 tongue fat slow for saying
smell of what i am walking on
drag my drugged body across the floor
on my knees i am a fruit to be discarded
in bruise count i fell
wake me wake me i whimper in a hushed throat
slug of my crying can barely muscle
through the air i am surrounded by
 it is worthless to breathe
 it is worthless to move at all
  i decay and the leaves blow
 i decay and the snow falls

i;m not a serious
i mean to be in stride w my cursing
         a fear of water i created for myself
         to hold me down
i am dirt
   i am too many ribbones holding my insides inside
 when am i going to
 sleep for the rest of /time/
  who goes there?
     i am sick w/ bengal stripes
       i can smell a roast slow cooking in the kitchen
     have they invented
     the miracle yet??
my dim eye my other eye sees
 grows large and black
 i am forgetting movement
 i don't even know
who i am

21 August 2013


this is my silly tattoo w/ n story
            i do not have a story im n srry
            abt want to b
          save them
         can't do a damn thing for them
       can chug honey w lips
      of beautiful ape
     face is shedding
    im going to cut
  of memories
     of my leave
          of a cave in a rocky crop
                that i lay down to sleep in

20 August 2013

@focra: @le_Justy goodnite sweet prince?

i know what i was thinking
i remember pinback was a time i guess i was happy
but that dream
in a dream
in a fuzzy wuzzalive pain in the mind
buttassnaked watching inception duh
this is a self portrait of 400 mg diphenhydramine
and maloriamolanolmonola new eee new orleans
nawlins paw paw paw
she kicks me
no she kicks me
no she she she kicks me
u r me
i am kicking me
bruh i lost it
myself my lips numb my limbs dumb
splash yr blood on my face
fav my teleprtation
i dont give a damn abt movies 
im just trying to kill my brain
is a v serious joke
until i wake up to the sounds of myself
laughing from the other room
at something that never happened

19 August 2013

this is me getting published

i’ve been listenjng to the lil b track
what you doin’
on repeat since u came
back from manhattan new york city new york usa
w my headphones in
singing on my bike
who are shadowz
what are private jets
i am a lake
dip yr piggies into my empty body
i dont believe in angels
i smell like a week old dead dogg
i am high as fuck
i keep singing
w this stupid voice
i get up for the sound of my self to hear what i can say
hear me scream
abt money$€£¥
when is u going to put yr mouth on mine
when can we watch ATL
in yr bed a few years ago
i am trustin
losing track of my own age
i bite myself off at the waste
to count my rings
who put
all this distance in me
bruh i lost it
i keep winking at the flicked cigarette i left in 2012
who am i
my youngself screams in a childbrain to the future me
i am the future
touch my body
put yr feet jn my mouth
i will wash u w my beard
carry the weight of my branches
reaching for another breath

16 August 2013


am i wait
for aliens
to bring us new rhinos??
can i joke here for a minute i mean its v sad
i wish
for things
and i wait for there to be a nebraska for all of us
                      paul asked me if i was going to marry you
                      and i said i would i said damn
                      but idk
         i have a lot of new twitter followers
            i am at work listening to this lil b track on repeat
                and i was thinking i wanted to write a poem
so here i am
           abt the distance of us or the distance of when i will see you
                  or when i am bored
                      we jus chillin
                        can u see me sitting here or being thrown in teh fire
i am sing
     shout or kiss the stormy me
          i am a sea boat
                i am hole in the side
                       sinking so high into the universe
                         this is where we are
                            we are in a world
                               yolo is p real i think
                                but who knows

09 August 2013


thundarr she dinks
dust uzi bunny
warshed my firecrackers
imma ded boy
a smiling spine 
that my forever life
drips sizzle and fearless morning
thru my escape bones
this is my home
i am horns blasting

08 August 2013

u fancy, huh?

these are my drunk arms
 going down to soft
   i can't wear most hats it is not my brain
     i say things at bars to emerac
        why i should keep driving
          it is bad for me
       lead goosey
         watching mighty ducks & mighty ducks 2
         at this YMCA lock-in w/ a bunch of other kids
who all fell asleep bc they dont see the luxury
       in being an owlboy
         all this cold pizza left to me me me me
          i have always been a thing to glow
           or stretch
            my memory my lucky quarter
            i keep moving
            but i'm still here
            surrounded by fresh kill

06 August 2013

a very mysterious process

my country is bankrupt, i do not think anyone laughs
the problem that i had?

       a good and best for you
                                               go, go, go, go, go,
i know what it is,
i think, ultimately, the council considers that it is not enough,
we are not words for enough time
           send to my soul my love.

05 August 2013


this freedom, justice and equality for all necessary measures. but nowhere else in the world of tomorrow. if you do not make the same mistake and win. the cost of the war and the enemy is not specifically a concern. but a lot of peace is without war, because it is too much for me to do violence, i left, and the united states and our dementia, cutting black hair, they can. but unlike the whites, when it was destroyed, i wanted to kill myself.
It is freedom, justice and equality for all necessary measures but nowhere else in the world tomorrow People but now Appointment Some of the boys I think what he says There is nothing But if you do not have the same error He won I am, and prizes and gifts enemies of war, do not worry In particular however the largest of peace not war There are too many for me to be not violent I would like to turn to the left, and U.S. and dementia Our Cup, I'm black, they can be, I will pour was electric Letter in its entirety I basketball and not in exchange for changes in land use Disease whipped cream bar I know Almost everyone sad He just yelled combat But anger has changed Whites are the enemy when it is destroyed I like to kill me.