28 June 2013


fuck salt
i am a mask wearing a mask of me
a green dancing scuznuttsoidofuckalucka
flame me
bury me under treasure i want to die in gold
i hate the cold
i want to lay face down on a hot stone
and melt into a secret ooze
turn my tween friends into super cool chodes
licked stamp types
sticky to hands and glass climb yo ass
like spiderman he is amazing
life is somewhat amazing when you are not dead
all the time
i feel dead a lot of the time
come find me fight the smog to pull me out of
all these coins and jewels and sweaty pile of wealth
how am i nacht a yacht owner RN
i am so out of water
which is to say i have no $$$$$$$$$bling
i have no stinger
i am just a worker or a honey sludge
gasses out the ass from my crushed hopes
and dreams
and i have these brief i love yous
that seem to be worthless
other than their use
in making me care
about living
poetry wont save me
the ocean only wants to kill me
the trees are waiting
i cant even remember the other things
this world is so i told you so
i am going outside in a couple hours
going to sweat
going to get runover by my emotions
fuck salt as it cakes on my face
my blood pillars
in a look back at all the wasted shoulders
i have shared
or neck twisted buzzing gum rub up against
my smarter than this
me a stupid fuck
an ice cube on the sun
fuck salt i guess
i dont know what i am saying

27 June 2013


nothing is true
nothing is right
i want
to be w/ you
i want to be a man or something
i want to lie next to you
and make promises
and belive what you say
and come back
and dance
and push me playfully against the street
and wash off my dust
w/ dirt
and my face feels like the moon
when i reflect every thing
abt you
heck girl
heck i dont know what is good
or what i love
or if i love you
my body doesn;t feel
bc of some word
like death
or you make me feel
i enjoy

what am i so afraid
of this is my YOLO
i mean this is my
i mean hell
i mean hell this is my
last chance
this is i am sleepy
this is stay up all night
or get some juice
or figure out
how i can become
some beautiful

feeling weak and wanted
& vibrating phone
is just favs and RTs and @
from not u
from who knows
i felt stupid
how much i was enjoying
you rubbing my head
at the bar
when i was writing a poem
abt being in the bar
w/ you
both bars we were at
i ordered
one bombay sapphire gin and tonic
& two shots of georgia peach
& had another georgia peach w u
this is georgia font
& i have been wanting to watch
the movie ATL
which stars TI and takes place
in georgia
once i walked Georgia home
when i was on ambien
& absinthe
& i dont remember much of that
& i guess i feel stupid for being
so excited that you were talking to me
that it was hard for me to pay
attention to what you were saying
something abt stars
or how blackmatter was everywhere
& i was really drunk
& stoned
i remember you being happy
w/ how soft my head is
& we went to go smoke after bars closed
or whenever we left
idk what time it was
& sitting next to you was kick ass
& then you asked if i would walk you home
& answered for me
of course
& i was just happy
& i kept my hands in my pockets
but i wanted to hold your hand so bad
& i know thats p stupid i guess idk
it is just really nice
it makes me feel great
i was like idk i know  you don't want me
to come inside
so i was looking like a dumb dog
& you held out your arm for a hug
& i hugged you
& i wanted to keep hugging you
until the sun
& night
& sun again
& you said it was nice to see me
& and then i went home
& wrote another poem

25 June 2013

dumb god

stay up all night
i cant do that
i think about killing myself a lot
idk if i would
but i like to know my exits
molly said i am a bad person
shannon said i am a frustrating person
or idk
im a loser
ellie says what if
ellen wasnt happy w my effort to work
alejandra idk
eva just wanted something else
idk idk i am a boring fuck
i am a slimy drunk
i hate me sometimes
i hate feeling so shit
i hate shi
suckerpunch my dumbface ya i love yr voice
ya i am a dying saltyslug sun sweating his dickoff
to do the dew to just grew it to find my farm
deep in the field of skin my body is a gross
i sex the muddy waterholes of southcentral nebraska
i get raped by internet girls in san antonio
i am scared of being so many things
or saying what i think could really remove
a part of me from the rest like i am saying maybe
i only get drunk to drown out birdsongs
or i smoke so much my brain goes numb
because because
what is the difference
between a dead god
& walking out into a wilderness
w/ raw meat hanging from my shoulders
i would like to be fired rn
i mean i would like to be the sun
or hell idk what i mean
this is just sweat
this is just my blood and tears
& look at me dripping rainbow cum on the frozen tundra
where is the water now
there is nothing left to sip from
but my own lusty kidneys
a stone lodged in my
i am beating w a staff made of dead tree guts
until i can flood my heart
w something less syrupy
where am i going??
to die of course
hopefully outside
so i can watch the
dumb god

i am dirt

i am dumb god

i am broken ribs

i am kicked

i am a speeding death that can't see my collison

i am drugs

i am across the sidewalk

and into the hospital

i am fireworks exploding on illegal days

i am on mushrooms

i am reading a poem to humans

i am bleak or blank or bla bla bla

i am squashed between yr pretty toes

i am forgotten

i am a bad friend to molly

i am on mdma talking in a dance

i am talking in dance

i am at work wearing the same pants i wore yesterday

i smell like a man

i look like a gross boy

i look like a thing w a beard

i miss my dog

i miss how much my dog loved me

i miss being loved that much

i miss my dad before he killed my dog

i miss my dad before all the other terrible shit he has done

i mean i am not calling my dad hitler

i mean i am not calling my dad george w bush

idk i mean i am just a head smash

i am just a cement slide

i am just perfect teeth

i am just crooked shins

i am just glass stuck in the foot

i am dumb god

i am burried under all of my memories

i am blurred by smoke that won't cover me enough


20 June 2013

dumb god

she kisses me

she regrets me

she leaves me

she texts me

she necks me

she pukes and pukes

and sleeps next to me

she tugs on my arms

she leads me

the trees are naked for months me

she teases me

she takes shots w me

she tweets me

dances on the edge of a roofs me

she rebukes me

she pukes and pukes and kisses me

she listens to me

she ignores me

she kisses me

takes a rest on the bench w her arms around me

she yells at me

she we can make this work ifs me

she drowns me

she flirts w/ other guys in front of me

she drunks me

she texts me

we are kissing

we are not speaking

i am hiding

she buries me

she digs me

she breathes me

she spoons me

she melts me

she pulls poems out of me

& this goes on and on i guess

18 June 2013

am i my brain??

every time i see yr name
hear yr name
see u tweet
every time
it makes my blood
go quick
thru my body
and i feel that
and idk it is nice i guess
but also scary
i would like to hold yr hand
and go this way
or the other way
it doesnt matter


14 June 2013


shake me from the tree
& wait for the bruise to ripen
i am sweeter w/ death
mush for the fuck up
the falling in(fatuation)
edit my skin off w/ yr tiny bites
peel me to the skeleton of
what i never said high
in branches w/ the nested
i am fur for yr fingers
i am poison for yr liver
i am shouting a deathray
i am boring and this is my universe
i am seeds for the next me
the newest evolution of
wrap around yr finger
of my sugary sweat
my under sun death
heating through my chestbrain
a mirror or a shiny metal surface
my humming warmth
up against the thief
the world is taking back
my stardust
my fuckdust
my iloveyoudust
i am a waste
i am a field for cattle
or i am the grass grass
& the grass growing
ready to be eaten again
a new life
a new shitty existence
is still the most beautiful
gift i can wish
to be the tallest love in the sky
reaching for what grows me
say i knew her once
she touched my skin
& here i am now
w/ nothing but what is inside me
a dancing clakkity ghostman
a boy w/ too many tears
flowers spring around my weepyjaw
i am hidden by a body you see
that was once this
or this
or this
& now i am fatter or fatless or fattest
touch my fatty w/ yr softness
sizzle my sag in reaching corona
when will it reach us
when will she return
to devour the universe
the boring speck
i am alive today
i am tanned under gravity
branded by the loss of weight
the chugg of manmade potion
makes you fall for it
makes you crash for it
makes you destroy the world
for how ugly i can be
i know it is only a short while
before i can become
something else

12 June 2013

lunch poem

make yourself look like someone else
think famous
roll into a ball
keep doing that until the sun is gone
invent a new water
let bears hybernate in your chest
crush pills
figure out why you are still here
work poem

if people couldn't see me cry at work
if people didn't know i wasn't stoned
you make me feel like a weak fool sometimes
i am sad and alone on earth sometimes
people i work w/ expect me to be able to joke w/ them
bc sometimes i am good at jokes
but sometimes i am crying and doing my job
and i tweeted a bunch abt love
i never said i loved you
i want to throw a broken bookshelf out the window
i want to ban myself for life
from everything
i took two free sandwiches from the breakroom
i ate half of one and threw the rest away
i am not hungry i just thought something free
would be nice
i am a weak fool i am lost in what day it is
i am not high right now and it makes me feel
like a falling weight
like what if i was in a plane w/ my father
and the plane was going down
and my father tried to make up for everything
he has done to me before we crashed into earth
i would not listen to him
i would go hide in the bathroom
i would take the last parachute
and throw it out the door
is the door open??
are we getting sucked into the atmosphere
what is breathable??
why am i sucha  weak fool sometimes??
i mean its all the time
i build up these muddy walls around my heart
i think maybe i am too cool for some people
i think maybe i am smart
and i am good at poetry
but usually i think i am a piece of shit
i am happy when people remind me
i feel like an asshole when i think anything good
about me
i have never saved anyones life
this girl i liked in highschool who liked my older brother
and probably several other guys was talking to me
about killing her self on yahoo instant messanger
and idk i felt good for talking to her
i felt good that she didnt kill herself
i kissed her in the back of my parents lincoln town car
in the garage
my brother came out to the garage idk
she asked me to prom when i was a sophmore
and i thought that was cool but it made my /bestfriend
really mad he wanted to fight me bc he loved her??
he also loved her younger sister??
man what the fuck am i doing
i dont sleep w anyone
and that sucks i guess idk
i can't wait to get high
or fall again
i am already tired of the summer
i want to leave this city
go to some other city
go to the country
go to the mountains
cover myself in redclay
shout at the moon until i die

11 June 2013

these plains and boring

smell like the loup
crick and bow
have guns and knives to bury in the backyard
dig me up a pool from my chest
to drown a party in
i have to bea  new moon to trust us or 
how high am i
the coast touches ocean
you touch my beard
my melting mouth
i am swallowed and spit and soaked into dirt
i taught myself to climb
i sleep naked
i am always naked
shaking my assss$$$$
i never broke anything but my boring face
this is useless
i am falling apart
and getting so good at the back together
but i keep losing bits and joints 

did you see my head in the tree?
i am rolling in a desert in a rave in the streets of omaha
did you see my arm in the dirt?

trying to find a path to beijing like that joke
like i can dig to hell
i am back to hell??
wash 666 off my clean skin

i want to sit down to dinner
i want to drink diet coke on a dock
in canada
lets do something lets be a poem
lets swim in the grass
feel fireworks burn through the inside

dont leave
be mountain flowers
peak peak peak peak peak
i am the valley
oh hi
oh hello again
oh touch my body i promise i wont fall


06 June 2013


maybe i am w/ the tide
these friends of mine say we know her
or we know the world of loving
and i dont disbelieve that often i think humans
lie less than starlight i guess i had all this gin in me
trying to steer off the seasonal drug binge
this is for the fall weather
this is for being in omaha
these are for the long dark
have fun in the greenest the sunshine
the split of sliding glow from ohshit it is a star too?
just us??
kiss me when you are drunk and also i will leave
w/ my lips on your forehead
i have had the best time w/ my clothes on
or would rather be nude all the time i guess
if i was in sunshine??? again but i have no shades
left them to the reach of night
a way for me to hide the fuzz in my glassness
or am i looking to jump off the bridge
am i really a masochist?? haha no way fuck that
i just dont shy from a few bops or kicks or rainy
walks home from the bars i keep thinking abt
but this is just so ..........
i mean the speed to my mouth i took the shortest
route i would kiss you until you never wanted
me to kiss you again and i would still kiss you if you
didnt want me but asked me to for any reason
i would kiss you if you didnt exist
i would kiss you today if you said kiss me
i would have kissed you a thousand years ago
if you traveled through time

05 June 2013


when i am around
munch away golden human what ever it was you tweeted
here is a fruit hat
here is enough bamboo to kill the local tribes
the walking forest of destroyers
or whats a habitat anyway is it a secret mountain bunker
is it a foamy mouth laying out shoes on
this shotgun is too long for kurt to dance on his own
gravy is what the skin smooths
she touches the closest muscle to my chest
and it melts me
let me look up the words
i am dancing too like some hospitalized uruguayan poet
he said poe poe poe was the master
and i started there some brooded brood
thought i was really in this new world
thought i could chew through tall grass
like madagascan ape things
you want one?
here's the honey to buy up the bunch
an endangered poison proof vegetarian
wasn't he before the blast blasted him to the sun
or she's not here anymore it's dark a lot now
walking home in the rain after bars
thinking aw shucks
what am i doing but drowning
swallow another drink like idgaf abt my body
this is just a fuzzy way a kool-aid party
tip back more and more bc it makes me funny??
hmmm but no.. its so much slower here
turning my insides into a calcified ooze valley
use glue to represent water in the diorama
of me trying to hold onto you a little longer