31 December 2012

this is my arm bending the wrong way
these are words my brain makes when it

29 December 2012


i'm gonna ride my bike to wal-mart
i'm not gonna go to the party
w/ all my friends 
bc i am sad
& when i am sad
i do stupid shit

28 December 2012


come home over bitter boulder
build me tower on top of tower
look down at clouds
beat my wings against my my my
taste is sky
watch my flying wag-it wash the blue
off your face
name any month to seem different
from where we are at now
or now
or now or now
reply to the mirror
abt how beautiful i always was
say fuck you mirror
say i still love you
for whatever reason
unmorphed season melting my weakness
ate my chest pain
direct the blood to my thought or void
or talk to me w/ yr teeter-teeth
chit chat abt the good ol' miss yous
back before i died an awful life
& lied abt the luck it took
to get over the mts.
asking to hold smoke
when you see yr breath
& i can't word hard enough
to say i am numbing
& neck is ready
to be pretty
so kiss the hell out of my magical
i am stretching
a million miles up the clavicle
i am a dumb guy
i am a wet dog
shaking dry in the living room
i forget
that nothing is forever
i mean at some point
there will be nothing
or no nothing
& so on
& i was listening to Brick
by the Ben Fold's Five
& it reminded me
of the yellow duplex
my family lived in
behind a KFC
& how we had to get rid
of our cat Sampson
& how i named him
after my favorite story character
who i never thought i could be like
because i was so small
but i guess i am
pretty similar now
& shortly after that i
started writing
abt how angry i was
w/ my life
that was 1993
that was when i first felt alone
when i was around people

i am a dumb salty mouth
i can't talk the way i'd like to be singing in yr ears
i am a ditch
i think my poems are stupid

27 December 2012



i am afraid i can't vomit you out of my stomach

i am afraid you can't see me through the window
of the sushi restaurant

no i am afraid you can

i am afraid i am not a brick
or i am one but
there is no one here to throw me

i am afraid i have lost all of my blood
& replaced it w/ you

i am afraid someone will read this poem
& say
i wonder
who he is talking abt, i wonder
if he will say her name

so if you google her name
this poem will come up


i googled
how long it would take to spend a trillion dollars
i looked up
how much it would cost to fly to NYC tonight
be there by 8 or 8:30
it was over twice what i had in my bank
i would have taken
a loan
from a loan shark

26 December 2012


god damn i want to crush bricks w/ my solar energy 
look at me glow from behind the moonsmile
look at me licking a roller coaster track
i don't think fear tastes sweet
but i can't control what my tongue is thinking
sometimes i slip on ice
sometimes i want to eat marshmallows
& talk sloppy
write goopy poems
do they have good air where you breathe?
how can i describe melting?
or i puff up into a billion bubbles
god damn i want to hug you again
there is no ooze inside my scatter spots
dripping up into space
i like making messes
i like when you grab me by the beard
dragging my face where you want my lips to be
everything is meaningless
i was shot up by sunny mushroom smoke to rock bottom
watch me as i go slow to summit
& plummet towards standing ants w/ no reason

in their actions but to keep
doing it
worship me the way you miss the smell of ocean

when you are stuck in the sky
& my stomping clod knockers
tracking mud around on the perfect carpet
of the perfect house
made out of perfect wood
or spell my name D.E.A.D.T.R.E.E.
on my gutsy trunk w/ a silly shape around it
named for its' juicy usefulness & power over
my mind. how has hell & debt been a worry of my rivering spine

my naked rain warmth
i want to dynamite every part of my sparkling

feel the bone plates shift in & out of molten me
making a new more mountainous me
where did my sores go
are they in these ears whispery
dipping their honey hands into my broosed brain?
what's goose?
what do you want from my body
this evening? i am dry
from too much of-a nothing
i am leaking empty from my holy polk-a-dotty body
i am not a lot of want
just an excited fresh young gun
hoping to experience the best things

the toxic things
the dreams of slime & running water
w/ their endless jobs of doing the same slobber
until they bust apart or are a part
taste my day as a star
i want to shoot lasers out of my eyes
there is so much inside of my skull
why am i exploding?
there has got to be a better way to save the world


where did my sores go
are they in these ears whispery
dipping their honey hands into my broosed brain?
what's goose?
what do you want from my body
this evening? i am dry
from too much of-a nothing
i am leaking empty from my holy polk-a-dotty body

shake my neck so the fruitbirds fall from my faceleaf
i am a crackity crick crooked from too much looking

20 December 2012


shoes) through lake fog
are they skipping
does this lip touch w/ my goldeagle maw
fly away ontop of rocks i stack
don't glide yr feather in my knees
i doubt
the sun's heat
i look at words on the ironwall & forget my own name
what i mean
a crowd
you are around
i like to ghost at the floating
move past metals
there i am
i was writing down poems to remember me by
bye bye
you look good
making those continents bounce
juggle melty ice cubes in yr cheeks
take one home to yr cat & his cat & the alley 
put sugar in yr mouthtank
i like feeling
& numb
i grow  potatoes in my throatcave
damn me
what can i find w/ eyes
in my bullshittery
my nose bleeds woodchips
onto my father's unfinished garden
he grows
whispers & peppers
& a leather belt

19 December 2012


why am i alive
shifting wealth underground to sky
how rich is my skin or my brain or my teeth
my thinking
is just another part of the soil
feel the rock grow inside my kidney lust
dark circles on hip & my raccooned mask
why am i not a mountain
w/ icy streams mazed down my face
bring fire & i am a pleasant farmer
friend to talk the leaves off
drove straight into the painted tunnel
flattened my face
it is strange that i adore you

17 December 2012


borne backs of armored
bucking that populates
a forest near an ovaling
my talk & look & antler guard
i cannot keep alive in gifted voice
i say the grass is taller than i was
the moss clings to a bark of mine
chewed through layered cover
a charging sharp & something
i mean the garden is fenced in
but the gate is open for
critters go & go as they they
first to nip away
sweet melon & bell pepper
i am lost as an eater
i grow larger as i wither

12 December 2012


i can't say
push sea
i am to explode
i go moon
into everywhere
would come
back aday
from gates 
of the end
to be 
blown up again
& just one
time in yr

11 December 2012


i am made by suits & i burnt my tongue on Wendy's chili
i am not in love w/ the construction of my self
but i like to imagine i am a-building
i have dynamite in my beard
a stick of dynamite just went off it blew away most of my thought process
i feel bald
i feel atomic bomby being ejaculated from molten earth
on december 10th during the last year of the first Obama administration
it was cold
& i didn't light my self on fire to play baseball
but i did eat Wendy's chili & read the lyrics to "caress me down" by Sublime
i have half a blown-off rockface
i am bouldered
my chiseled brickgrin biting through the nothing
or clay
i have mud under my nails
i am not on fire again still dowsed in gasoline
god damn i love
like a dumb puppy
chug the ocean w/ my eyes bubbling
if you ask
why i am storing all life supplies in my beard
i am leaving
or just a fair warning
if i leave i will keep all the things i need in my beard
it is a good idea
to not need so many things
you couldn't walk outside
& laugh at your eventual death
w/ out a ton of dumbshit falling to the ground
i am crying & cutting onions from the planet
i have always slimed on
i have lived on this planet w/ ghostface killah
but we have never met
i saw wu-tang in Chicago but he wasn't there
it made me kind of not care
abt what is in my beard
or i have one made up of several smaller human faces
like O.D.B.'s face stretched out over time
& loss
& remember to floss your pruney brain
i still have dynamite strapped on to my insane
chase me off chain me to a spaceship
it's blasting
it's fancy the way i walk
or shrug off the gold pieces of my jolly skull
pumping lava lard in my tubes
keeps my heart nice & oily
blink incessantly out of confusion
as the sun burns from inside my eyeballs
i just imagined what it would look like to earthlings
if i was crying on the sun
or some other bigger more beautiful star
ugly star
i am spitting assloads of hot cocoa onto frozen tundra
cowabunga cowabunga cowabunga
i don't have time for eyes
& the reverse is also true
which is liquid which is ice
which is everything
& i am shouting
at void
full of billions of things i don't need
i am a blur of sound
i am all teared up
abt how easy or not easy or shit
my head was wrecked
but it is only my problem if i believe
the problem exists
it is a mumbo jumbo
it never is 
& if it is
& i asked hollywood executives if i could be made
into a BAD BOY & they did it
& it was ok
& then the hollywood executives asked me
if i wanted to be a BAD BOY II
& i said yes
i am american
i burned my mouth on fastfood chili
because it is winter
& i am doing the things a life is supposed to have
done in it
like i am breaking my back
trying to make you believe in me
i am a funny man
this is my poem for you
& it is me
& i hope i am worth something
but fuck that man i mean fuck these suits
fuck the sun
society is a fuckn joke
i want to set all comedy on fire
& laugh smoke in & out of my lungs
like i am some kinda porno
made for morons who never even
saw a good movie
& i have popcorn in my teeth
everywhere my grinning is city pigeons
that don't have time for the trash
there isn't enough trash in the world
to build the trash mtn i have always wanted
i am stoned
so oblivious to the buried
my skelly crunches easily under earth
& i go ground water skinny dipping
below the skin of a doomed place
even if i was immortal the sun would still kill me
even if it didn't want to
i think it is so messed up that i have to die
& i want to laugh about that & write poetry until i stop existing
i mean i just bust
bust seams from my suit made suit
bust out of a name & a place & all the nouns in my blood
i have silly things in my mind i have them
& i am a lazy comet
i have star stuff in my beard
& i am laughing at the galaxy that wants me back
& the back that i am breaking
or a new perfect back
that can carry the weight of my thinking
slowly letting it drip down the drain of what i am saying
what the hell am i saying
what is the point to all this wonder
meandering on a pebble
floating in black water
w/ infinity growing from my face
i have time in my beard
or i have put it there
where i found it snoozing
& i will leave it alone
& i will forget it's name but sing songs of it still
& i will eat my beard
& time
& all of you
i am the sun
i am sorry there is no stopping me now

09 December 2012


i am rocketships
saw you
i was a dreambean
i was on brain away
skip-it onto cloud cover
the winter hangs
i am nude today
you standing
where i say
as i come running
it is just a distance
the way it takes
for some things to happen

07 December 2012


what if i was real
or i imagine
or i write abt paul or dead paul
or paul's dead brother
idk where the next
horse bloats
she is pullin a lotta nothin
tug tightrope around waist
tuck yr tongue into your pants
i guess that

my brain hurts
i am thinking maybe the moon landing isn't real
or paul mccartney is dead
& john knew & george knew & ringo is
my brain hurts & i watched too much x-files
or i watched the right number of 'em
& idk jack abt who shot J.R.
but i know he died this year for real
i mean for real
i wrote a poem about J.R.

06 December 2012


you feel like crap
like how shit is
to smell like roses
or something else about getting smashed
in the brain
by a big fuckin motorvehicle
i can't put my finger on it
that's digusting
that's a cannonball of universe stones
skip at sky
fire in yr pants
you or yr god or the ocean is a liar
i am made of water
or 100% stars
or my mind is shit is mush
is me snorting
relax man
i am the stacks of cans of recycle
the moon man
the vitamin man
i gotta jet or i gotta airplane license
across the ocean
i am a sea swing
shake the scales off my collison face
singy shark bite marks around the neck
who is poking my underhood
the heel dents on my sp ce door
she kicks me
off the cliff
of the sun
i mean i am on fire
or i am the dotted line to sign
for a billion buckaroos
shucking shellfish
thinking about your lovely face
hidden in the middle of the world

05 December 2012


time waited by infinity
to bring this jagged sooncorpse
to be a sunshine for now
my ways away end is a smiling croca
doctor please pull me from the darkness
i shake bits of nowhere from fear
of who i will always be
i am a shot horse head
i am the unmendable broken leg
i am advanced science
i am immortal
i am burn slow
yr so show me darling wave light
turn on my temperature
the elements of my bath eyes
squash the peg from yr neck
i too was a bad & good as distance allows me
for child or my parent breaks past
to crumble under the weight of zero
i speak in sports or ways to make my man
be more like a decent human 
she knows me 
or yr baby grows too
i am & always will be fluid or months weather
before it is supposed to be warm forever
the sky on the moon goes to the same heaven
i mean to always a friend i can be
no matter who fathers
no matter what comes from our bodies
or who calls past a home
but fear of what is ahead
are you scared of living
are you the dawn before i wished summer to stop
creeping towards the cold alone existence
i have found
i dont know
but i am here
& then i will be there
i am small
until i become everything

04 December 2012


i have a beard
i am made of bricks
& deathrays
but my beard is just a normal human beard
maybe longer than some
maybe fuller
i am a field of dead grass
a beard
wheatfield or lion or
i have a beard
i am alive
i hope
there is something good


you're like
doe he?
i microwave
it's small vibrating
or i do again
or i glue my fingers together
i fix my teeth
i am a dentist
i am a fence
a mile is
in outter space
i say
i am drunk a lot
but i
don't have it in me
i just want you
to know
how young
i am
to the mountains
i mean we compare
to immortals
the idea
of not dying
it's fruit
it's food
it's shit
it's dirt
it's sprout
it's tree
it's fruit
i am going to be going
i am just circles
made of curved perfect
or just was
just is

hey lady
where are you going w/ my head
w/ w/ my skully
hey spit gobs of split atoms or dirt
or piss tank 
i am against all odds
or oddballs or basketballs
or i've got big muscles
lots of meat 
it's against the rules
i am down today
i am down w fire
hey paul
i am on fire
sound alarm
ask for yarn
this is just rachaels pussy poem
this is just a choo choo chug
a flaming flamingo
you're only allowed to burn
in the winter
this is to prevent fuel
or the thousand year old bridge
i have sworn to protect
no not slash & burn
now blazed earth now blazed justin
kicking down the strong glass
pipe house that paul built
his brothers house
his dads brothers house
& so on as that is pauls family tree poem
my dad's little brother killed himself
i mean he was maybe 40 something
i saw my uncle Rick a fee weeks bef
i waved at him
i always thought he was very sad
not like ha ha sad idk
Mr. Steinbrook my plains history teacher
in high school always thought i was high
he asked me if i was Ricks son bc i looked
just like him
& i kind of did
he had a beard 
there were no toothpicks in it
i wonder who threw his head
i wonder what happened to his heart
i mean there were no toothpicks in his beard

03 December 2012


ich bin ein buuuuh
over my braincliff
so much
look lazy
get puffy
i am feeling gross in my brain
i would like to remove my brain
& start over w/ a new brain
no no no no
& songs
i hear
& words abt words caring abt words
where words come from
why did you spell words wrong
my dick is average
my brain is slack
my chest is coughy la la
update my shit
on a file
taste schtick
read my texts right now
my skull cries
fruit pies
i love healthy pastry
i am having a baby
i am having an abortion
i know
everything about the world inside my thought bubble
it says HMMMMMM
i wander
ich bin ein wunder

02 December 2012


hanging or what is the cliff
meaning is my happy
a rainbow i say sun or who rains me
& change light from see to distant chime
growth in a feeling a universe
the magic that makes me dance
i am a liver or move a stormy beach
the crush of relaxed air
small shakes & situations of yr voice
calling me the patient star death
or beautiful gnarl trunk & root & olive
i am squeeze me w all yr strength
i am a smoke a trail to the gold mountains
i can't live here w you i assume
afraid of disappearing
of being the smallest sound